(Closed) How did you come to the kids/no kids decision?

posted 10 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
43 posts
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would never have a straight out and out no children reception – personally I would say go with the chicken nuggets and fries  option also that means that parents don’t need to pay for a sitter, or “get back to the sitter” at 10pm or whatever. 

Also any Out of Town guests may struggle to find a sitter in a strange town … We are having children at our wedding – but that’s because we’re doing a home made buffet so it’s really no biggy! 

(and I love kids!)

Post # 4
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Most of our Family & friends with children have 3+ kids. We actually joke how they have clans.

Our final guestlist is 89 and if we invited children we were looking at 120!

We knew that we just couldn’t accomodate them.

Not just financially but I couldn’t figure out how to seat everyone…

have 3 childrens tables vs. having some tables 1/2 kids if they sat with their parents.

The only children invited are my son (ring bearer) & my Fiance niece & nephew (flower girl & jr gm)

We will have childcare on hand though along with $$ aside for someone to make a happy meal trip for those that bring their kiddos despite the invite “adult only” request & a phone call (i alread had to make 1 for a step sister that put her daughter on the rsvp)

Post # 5
14490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow, that’s a toughy. I really like the idea of the chicken nuggets and you could get tons of juice boxes that way there are no glasses of punch to get spilled.

We came to our conclusion about kids at weddings after attending a few lately. We were going to have family only, but after the last two weddings the FH nixed the kids altogether, which I was thrilled about (I am not much of a kid person outside of our own). We are having a late evening wedding anyway with lots of cocktailing, so it doesn’t work well with kids anyways.

Post # 7
9024 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

When we changed our venue to a hall that strictly allows no more than 175 people. I knew right away that we had to have adults only because we simply dont have enough seats for all the kids, we barely have enough seats for all the adults we want to invite.

Having said that, there are a few exceptions, my brothers kids are coming, Fi’s sisters kids are coming and then the kids that are actually in the wedding are also going to be at reception and thats it! and thats already 8 kids!

Post # 9
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My guestlist is immediate family only plus a few friends…meaning parents, siblings, nieces and nephews. I have 31 people on my guestlist, 11 of which is children. Since we are having a backyard wedding, we are just going to set up an area for them with lots of activities. FIs half of the list is about 99% adults….maybe 3 or 4 kids. I am sure they will be runnign around like some crazy people but as long as they don’t knock anything over, I am fine with it.

Post # 10
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Do you have a caterer? Will your caterer allow outside food? A lot won’t unless the second caterer is the cake. (some venues won’t allow more than one caterer too).


Post # 11
9024 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

View original reply
@Miss Tattoo: I know its crazy!!

Post # 12
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We decided to draw the line with children because including them (last tally was 30 kids under the age of 10) meant NOT inviting close family members in an effort to stay anywhere near our budget (we are both 23, in professional school, and paying for this wedding ourselves).  We decided to put in place the rule of no under-12 kiddos for the following reasons:

1. Neither of us really wanted small children at the wedding or reception.  Nothing against them, but we are both not close to the 30 kids, and most of them are 3rd or 4th cousins that we have only met once or twice. 

2. The budget.  Our caterer didn’t offer a discounted price per head for anyone old enough to eat table food.

3. Our wedding is a formal evening event geared toward adults.  We will be having an open bar and there will be 50+ twenty/thirty somethings who enjoy drinking a lot and getting crazy on the dance floor (including myself!).  Honestly, if I were a parent, I wouldn’t want to bring my child!

If it is important to you that children be present then I say include them.  I think the chicken finger plates are a great idea, if your venue would allow you to bring in outside food (some are funny when it comes to bringing in anything besides a wedding cake/cupcakes).  They would probably like that a lot better than what your caterer may come up with, knowing most kids! 

Post # 14
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

We came to the decision before we got engaged for several reasons. My family is huge, my dad has 9 siblings and my mom has 10, each of them has children and it goes on from there. Adding the children will add at least 35 more people, and thats not including Fiance family or our friends children.

The biggest reason is past wedding with children that did not go well. At my Future Brother-In-Law wedding a toddler cried through the first half of the ceremony. At the reception one kid went around to all the tables and tryed to take the favors while his sister proceeded to throw her silverware at the people at the next table. At the last wedding we went to several teenagers got wasted and it was a huge disaster so we only want 21 and up so we wont have to monitor such things. 

Really it depends on the couple and the type of wedding they want to have, but for us no kids is the way to go.

Post # 15
1275 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

With me it came down to costs. I realized how much I would be paying for an entire family to attend and when I got up from falling off my chair, I discussed with my fiance about cutting children. We don’t have a lot of kids in our family or friends with children so I didn’t think it would be a huge issue. 

What was an extra push for us to have a no kids policy was when we hosted a dinner party with the potential children wedding guests and saw how their parents disciplined (or didn’t). I would have thought differently if it was a close family member with children. 

We have strict numbers for our venue and I wanted to make sure we don’t have to leave out any adults in place of the kids. 

Post # 16
6350 posts
Bee Keeper

haha giving birth seven years prior kinda took that decision out of my hand.

I want it to be a true family and friends celebration so children are welcome-but only ones we know.

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