(Closed) How detailed do I need to be at my new OBGYN appt?

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
7445 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I would list it all out. If you don’t, you will probably have to say it in person for the first time, and it just seems easier to write it down and give them the chance to prepare what questions to ask.

Post # 4
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Tell all this to your doctor! That is his/her job. 

That is insane. I don’t want to freak you out, but no – it is not normal to have black discharge. Honestly, I’ve never been to a hospital, but I would totally have gone to the hospital a long time ago if I were you. 

Your other doctor clearly fails at life and you should even consider complaining to the state licensing board. 

Post # 5
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013


i would mention absolutely everything, including that you were uncomfortable with your last doctor and are seeking another opinion. There is no reason why you should feel silly or go on dealing with these daily symptoms without a proper investigation. I also suffer from anxiety and hate feeling like a doctor is not taking me seriously, but there’s no way a doctor can make a full assessment of your situation without knowing everything, and even a tiny detail could be a clue.


i really hope you are able to find a solution. These kinds of problems are the WORST and I’m sure would be much more easily solved if we didn’t have to feel so embarrassed!

Post # 6
1431 posts
Bumble bee

@AcheneMalefic:  I would absolutely talk to her about all of those problems at this visit.

A lot of your symptoms sounds endometriosis related. I would request a pelvic ultrasound to rule out any really large cysts which could be causing your constant pain. When I had a really large cyst on my ovary it was pushing on my bowels/bladder which caused the urination/ Bridesmaid or Best Man pain.  also pain all month long instead of just the painful periods. After surgery it was 100% better. An ultrasound would show if you have a cyst. Your periods are also very irregular which needs to be addressed also.

I hope this doctor adressess all your concerns and is proactive about finding out what is wrong. If they aren’t- find a new one right away. It isn’t worth it living in pain!

Post # 7
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Tell her everything and good luck. Have you had an u/s at all since your MC?

Post # 8
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I am so sorry you are going through this! Definitely tell the doctor everything, let us know what they say!

Post # 10
923 posts
Busy bee

You need to tell your new obgyn all of this, and if he/she is dismissive you need to find a new one. Last fall I was having a lot of cramping and pain and fatigue and it turned out that I had pelvic inflammatory disease, and since having it treated things have gone back to normal. Sex should not be painful and youa should have a doctor who is working with you to fix that!

Post # 11
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@AcheneMalefic:  I am not very knowledgable on MC’s either but I would think you would need to be checked out to make sure the MC was complete, the black discharge and pain is what worries me for you. Hopefully this Dr will do something for you and not just dismiss your symptoms. (which I just think your old Dr was an ass hat) Good luck and please keep us posted.

Post # 13
1285 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Tell the new doctor everything, it gives him/her the best possible chance of figuring it all out sooner.  I went through 5 ob/gynes before finding one that I liked and felt comfortable with, if one dismisses you, makes you feel uncomfortable, treats you poorly, or even your gut/instinct just doesn’t feel good about it-don’t go back.

Finally, to a good doctor the only time a low pain tolerance really means anything is if you also show signs of drug seeking, which you aren’t. A good doctor will hear “pain” and think “I need to fix something”.

Post # 14
6349 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

Mention everything, and be as specific as possible.


How is intercourse painful? Where do you experience the pain (vagina, deeper inside, pelvis?), and what is it like (cramping, stabbing, sharp, aching, burning, stretching?)? Is it worse during or around your period? How would you rate the pain on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being so painful you’d black out, 9 being pretty close, etc)

How are urination and bowel movements painful? Again, is it bruning, or stabbing? Do you experience sharp rectal pain when passing a motion? Have you ever had any bleeding? Etc.


As far as the pain goes, what have you tried to manage it, and with what success? (painkillers/hormone treatments, etc). How severe is the pain, and how does it impact daily life? Can you offer examples of what your pain threshold is like? (eg I know I have a much higher pain threshold than most, as after breaking my foot I still managed a 5 hour shift on my feet, I fall asleep during bikini waxes, etc; so the fact my period pain leaves me vomitting and delirious, and at the point of passing out, says a lot).

I’ll be honest: to me, your symptoms sound like classic symptoms of endometriosis. The bowel pain, the pain on urination, the constant back pain, the cramps, the painful intercourse, and the fact the symptoms worsen around your period: these are all ‘classic endo’, and I experience nearly all of them bar pain during urination. It could also be down to a cyst, but IMPO I think endo is more likely.

Please do not take ‘no’ for an answer. You should have blood tests done first of all, 2 weeks apart, to measure hormone l;evels, and a scan to rule out ovarian cysts and/or PCOS. The next step would be a lap, which I would advise even if the scan reveals cysts, as unless the cysts are very large, they should not be causing the number and severity of symptoms you are experiencing, and I personally would want endo ruled in or out.

Good luck, and if you have any questions, please let me know.

Post # 15
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Wow, I am so sorry that your last OB sucked. I’m glad you found a new one. Please, please list this all out on paper and take it with you. If the new OB is dismissive, find another who will listen to you. <3

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