(Closed) How common are broken engagements?

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 76
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My sister and I both ended engagements. 

In her case her ex confessed to cheating. They actually worked on it and tried to get past it, but he wasn’t fully ending the relationship with the other woman, was gaslighting her, etc. and she ended it which I and the rest of our family fully supported her in. (We also tried to support her as she was trying to make it work/deciding, but were generally in favor of ending the relationship.) They were just a few weeks out form their wedding when he felt guilty enough to confess he’d been cheating for a couple months of their engagement. She is now happy engaged to someone who is faithful to her.

I, on the other hand, finally admitted to myself that my ex and I were not compatible. I am very religious and while he professed to be committed to our “shared” religion as well, he wasn’t. I am serous about edication and employment, and while he kept promising me he was going to apply to college and get a job he never did. He was also pretty emotionally manipulative and I think had undiagnosed (and obviously untreated) depression. But, we loved each other and were young, so it took me some time and the seriousness of the engagement to end things. We lucky hadn’t been engaged long and hadn’t planned/paid for much. But I was still very embarassed and hearing that someone else I knew and looked up to had broken off an engagement helped me find the courage to do so as well. I’m happily committed and married to my husband (of almost 7 years) and with his support I’ve just finished a PhD. My ex is still on the same life path he was on when we broke up as far as I know (we are from the same town and have mutual and family friends). He was married to a woman from our hometown who I think I have a lot in common with, and he did not change in that relationship. I don’t think he wouldn’t changed in our marriage either.

Time has told that ending those engagements were the best choices for our situations, absolutely!

Post # 77
1586 posts
Bumble bee

My FH  has 2 broken previous engagements. Both women were cheating. One 2 months before the wedding while his mother was dying. 

He was pressured by the family of one. Both were unhealthy relationships and he really did not want to get married. 

It gave him some complexes and fears about engagement, but he started asking me for marriage quite early. He panicked out on meeting his own timelines, before we recently became  engaged.

So it means a great deal to me. He told me he will never again do anything he’s not 100 percent sure of, so knowing he wanted this engagement is very special, despite his having to work his fears out. It was hard to stay patient. 

Post # 78
1586 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
blushingbee2019 :  agreed. I think it is the opposite. They realize the very seriousness and face that the person they are with should not be the one to join with  in that serious committment . Lol 

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