(Closed) How close to my friends date can i set mine?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2777 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

A month apart doesn’t seem that bad to me.  A day or a week apart might be more annoying.  I think I’ll prob be fine but talk to the people that you’d like to travel and see if they  can do both trips.

Post # 4
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MsGinkgo:  I would think at least a month apart should be fine. If you’re worried about the guest(s) that have to travel for both, then talk to them and see if they can swing both with their work and finances…but maybe wait until you are actually engaged before you start worrying over that. Also, talk to your friend since it’s obvious you are excited for her wedding and do not want to upset her. When you announce your engagement, talk to her about your plans and ideas and judge her reaction. You may be worrying for nothing and she may look forward to sharing the planning process with someone who is going through the same thing and share all the excitement of it!

Post # 5
Member
6586 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you need to hold off until you’re actually engaged to pick a date and worry about it.

As for what’s too close, I guess that’s up to you. My wedding is 2 weeks after a friends wedding (in which my Fiance is the best man). They got engaged before us and set their date right away. We tried to avoid being too close but it was just the only date that worked for us and our families. We’ve been together over 12 years, so honestly, I wasn’t willing to wait an extra year just so we didn’t get married too close to them. Our weddings are totally different, and really none of our guests will overlap.

Post # 6
Member
8729 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Honestly you can plan your wedding for whenever you and Fiance want to but it is nice that you are concerned. If it was me I would wait at a minimum 2 weeks but probably a month because I would want my friends there and they might be on their honeymoon if you do it sooner. However if the one person that you are really worried about being there is important to you I would speak to them about it. Ask them if they could swing the timeframe that you are thinking about.

Post # 7
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

A month sounds just about right~ 🙂

Post # 8
Member
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Personally I think any date that doesn’t clash is ok, but if you want them to attend, think about their honeymoon, which probably means 2 weeks apart minimum. There will only be 1 friend travelling for both so it’s no big deal.

I’ve known 4 friends to get married on 4 consecutive weekends!

EDIT: Oh Labor day is early September in Canada? Then anytime in Oct or Nov is fine In My Humble Opinion.

Post # 9
Member
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012 - Prairie Production- Chicago (loft)

I would give it at least a month…especially to give those a chance to recover if they will be attending both. Weddings are expensive…. so Im sure several people would appreciate a chance to get on their feet before they have to put out more money. Sorry to say this …but putting more time between the two dates might benefit you in terms of gift amounts.

 

Also since she is already engaged Id let this be her time, when it happens to you Im sure you want all the focus on you… so the more distance between the weddings IMO the better. The beginning of Nov seems to be a good time if shes getting married early September.

Post # 12
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think just ask her – my fiance’s best man is getting married next year, so we asked him which dates were “out of the question” for him and his fiancee. They were perfectly happy to let us know how much time they wanted around their wedding for the buildup/wind down.

Post # 13
Member
2715 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

A month is a good amount of time between weddings.  However, I think you should wait until you are actually engaged before doing any serious planning.  Looking on Pinterest and getting ideas = fine.  Contacting and booking vendors = too soon.

Post # 14
Member
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Depends how close you are with her.  Mine is 2 weeks before my friends.  But we are close and have very different styles so our weddings wont be similar or anything.  I’m SUPER excited about her wedding and i adore her Fiance.  We are probably going to have a joint bachelorette as well since we have a group of the same friends. 

So it totally depends.  But it gets annoying really fast when you try to avoid all the weddings. 

Also, wait till your engaged. 

Post # 15
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think you should make sure to talk to this bride friend about when it. You don’t have to be engaged for that talk if this is a close friend and you’re certain to be engaged by christmas time this year. You could bring it up “Since you’re getting married, I’ve been thinking about what time of year I would like my wedding to be someday, I really want to have an October or November wedding. Wouldn’t it be cool if SO proposed soon, then we could have our weddings close together!” Then gage her reaction, if she seems or says she doesn’t think she would want that, then you will have one pissed off friend, if she genuinely seems to be enthusiastic about that hypothetical idea then you should be fine.

Post # 16
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Swizzle:  I agree, I’ve seen too many boards with “I can’t believe she decided to get married the same year as me! How rude!”

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