(Closed) How did you choose your MOH? Did anyone 'demote' them to BM?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@kfiorita:  The fact that you say that your friend has been letting you down lately is already a signal that she may not be a good person for Maid/Matron of Honor. Do you not read all these (ridiculous) Bridesmaid or Best Man threads on here? Most brides had the signs there from the beginning that the person would be a flake, or complain, or not want to do anything, etc etc and pick people anyway.


My Maid/Matron of Honor is my best friend of basically my whole life. Our parents knew each other before we were even born. At my 3rd birthday party she is sitting right next to me in pictures. She is a single mom of THREE kids and I know she couldnt do much but I knew she has to stand next to me on my big day. My sister is just a Bridesmaid or Best Man.


Post # 5
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@kfiorita:  ” It only means that they sit next to you on the bridal table and are partnered with the best man… right?”

And next to you in the photos (and at the altar), and probably the main person planning the hens’ night, though in my experience there’s usually shared planning. From this forum I get the impression that Maid/Matron of Honor is a bigger deal in North America than it is here (Australia).

Sister is the natural and normal choice. Why do you think this could cause problems?

Post # 6
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Well, one if demoting her wasn’t a big deal, it wouldn’t be a big deal to just let it be.  It could hurt her feelings, or it could not.  That depends on how sentimental or how close you two are.  Could you possibly have two MOH?  Maid/Matron of Honor 1 and Maid/Matron of Honor 2?  But such a simple solution may not be available if you think you may come to resent the friend Maid/Matron of Honor for not “being their for you”.

As for my decision as who will be my MOH?  I haven’t made that yet.  I have informed the BM’s that they are BM’s.  But I have not anounced the Maid/Matron of Honor, even though each of them has asked.  And alot of bee’s may find this tacky, but I’m waiting to get a feel as to who is going to step up and really actually want to help me.  I understand people are human, but I’ve been let down too many times to just make a quick decision on who’s going to be my “right hand (wo-) man” on what is suposed to be one of the most important days of my life.

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