(Closed) How did you ask your BMs to be your BMs?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Ummm… text message!  I was really excited, and I knew who I wanted before we got engaged.

Post # 4
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I live overseas so I wasn’t able to ask them in person. Instead, I sent them flowers with a card asking them to be my bridesmaids. They loved it! 

Post # 6
Member
4415 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I got loaded and called them! They mostly live on the other side of the country. Called my brother first since we wanted him and his girlfriend in the bridal party, and apparently they were with my sister and her husband at the time … so my sister spent a good ten minutes feeling really butthurt that brother’s girlfriend was asked to be in the wedding while she wasn’t. Haha I think she was relieved when her phone also rang!

Post # 7
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I only have one attendant, and she’s been “on call” for Maid/Matron of Honor duties since college.

I couldn’t reach her when I got engaged though… I sort of knew it would happen eventually; and we’d planned for her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor.  But when he finally asked, she was offshore fishing and WOULD NOT PICK UP HER PHONE.  All weekend.  I finally emailed her.

After the summary of the proposal, I wrote “And I still want you to be my bridesmaid. Ok?”

She called me back the next day to say congrats, and ok.

Post # 8
Member
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My Maid/Matron of Honor assumed she was so when I called to tell her we were engaged.

My BMs were all different– one via text, one via googlechat and one in person.  The methods of asking varied on their personalities and proximity!

Post # 9
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I asked them over the phone since it was hard to get together and ask them in person.

Post # 10
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Mine was pretty unoriginal. (By unoriginal I mean nothing cute or pintrest-worthy!) I texted my Maid/Matron of Honor a picture of the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress I was thinking and asked her “Would you wear this?” When she said “yes its gorgeous!” I said “Would you wear it in December??” Then she freaked out and got excited and started asking all the wedding related questions. 

Two of my BMs are FH’s sisters, one half and one step, so he texted them both to find out if they would be in it.

Then, at a party, we gathered the last Bridesmaid or Best Man, the best man (who had been previously called and asked), and 2 of the groomsmen who were there to tell them and ask them to be in it. The last groomsmen who wasn’t at the party was called after all the others said yes. 

I sort of wish I had written cards or done something cute, but I also wanted to be together with FH, and it was kind of special asking the majority of our bridal party at the same time all together in the same room. I think I’m going to write a card to each of the BMs to include as a wedding gift to make up for my lack of originality in asking them to be BMs! 

Post # 11
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I asked my cousin to be my bridesmaid. He looked at me for a moment, completely horrified, and asked “Do I have to wear a dress? Because I don’t think I could pull off a dress at 6’4″, 275 lbs”. I told him that there are plenty of plus sized dresses that would look fantastic on him 😉 

I just asked. My fiance called his best man to ask her if she would do it. We aren’t that fancy though 🙂

Post # 12
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012 - Hacienda los Agaves

I sent them rings I made with pipecleaners and hershey’s kisses with a note asking them to stand beside me that day. I sent them to them cause they all liev far away and I couldn’t do it in person.

Post # 13
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I ordered some cheap etsy cards with a cute wedding dress design on the front, then put personalized poems inside. I added a ring pop in case they hated my poems–at least then they would get something they liked out of it : )

Post # 15
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

I asked my Maid/Matron of Honor with a nice card I made in our wedding colors. I asked my bridesmaids with the ring pop in a box (the Bride’s turn to pop the question thing).

Recently a friend asked me to be in her wedding and she asked with a bottle of wine and saying.

Post # 16
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I just asked them. One of my bridesmaids is married to my fiance’s best man, so we took them out to dinner and asked them together. Everyone else I asked over the phone or by email. I thought about doing something creative but was already getting lost in so many other wedding-related details that it just didn’t seem worth it. Plus I figured that money and energy would be better spent on their actual bridesmaid gifts. 

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