(Closed) How close to the wedding do you pause in writing thank you cards?!

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: We took/will take a break in writing Thank You's

    1 week before the wedding.

    2 weeks before the wedding.

    3 weeks before the wedding.

    4+ weeks before the wedding.

    We're waiting until after the wedding to write wedding gift thank yous.

    We didn't take a break and were writing thank yous just days before the wedding.

  • Post # 3
    4354 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I sent thank you’s for all my shower gifts within a week or 2 of the showers but we’ve had a wedding gift delivered and we are not sending those thank you’s until a few weeks after the wedding along with all the ones for gifts we receive at the wedding.

    Post # 4
    7898 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    1. I think you can wait since you are so close to the wedding especially since you will of course write your notes very soon after your wedding/honeymoon.

    2. No. You do not write thank yous for attending. You only write notes for gifts, so you should not write another note to someone you already wrote one to unless they bring yet another gift. You will thank your guests for attending by visiting with them in person during the reception and by hosting them at said reception.

    Post # 5
    93 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    1) I hope you can wait, because that’s what I’m doing lol My wedding isn’t until October, but we have gotten two gifts already. I plan on sending out thank you cards after the wedding. If I do some now, and some later- it just seems like someone will be forgotten or left out some how. Plus, like you, I am feeling really overwhelmed with everything else! Thank you cards were not on the agenda until AFTER we get back from the honeymoon.

    2) If you do choose to write a thank you note before your wedding, I would say that you wouldn’t have to write a thank you note for their attendance. ( But I still might, Maybe just a “thank you for sharing our joy on our special day” type of thing?. Only because I feel that it would be nice to do so, but you don’t HAVE to do it)


    Post # 6
    3311 posts
    Sugar bee

    I personally would write them right away but my thank you notes aren’t going to be long and drawn out. 

    Post # 7
    3072 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We received a gift from an uncle that can’t attend our wedding this week.  Our wedding is two months away.  We will be writing a thank you very soon for him.  I am thinking that I will write thank you notes for any gifts we receive up until 2 weeks before the wedding, then any received in that time frame I will wait until after the wedding.  People know you have a lot going on and will still appreciate receiving a thank you note in a timely manner after your wedding.

    Post # 8
    4192 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    If you’re overwhelmed, go ahead and wait. Or you could address/stamp them now, just to get that part done.


    Post # 9
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    A couple off weeks before my wedding, I was feeling overwhelmed too, and put thank you notes aside. But then about three days before my wedding, I had finished all my wedding preparations and guests had not yet started arriving. I was feeling pretty antsy and in need of a task, so I got a ton done right before the wedding. I’d say do them if you have time, but don’t make yourself crazy or go out of your way this close to your wedding. Plus, you might feel frustrated doing them now because the gifts will just keep coming so it won’t feel like you’re making any progress.

    Post # 10
    3356 posts
    Sugar bee

    I didn’t wait.  I would try to make yourself do them.  If you wait and don’t send them for a few weeks after your honeymoon you are quickly at 2 months later, which is getting towards the outer limit.

    It will not take you very much time (5 mins each tops).


    View original reply
    @CinderellaSoon:  You should not wait to send them until after your October Wedding.  That is 2.5 months away.  It is quite impolite to not thank people as soon as possible.

    Post # 11
    705 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    1) It’s not impolite to wait until after the wedding to send or write all the notes, although it will make things a bit easier if you take a few moments to write out the notes for the gifts as you receive them and set them aside to mail all at once after the wedding.  Think about it–writing 2 or 3 notes every night right now or writing out 100 of them all at once when you get back from the honeymoon.  Having half or more already done a little at a time will be a huge relief.

    2) If you did send out notes now, you would not have to send out additional notes to thank people for attending.  However, I like to write a quick thanks for being there for this occasion when I write a thank you for a gift so if you’d like to do that, it’s fine but then you’d want to wait to send everything out even if you’ve written them out ahead of time.

    I always write out a thank you as soon as I get the gift.  I will absolutely write out the thank yous as we receive wedding gifts and mail them all out at once when we get back from the honeymoon.

    Post # 12
    6734 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I don’t think you need to send thank you cards until you send them to everyone after the wedding.  You shouldn’t have to sit 2 or 3 times to write out ntoes.  I also think one thank you card is sufficient to cover both attending and sending a gift.  A lot of people have to wait for their pictures to come back from their photographer because they use the pictures for the thank you card, so if they can wait, I’m sure you can, too.

    Post # 13
    3696 posts
    Sugar bee

    I wouldn’t wait. It’s more polite to thank promptly, plus it lets people know the gift arrived safely. Photo thank you cards are nice and all, but I think it would be better to get the thank you’s sent out promptly for the early gifts and use the photo cards just for the ones you receive at the wedding. Guests aren’t going to compare thank-you cards, after all, and be offended if they receive one that’s different from someone else’s.

    The topic ‘How close to the wedding do you pause in writing thank you cards?!’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors