How did children change your relationship?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

I also love my husband to the moon and back and we are currently expecting out first bundle of joy in April. So far being pregnant has bade us more of a family unit 

Post # 3
Member
9128 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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lauraspencer :  for us we’ve really had to work as a team even more than ever before and that has brought us closer. We also did IVF which tightened our bond. We do have to make a conscious effort to take dates and not spend the entire time talking about household issues or our daughter, but we make the effort. I have a new love and respect for watching my husband with our daughter and seeing their relationship grow. And he has said that he was so proud and impressed watching me go through IVF, pregnancy, a natural birth, and breastfeeding struggles and really being impressed with my determination to do everything I could that I thought was best for our child and our family. 

Post # 4
Member
5447 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

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lauraspencer :  does he know you aren’t sure if you want kids? If he’s completely sure he wants them, and you’re not sure, what happens if you decide that you don’t want any?

Post # 5
Member
5447 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

Also, you shouldn’t feel guilty for being unsure about kids, you just need to make sure he knows that you might not want kids

Post # 6
Member
3513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Our son has brought DH and I so much closer. Like other posters we went through infertility (though did conceive naturally in the end) so that also helped bond us. It also gave us more time to prepare ourselves for our baby.

we talk all the time about fair division and we try to ensure we both have some ‘me’ time every week. That might be a gym visit or lunch with friends etc. We try to have couple time as much as possible too. We eat dinner together every week night and if we stay with my parents we make the most of having baby sitters. 

We split baby chores 50/50 as much as possible (obviously DH couldn’t breastfeed) and support each other’s careers and understand our competing needs.

all that said, we’ve take the decision to stop at 2 kids as we feel it is possible to maintain this with two but not once we’re out numbered. 

Its really normal to worry about this and In my experience it’s the couples who don’t talk about it up front and ‘baby proof’ their relationship that struggle

Post # 7
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I would say having a child did not affect our relationship. We are still close. Our son goes to bed and then we have plenty of time together each night. Definitely talk about expectations. Be open. Don’t be resentful. Let each person parent and learn their own lessons with the kid. I definitely enjoy having our son around. He’s a fun thing to focus on and brings a lot of laughter and silliness. Compartmentalizing life is kind of hard with a kid. The kid will ooze into everything. It’s a change, but a good change if it’s what you want. Talk to your partner and figure it out. Each couple handles this stuff differently. How you two will manage it is unique to you.

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