(Closed) How did letting your bridesmaids pick their own dress work out?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
703 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I was really nervous about this part but I knew I wanted to let my BMs pick the dress they felt most comfortable in. I gave each of them a swatch of the color I wanted and I was lucky enough that they each took the time to match the color just right. They all had different styles of dresses but the color ended up matching perfectly. If you’re worried, I would at least be specific about one thing whether it be the color or style of dress. 

Post # 3
Member
3562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I told my bridesmaids I wanted them to pick a style they were comfortable in.  I already had a color in mind and I suggested a couple of different fabrics that I felt meshed well together. 

In my area, it’s more common for all the BMs to have the same dress, and my BMs still wanted to follow that, so we all went shopping together and ended up picking the same dress style together. Easy peasy.

Post # 4
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception / Courtyard Marriott Legacy Ballroom

Completely agree with 

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omglauren! In order for mismatched dresses to work, you really need to give them colors or a style to look for. I gave my bridesmaids a pallet of different shades of lilac, and they did a great job of choosing colors! I also gave them a rough style that I liked – knee length, flowy skirt – so that they wouldn’t look too different from eachother. 

Post # 5
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Enoch Turner Schoolhouse

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chrissybee:  at the beginning stages of wedding planning I wanted the girls to pick their own dress, in the shade of grey with black strappy shoes.  Well, as soon as they all started looking – they were bombarding me with picture texts, or links to website texts, and it was just overwhelming!

I ended up buying the same style dress for ALL of them – AND not even going with my original color choice.  They’re now wearing off-white dresses with gold shimmer and I made ivory sashes with silver rhinestone for them.  For shoes they are wearing what they own.  Each girl is wearing one of these colors: silver, champagne, nude and or gold strappy shoes – I think they will look amazing in photos!

While I loved the mis-matchy bridesmaid dresses “look” – this way just saved me the headaches and I had more time to focus on my DIYs lol.

Post # 6
Member
6474 posts
Bee Keeper

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chrissybee:  I gave them some guidance: I wanted my Maid/Matron of Honor in a shorter, more fitted dress in ivory/cream (she has a totally different style to the others, so I figured if she was going to wear something different we may as well go all out),and my junior Bridesmaid or Best Man also in cream/ivory (I left the style, length etc up to her). The with my 3 adult BMs I asked that they choose dresses by the same designer, in the same colour (any colour bar ivory/cream/white) and length, but beyond that they were free to choose (they settled on floor-length emerald green chiffon dresses by Dessy, and all went with strapless but two had the same style and the other one a different style). 

It worked really well. However a) I did give some guidance/had some ‘stipulations’ and b) we’ve grown up together and they have similar tastes/style, so I knew there wouldn’t be any disagreements and that everyone would easily and happily be able to agree. They are also similar sizes (UK 6-10). 

If you are giving totally free reign be sure that is what you want ie you’re OK with a completely mismatched look. Otherwise, consider setting some stipulations (eg length/fabric/colour family) to get a more cohesive look. 

Post # 7
Member
6474 posts
Bee Keeper

To add: my mum and I did some ‘groundwork’ first and narrowed it down to a particular shop (based on price and the girl’s preferences), then we all went together and an hour later, it was a done deal. Very easy and painless. Would also add that we paid, which I think makes things a bit smoother. 

Post # 8
Member
836 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I let my Bridesmaid or Best Man pick the style they wanted, but I picked the color and the material.  That way, they all matched but were in styles that they felt comfortable in/would wear again. I’m wayyy too OCD to be able to handle different materials and slightly different shades.

Post # 9
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I made the mistake of letting my bridesmaids choose their own, we are 3 months away and neither of them have dresses yet. I only have TWO bridesmaids too. However I think part of its my fault as well; I didn’t give specific enough instructions. I told them any shade of blue except navy. I prefer short but they could do long, and nothing too slutty (My maid of honor has sent me two dresses that I wouldn’t even wear to my own bachelorette party.)

Another reason it has been so difficult is because of budgets. When you let them choose their own dress, you are letting them choose their own budget. My maid of honor has a $50 budget and my other bridesmaid has $100 budget. It is REALLY HARD to find two different dresses, both blue, in the unique styles they want.

I’m really close to saying screw it and telling them what dresses they need to buy because it’s getting really close and I have way bigger things to stress and worry about than if my bridesmaids will be clothed for my wedding. Neither of them act like its a big deal at all.

In my opinion, it really depends on your bridesmaids. Make sure they are responsible and flexible. If they are college students (like one of mine) or mothers (like my other,) they may not take the time to look around and may keep procrastinating. If they are super excited, and have a larger budget, I say go for it!!!!

Post # 10
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Magnolia House

I gave my girls a choice of about 8 to pick from. I picked the color and material and they could choose the actual dress they wear. I originally told them they could pick whatever but nobody wanted to make a decision so I narrowed it down to 8 and said which do YOU like best. One of them is not understanding the “I want everyone in same color but different dresses” she still keeps telling me they should have their hair, jewelry and shoes match. Um no just some cute silver sandals is all you need and you can do whatever you want for the rest. It is not that hard people! 🙂

Post # 11
Member
5151 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

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chrissybee:  We went to David’s Bridal. I gave them a length, color and fabric and they got to choose whatever style of dress they wanted. It actually worked out really well – a couple had the same dresses but there was enough mix and match that it looked great… 3 had one style, 2 had another, and then two more each had their own individual one. 

Post # 12
Member
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I picked the color/fabric from a specific designer and told them to pick any style from that designer. I called different shops in each city they all loved in and told them which styles were available to try on in person. It ended up being really stressful for all of them, so I narrowed it down to three and told them to pick from that. They ended up with the 2 MOHs choosing one option and the 3 BMs doing another. In a weird twist, one of the MOHs dress was stolen from her porch, so she was shipped the third option last minute. All still look cohesive and beautiful. Turns out tok much freedom was just too much for them. I thought I was being relaxed and cool but they just weren’t used to the choice. 

Post # 14
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I did because I wanted her to feel pretty, too. It was a beautiful dress from Nordstrom that looked fantastic on her- she even got it tailored to perfection. Unfortunately, she completely tore the zipper getting into it the day of the wedding and had to scramble to find an old bridesmaid dress in her closet that wasn’t nearly as nice. Oh well!

Post # 15
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I gave them guidance as far as length and color went.  No one chose anything.  Decided to start a pinterest board filled with affordable (less than $100) dresses that would be perfectly fine for them to choose from, just to help give them some ideas.  Still no one bought anything.  Ended up about two months before the wedding having to say “This is your dress.  Buy it.” And then they did. 

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