(Closed) how considerate do you have to be?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Red Panda:  ahhhh. For my worst one….
I’ve been told to consider other peoples religion. As in, I should have a Catholic ceremony (even though after our marriage prep we were made to be REALLY uncomfortable with that and decided against it) just because FI’s mom is catholic and so is my mom, and majority of his family/my mom’s side.
I think this is huge because it’s putting our relgious beliefs or lack there of aside to accomodate other ppl. not cool.

The dress thing for you is kinda ridiculous (but also kind of funny… what a strange thing to say!)

Post # 4
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree with her about the cash and possibly the font.  The other items are silly and she should get over herself.

Post # 5
Member
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@Red Panda:  11am?!  When is your reception?  I don’t think people need to be able to check into their hotels BEFORE the ceremony, but if there is a long gap, people should be able to check in during the in between time.  Last wedding with a gap we went to ceremony was at 2pm, we checked in after and reception was at 5pm.

As for the rest, the only one I disagree with your mom on is the back of your dress – that’s just silly!

Post # 6
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It’s rude to request money or to mention any preference with regards to gifts. But besides that you’re fine. Guest can figure out how to read italics (or call if they are confused), you can wear whatever you want to your wedding, have your ceremony when you want it. Plenty of people have morning weddings and nothing is wrong with that.

Post # 7
Member
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Ahh, yes… my mother told me that I should have my wedding halfway across the country from where we live/our friends live – to be considerate of my grandparents.  She said that they might not want to travel to us.

This was a matter of days after I got engaged.  Sort of burst my bubble.

None of FI’s family or our mutual friends would be likely to make it if we did that – which included the entire wedding party.

I compromised by agreeing to a vow renewal on my grandparents’ property the spring following our ‘real’ wedding.

Post # 8
Member
3755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@mayflowerbride13:  Long before getting engaged, my Fiance told me that we HAD to have a Catholic church wedding because some of his family (that we NEVER see) would be upset. We do not go to church, don’t even believe in organized religion, it would be so hypocritical. Thankfully after getting engaged he said he realized he was being a hypocrite and that we could have the ceremony at the same venue as the reception. 

Post # 9
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Ya my mother wanted me to have my wedding where she lives too.  Either a 15 hour drive or flight. For the entire guest list except my mom, dad, and brother.

Ya, ok! 

Post # 10
Member
2715 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with the second point about not asking for cash.  It’s never polite to ask for cash or to dictate the gift given.

I sort of understand the first and third points.  Weddings earlier in the day can be hard to attend for those people traveling.  I would check with your VIPs (parents, siblings, grandparents, and BFFs) to make sure that the timing would work for them.  You may find out that your BFF or FI’s sister might not be able to get into town until Saturday morning and could possibly miss the wedding.  But otherwise, you have the wedding when you want to.

Also, with the font size, it might really be hard for some folks to read.  If you think a specific person might have trouble reading it, you can look into maybe ordering a few invites that are easier to read – we did that.  You certainly don’t have to, but I agree it’d be a nice gesture.

The 4th point makes ZERO sense to me.  Wear whatever dress you want!  Silly mom.

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