(Closed) How did you choose your officiant?

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 17
Member
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Aside from using weddingwire – I also looked at wedding videos on several videographers’ pages in the area we were getting married. One officiant really stuck out to me, and I just KNEW we had to have him as our officiant.

Post # 18
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@WhatMaeBee:  You still might want to ask anyone (and everyone) you know if they know someone (who knows someone?).  I know in my area, a lot of people have yet to discover the wonders of the interwebs, so some people would definitely be relying on word of mouth.

Post # 21
Member
9950 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

TO @WhatMaeBee:  Our whole Ceremony… Location – Officiant & Ceremony – Bouquet & Bout – Photographer (and approx 30 minutes of photos = 50ish Unedited Copyright Photos on a CD) came to under $ 500 (actually closer to $ 350)

IMO, cost will be all about WHAT is included… do your homework !!

We had an Elopement to a Destination Wedding (on a Beach)… and our Officiant came dressed “smart casual”… Khakis / Chinos and a large Hawaiian cut shirt (solid colour / no pattern).  Which was fine by us… as we were similarly dressed, appropriate for the beach (I wore a free flowing beachy Wedding Dress).  I did read on their website tho that if we wanted things to be more formal, that those arrangements could be made via a phone call.

Hope this helps,

PS… And for the record, we had a non-denominational “spiritual” Ceremony… with no extras (NO Sand Ceremony, NO Unity Candle, NO Wine Box etc).  The whole Ceremony was aprox 10 minutes.  It was perfect for us, and quite emotional, without the “cliche gimicky” stuff.

EDIT TO ADD – In your research you’ll probably find 3 types of Officiants… those that are registered with a particular (or many) Denominations as a Pastor / Reverand.  Those that “have a gavel will travel” designation (Justice of the Peace or similar) and then those folks who have a combo of them both…

Our Officiant fell into the last category, so they were uber flexible and had tons of experience.  They were able to customize our Ceremony however we wanted it to be with no “judgement” issues.

 

Post # 22
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

A very close Aunt of my Fiance will be performing our ceremony. She went though a website to become ordained. It means so much more to us that someone we are close with will be doing the ceremony.

Post # 23
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@WhatMaeBee: My fiance and I found our officiant on a Humanist website…. http://humanist-society.org/celebrants/

Neither of us are religous so we definitely want a secular ceremony. There was only one listed in our area, so we emailed and she seems great for us! We’ll be meeting with her sometime over the summer. She charges $150 + travel costs, which seems really reasonable. Our backup plan was to have a family member or close friend be ordained on the internet.

Post # 24
Member
4435 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Ours was highly recommended by a dear friend…and he was so awesome! I read and wrote reviews for him after our wedding (Reverend Pia Aluli) and everyone raves about him. 

Post # 25
Hostess
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Our venue gave us a list of recommended vendors.  Officiant was one vendor I was pretty clueless about.  We actually met the recommended officiant at a bridal show exclusive for our venue.  We just starting chatting with him and the conversation just felt really natural and flowed well.  We sent our deposit the next day.

Post # 26
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

We’re both atheists and we had people get ordained through the Universal Life Church. Of course, that’s perfectly legal in our jurisdiction. We had a friend ordained first, but my brother ended up doing the ceremony after friend-drama.

If anyone you know is comfortable speaking, it’s worth considering. Make sure you have a back-up ready to go, though.

Post # 27
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My Fiance and I are having a secular ceremony too, so finding an officiant that would do that for us was pretty important.  I ended up finding ours on wedding wire.  I used google first, but a lot of the officiants I found through google were REALLY expensive.  I looked on wedding wire after that and just searched for officiants near us.  The one we found has 185 5 star reviews!  She is great, and I would totally suggest searching on there if you haven’t already! 

Post # 28
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

Well, we just went straight to the Universal Life Church and had people ordained to do the ceremony for us.

We were naive and dumb when we chose our first officiant – a friend/boyfriend of my then-best friend. No one was willing to get ordained and help us out save for him, so in our excitement, we just went through it. Initially, he seemed like he was going to accommodate us and listen to what we wanted. It quickly became clear he was more interested in pushing his own agenda, having things go his way, and not listening to us. He was arrogant and haughty. Looking back, it should have been at least a bit obvious to me that he had a superiority complex going on and a desire to order people around. He’d been a bit abrasive to me in the past, but…

My brother ended up doing it. Turns out family’s a little less inclined to screw you over. He did a fantastic job, received lots of praise…it worked out really well.

That time around, I was painfully clear (I’d been clear with the first officiant, but apparently he was a selective listener) about what we wanted. “Here, just read off this paper.” “Sure thing.” If he had any opinions about how he didn’t like it or it annoyed him, he kept it to himself.

Post # 29
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2014

We hired ours to do a performance. Turns out he also is a Justice of the Peace and DJ. We booked the whole package.

 

Post # 30
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It isn’t set in stone yet, however, my dad is ordained, and he’s played an MASSIVELY huge role in my and my Fiance’s relationship (we believe in courting)

 

Sweetie and I are fully planning on asking him to perform the ceremony… the only hang up is that it will be a very emotional day for him (obviously!) and he might want to just sit back and play the ‘Father of the Bride’ role, rather than taking on those extra responsibilities.

 

Honestly, it’s just really important to us that the officiant played a role in our relationship, and is important to us both. My dad fits that bill perfectly

 

Post # 31
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We had a Destination Wedding and used weddingwire, it worked great for us!  Our officiant’s wife is a wedding planner, and he offered several packages that included flowers, musicians, photography and videography. He also recommended vendors for other things too and gave his discount he gets, loved the no markup!  The same people I contacted before we booked him were quoting me 100-200 more minimum for the same services. I also didn’t need a day of coordinator because all his people are used to working together, and we even got extra photo, video and violin time for free.  

He did non-denominimational and religious ceremonies. Darling Husband and I aren’t super religious, but choose the religious ceremony to appease our parents. He would dress however we wanted, in a robe, dress clothes or beach attire. Everyone loved him and there were things he did and knew that a friend just wouldn’t. How to project his voice, emphasize certain words and pauses in the right places. We broadcasted live and he made my aunt back home cry. 

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