(Closed) How did you convince your SO to get you something other than a diamond?

posted 4 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Honestly, I just said this is what I want and he got it for me.  It didn’t hurt that he didn’t want to spend a ton of money on it and felt a little defeated when he saw what he would get with a diamond.  He likes that I love it, he spent less on it then he intended to even with the band thrown in, and people constantly compliment it.  No one has asked if it’s not a diamond or anything, everyone thinks it is, some people know it’s not and I don’t care if they do or not.  I think the moissanites are cool, and I love mine 🙂


Bonus: Ring Pic!


Post # 3
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I have a cushion amora gem center stone and at first, my bf said I would regret not getting a “real” diamond and he was hesitant. But when we went ring browsing and saw the quality and size of diamonds that were in our budget, he quickly changed his mind after seeing comparison videos and pictures of AGs and diamonds. He saw how beautiful the AG is and looked into the hardness and durability of the stone, and he was sold. Our budget was about half of what you’re talking about, though. 

Post # 4
2101 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I was always going to get a coloured stone. When we would look, I would always pay more attention to a coloured stone so I think it was given to him to go with a non diamond. However, he still felt it needed diamonds somewhere. As it happens I saw a ring and fell in love with it and my reaction was enough to convince him (although it has small diamonds on the band and that helped too). 

I think you should just tell your bf that as you’ll be wearing it, you want something you’re comfortable with. There might also be the need to understand why he feels he has to compete with friends or your ex. 

Post # 5
2595 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

I have a sapphire ring with diamond side stones. Honestly, it didn’t take any convincing at all. I am not big on diamonds. I don’t own any and never really cared for them, so why would one of the most important pieces of jewelry in my life be something that I never really wanted? I absolutely love sapphires. Since I have a September birthday, I always got sapphires since they are my birthstone and I have always loved them and how different cuts make them look so different. Blue has always been my favorite color. So it was natural that when my Fiance and I spoke about getting engaged, he told me he thought I should have a Sapphire and I was on board! However, coming to costs, he spent a pretty penny on my rin. Sapphires can be very expensive if you get a flawless stone. My sapphire ering has a higher value than my sisters diamond ring! So, there are multiple factors. Good luck bee!

Post # 6
1204 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I gave him a list of rings I liked. None of them were diamond. He didn’t know anything about jewelry and bought the one he thought was the coolest. lol

Post # 7
5159 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

I guess I think if you are the one wearing it, I am not sure why you need to “convince” him anyway, unless he thinks you are just saying you want it but you don’t, but that sounds more like a communication/trust thing than an issue over the stone. I have honestly never had to “convince” my life partner that I wanted something that I wanted if I was going to be the one wearing it! I can’t tell you why he feels he needs to outdo his ex or keep up with his friends. That is something you need to talk to him about as that is personal to him.

I just wanted to write that I think there is also room for compromise here. If you want a colourless stone (I assume so, since that is what you are looking at and you have not mentioned sapphires or other coloured stones) but he wants that colourless stone to be a diamond, and your only concerns here are about costs of diamonds compared to other colourless stones, have you thought about looking at buying either a loose stone or a complete ring secondhand? You need to be patient and look, but there are options out there and you can save a huge amount from retail cost…keep an eye on Loupe Troupe, Diamond Bistro, idonowidon’t, even ebay (there are a couple bees on here who have scored fantastic ebay finds, including a 1ct marquise for something like $1,000), and if you are into antique or old cuts, buying vintage, etc, you can add in secondhand retailers like Love Affair Diamonds or Jewels by Grace and numerous etsy vendors like Gold Adore, MSJewelers, Filigree Jewelers, Gatsby, etc.


Post # 8
7716 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Do you truly prefer moissanite to diamond, or is it more about the cost? If it’s a preference for the stone, then defintely stand firm here. But if it’s more just about keeping the cost down, I think you could compromise with your SO. He doesn’t need to spend $10k to get you a nice diamond. You can get a lovely stone for even half that price. 

Post # 9
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

We just discussed my preferences, honestly. He doesn’t like the white gold/white diamond look and had already decided that he liked rose gold before I tole him that was my preference. When I showed him rose gold morganite rings, he knew it was right. The only convincing was him convincing me that a flashier ring that what I kept showing him woukd look nice, and he was right! I love my ring!

Post # 10
606 posts
Busy bee

sunnierdaysahead2:  I’m currently trying to convince my girlfriend of a white topaz ring…


It’s not going so well. I think it’s stunning and gorgeous. Right now that’s what I am trying to convince her of that what matters is how much I love it and that she can upgrade it when we have more money, she’s established her career by upgrade I mean switch the topaz for a 2 ct diamond. Maybe for our 10th anniversary. Then we are both happy! She gets me a gorgeous ring I want for me and she gets pride in knowing that one day she will get me a diamond that will put others to shame (I only say that because diamond size is important to her, I’m super happy with my .15 ct promise right and a topaz engagement ring).

Try something other than a simulant maybe? I get where he is coming from in terms of it isn’t legit from the earth and that’s fine but what’s wrong with white topaz or white sapphire? They are gorgeous and legit too!!!!

Keep fighting the “something I want that isn’t a diamond” fight.

OH one last ammo for you: ask him if it worked out with you and your ex. When he says no then say “Then I guess the cost of the ring really doesn’t matter does it?”

Post # 11
1986 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I agree with lesbimarried on other natural, colorless stones. Of course I am a bit biased  I have a gorgeous natural white sapphire that I think looks amazing and cost a fraction of what the same ring with a diamond center stone would have.

Post # 12
9861 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I have a sapphire engagement ring. I didn’t really need to convince Fiance to go with a sapphire rather than a diamond, I just told him its what I have always wanted and he went along with it.

Maybe your SO doesn’t want to feel like he’s compromising on the ring by not getting a diamond just because of price. He wants to get you something you will love. I would approach it from that perspective rather than the financial aspect.

Post # 13
47 posts

We will be engaged by the summer and we are getting my ring this week. I flat out told him I did not want a diamond since I was engaged once before and I felt it was a bad luck thing in my (mind) so I decided to go with a Morganite and I am so in love it 😍 I can’t wait..Good luck bee !!!!

Post # 14
956 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I knew I didn’t want a diamond. So I told him. I have a morganite engagement ring that I love. He really had no preference on the stone though.

Post # 15
949 posts
Busy bee

sunnierdaysahead2:  I told my husband that I did not want a new diamond in my engagement ring, for ethical reasons, well before we were getting serious about getting engaged. In the end we designed my sapphire engagement ring together.

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