(Closed) how did you choose your bridesmaids

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
10283 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

How irresponsible do you think your friend would be? Enough to really warrant not asking your best friend to stand by your side?

To answer your question, my bridesmaids were my 3 best friends. The decision was easy. I knew they’d be my bridesmaids since like jr. high.

Post # 4
5373 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I chose my mom to be my Maid/Matron of Honor because we’re really close and I knew that I could trust her and she would make this a great experience. I have four BMs and they’re my closest friends. Three are extremely genuine and sweet and one is pretty self-centered and needs a lot of attention. I figured I’d take the good with the bad so we’ll see how that plays out 😉 If she was any worse though I wouldn’t have asked her to be in the bridal party.

You know your friend best so you’re the best judge in this situation (:


Post # 5
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I asked my three closest friends to be my bridesmaids. It was hard picking a maid of honor out of the three, but I went with the one I felt was more responsible and dependable. I knew the other two would be too busy/far away to really help with anything. 

Post # 7
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Friends that are close, but to me it was important that they were generally drama free, are not vain, and are pretty easy going.

Post # 8
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I only have 1 and all I had to do is think of the person who I will most likely be sitting with in 10  years time, looking at my wedding album, reminiscing about the day. My Maid/Matron of Honor is one of my biggest supporters and without her support, this wedding would have driven me mad months ago! That’s the type of person you need. Whoever it is, they need to be supportive, steady and eager to help

Post # 10
11507 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I know that making these choices is not easy.

I have a large number of girlfriends, and I had served as MOH for three of my best friends’ weddings over the years and as a bridesmaid in several other friends’ weddings. However, since I did not marry until 10-23 years after most of my girlfriends, I was no longer as close with some of these ladies as I was with another friend at the time I became engaged. This proved to be a somewhat difficult choice for me, but I did not end up having my childhood best friend in my wedding, since we had not lived near each other for more than 25 years at that point, and we did not really maintain regular contact other than sending Christmas and birthday cards.  Ultimately, I selected the three women with whom I had the longest-but-closest friendships at the time of my engagement (two of whom had had me as their MOH). However, I did invite my childhood best friend to come be with me in the bride’s room and also chose to have her in the pics I had taken with my bridesmaids. I also seated her at the table with my parents and close family.

In addition to my three dear friends, I also had DH’s two daughters and DIL, my SIL, and my one MOH’s daughter in the wedding. She was one of two junior bridesmaids, since she has truly been like a daughter to me.  So, not counting my FG, I had a total of eight attendants (two MOHs, four BMs and two Jr. BMs), but only three of these actually were my friends.

I asked four other friends to serve in other roles. Two sang at my wedding, one did the Scripture readings, and another I had asked to handle the guest book (however, she decided she would just rather be a guest and not do that.)

Post # 11
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Best friend from college = stable, dependable rock.  Obvious choice for Maid/Matron of Honor for me.  This panned out very well when Hurricane Irene turned the week before our wedding completely upside down.  We almost had to cancel, and one reason we pulled off the wedding was my MOH’s amazing help.

Sister = bridesmaid #1.  Only sibling on either side, so another obvious choice.

Oldest childhood friend = also girliest friend.  I think she was more interested in my wedding than I was.

Best friend from grad school who moved overseas = mostly symbolic but I really miss her and was glad she could participate.  Plus this meant she was on the hook for making the trip!  🙂

Post # 12
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I chose my three best friends who have always been there for me and who are very different in every way which can really help with the wedding planning. I love getting their opinions on everything.

Post # 13
1991 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Well I’m still a waiting bee, but I am certatin that my sisters will be my bridesmaids.  This has been established since. . umm they came out of the womb. And I won’t be afraid to pull the “I’m tellin momma card”, if any of them does something crazy. LOL.

I suppose it depends on what you will expect from your BM’s.  If all you want her to do is show up in a dress, then by all means offer a Bridesmaid or Best Man position to your pot-smoking friend.  I mean I’m sure she could manage that much.  If you actually expect her to help you with projects, plan things, and help you pee in your wedding dress, then you need to have a direct conversation about your expectations of a Bridesmaid or Best Man, and give her make the choice whether or not to accept those responsibilities. 

Now if you could just care less whether she’s a Bridesmaid or Best Man or not, you could always just let her do a reading.  That way you still include her, but she’s not responsible for anything too serious that she can screw up. 

Post # 14
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Mine was an easy decision: 3 cousins (2 of whom are amongst my best friends, the other is like a little sister to me) and my future sister in law. I picked her so that we could become closer and bond over the whole wedding planning process, and she is going to be my sister after all.

Post # 15
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Chose those that mean the most to you. Mine was easy: I have two best friends who have been there for me my whole life. And the other was my Future Sister-In-Law. I have many friends, but I wanted the very closest to stand next to me, so that is how I narrowed down my choices.

Honestly, seniority means nothing if their heart isn’t in it.

Post # 16
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Great question! I am also having a difficult time picking my Maid/Matron of Honor. She has the most seniority, but lately isn’t what she used to be… I am planning on waiting until closer to the wedding to decide. Things change so fast within 6 months or a year, friendships change and people get busier or bitter if they are waiting for their own engagement.

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