How did you celebrate your 2nd marriage? (Poll included)

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: How did you do your 2nd marriage?
    A big wedding (as big as the first) : (7 votes)
    21 %
    A big wedding ( I didn't have a big first wedding) : (3 votes)
    9 %
    Eloped/registry marriage just the two of us : (7 votes)
    21 %
    A small wedding with close family and friends : (16 votes)
    48 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    710 posts
    Busy bee

    I would be fine with running away and eloping, but i know my fiance wants to get all the family together and its his first (And hopefully only) wedding. Planning this wedding has been completely new and exciting because its with a different person with different dreams. I’m so excited!

    Post # 5
    Member
    1331 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle

    I had the giant white wedding the first time around at it wasn’t “me” at all, but I have a huge family and we invite everyone. I barely knew half the people there. 

    Second marriage, I was totally fine eloping or going to the courthouse, but my it was my husband’s first marriage and he wanted some kind of wedding. When we started planning, we tried to invite all of our family, but in the end it would’ve been just like my first wedding and I didn’t want that. It also would’ve been hella expensive and we were paying for it ourselves mostly. We ended up having a very small wedding with our immediate families and close friends, all on a very tight budget. Ceremony and dinner, that was it. It was a beautiful day and 12+ years later, I have zero regrets. Good luck to you!

    Post # 6
    Member
    7733 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    My first marriage we had just our parents and siblings attend. For my second marriage, it was my husband’s first- so we had a wedding that was  bigger but not huge. 86 people ended up attending.

    Post # 7
    Member
    60 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    For my first wedding, we got married in my parents’ living room, with 11 people (mostly family) in attendance. Had a small cake from the local grocery store and a champagne toast. Then my (now ex-) husband and I went out to dinner and stayed the night in a hotel. I felt a bit cheated that I didn’t get the big wedding. 

    For my now-husband’s first marriage, they just went to the courthouse. No celebration. So when we talked about getting married, we thought about having the big wedding. We both have children from our previous marriages, and the literature I read said to include the kids in the wedding. However, when I started to plan, the whole notion seemed like a big waste of money. We talked to the kids and none of them (but my adult daughter) were even interested in attending a wedding (they were fine with us getting married, just didn’t want to have to dress up – between us there are 6 boys, 2 girls). 

    We decided to elope when I found a company that does weddings on sailboats (my Darling Husband loves catamarans – which is what this company’s sailboat was). The price was right and the captain offered to take pictures. We had a lovely ceremony at sunset, stayed in an adorable B&B, and enjoyed our few days away. It was very meaningful to us and provided some very special memories. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    386 posts
    Helper bee

    mahadewi :  I dont even want a ‘wedding’. But my man has never been married and wants the whole shebang…ugggh…

    I guess because I have had it before (even though the wedding was stressful and a hot mess imo just like the marriage), I now believe that the wedding does not mean much (for me). Plus, it grates my nerves that money would have to be spend again.  I would love to compromise with just a casual party but again, he wants the whole wedding experience so I guess I will have to concede since it’s only fair.

    Post # 9
    Member
    5091 posts
    Bee Keeper

    First time around I was very young. I eloped on a sun porch, wore jeans and a nice top. Super, super casual.

    Second time around I also eloped but I had a wedding dress, flowers, hair and makeup and it was held in a beautiful venue, San Francisco City Hall.  Second time around felt much more special and celebratory.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2062 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    This will be my FI’s first marriage and my second. We plan on a small wedding (no more than 70 guests), but because we are in a better financial situation than my ex and I were the first time around, it will be bigger and with more of my wish-list items. I am particularly excited to serve excellent food and drinks in a beautiful setting and my Fiance is excited about the live band. It’s a lot of fun to have this second chance.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1987 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    mahadewi :  We haven’t gotten married yet or are even planning the wedding at this point, but we both want to do a small celebration with just immediate family. He eloped in his previous marriage and his family was unhappy that they weren’t involved, and I had a great big fun wedding and it was awesome but the marriage didn’t last – so now we just want to celebrate with our close family. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    55 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2018 - City, State

    My first time around I wanted to elope, but the ex-husband wanted the big wedding/and party. This time around I also wanted to elope, but my Fiance wants at minimum to have family there to witness so we are doing a small wedding of 40 people. I think there are WAY more men that love weddings than we think laughing

    Post # 13
    Member
    912 posts
    Busy bee

    I wanted to elope with my first marriage and the ex wanted a huge thing, so we compromised with an afternoon wedding at a mansion near our University. My parents paid for it, so we had random family friends and family attending. I cut costs by going cheap on my wedding dress. We had a minister, did a Unity candle, had attendants. There was more “ceremony” than I was comfortable with or wanted.

    This time around, Fiance and I doing it casual. More of a big party than a wedding. We’re paying for it, so we aren’t inviting random people – it’s going to be the people who are a part of our lives. I dropped the money on a dress I absolutely love. The ceremony itself is going to short – we are writing our own vows. We aren’t having attendants. It’s the most perfect vibe for us and we are both on the same page, so that makes it even better. One of his friends is going to DJ, another one of his friends is an award-winning events photographer who takes *amazing* photojournalist style pics; we’re going to be married by a friend who is ordained. It’s got a really personal feel so far and we are loving it. 

    Fiance and I kicked around the idea of having a no-frills ceremony and a party after, but the party we talked about having was going to be on/near the water anyways…so, might as well just get married during the “party” too!

    Post # 14
    Member
    57 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

    The first time around it was such a rush thing and we were on a very tight budget.   Total cost was  around $2k and I had nothing the way I would have liked due to the 6 week engagement and money issues.  We were 21 and 26, I was 7 months pregnant, and we got married in Vegas at a chapel since we lived in Vegas at the time.  We had approximately 40 guests total.  Totally a shotgun wedding that could have been on any of the tacky reality tv wedding shows. 

    Fiance ran off to Vegas to get married when he was 25 on a whim and that marriage only lasted 4 months so to him he feels he didn’t have a wedding at all.  They went to eat at a buffet afterwards and that was that.  

    This time around we’re taking our time with the engagement and planning what feels more like a “real” wedding so we have the things we feel are important to us.  Guest list is still pretty low with around 60 people, but we’re putting most of our money into the reception.  We’re older, wiser, and much more outspoken about what we want.   This is very much going to be OUR wedding.

    Besides I really love the notion that this might be our second weddings but it’s the first time marrying each other so we deserve it to be special.  This time around I actually feel like an engaged bride to be too which is just awesome.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1777 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I had the big white wedding the first time, we fondly refer to it as the Murphy wedding, if it could go wrong it did go wrong. He had a huge wedding for his first time.

    This time we’re doing a tiny/small destination wedding in Las Vegas, Married by Elvis, Simple ceremony and a great steak dinner afterwards. We want sweet, simple, married just our close famiy and close friends. The big party was a lot of work, and it costs a lot more now.

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