Post # 1
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
I’ve had all the textbook side effects of pregnancy, but now I’m experiencing something I wasn’t prepared for – ugly, rude comments and opinions and unwanted belly touching! We had a work event yesterday and I can’t tell you how many comments I got on my size, my weight gain (only 3 lbs so far, thank you very much!), my belly, and worst of all… my boobs. About 5 people went on and on about the size of my boobs in front of everyone at this work event. A drink spilled all down my dress, and when I went to wipe my chest off a girl yelled “No need to stuff your bra, ellebeerob! You’ve got plenty of hooter action going on!” across the room. Cue about 100 people stopping what they’re doing to just stare at me. Then a male coworker told me he didn’t really notice my boobs, but he did notice my face got fat. Then someone asked to see my plate to make sure I was eating all ‘healthy’ foods, saying “Be careful with the bad stuff. You’ll blow up faster than you already have.” All anybody talks to me about is the pregnancy, and 90% of it consists of comments on my body. Part of me wants to talk to my boss about it, but what can she do? I’m afraid of being retaliated against. I left the work party and sat in my office and cried.
Between that and people rubbing my belly, I’m about to lose my mind. This happens both at work and in my personal life. I told a friend last week to stop touching me (in a nice way) but she was really offended and now hasn’t spoken to me in almost a week. I CAN’T WIN! I am extremely shy and self conscious anyway. I don’t know how I’m going to handle this until next June, and I’ve heard its only worse after the baby is born. What can I do?
Post # 3
Member
9642 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
@ellebeerob: ((HUGS)) Oh, wow, what a bunch of jerks you work with. You don’t need to have to deal with that, pregnancy is challenging enough as it is. I’m so sorry!
I also did not like people touching my baby belly (why the heck do they do that???? like it’s public property or something, sheesh!!) Once I gave a strange lady the stink eye for doing it and said, “Um, I can feel that you know. You can’t just go around touching people’s stomach without permission.” I’m sure she thougth I was the bitchiest pregnant woman ever.
I don’t know what to tell you if you’re a sensitive soul to begin with, poor baby. I’m not so sensitve and to the “boob comment guy” I’d have probably said something about his obvious need to overly compensate for his little teeny-tiny needle dick by being a comedian in front of everyone, to get him back. I would have insulted him in some way regarding a small penis, but that’s me.
Try to realize that sometimes people are stupid but they probably really don’t mean to hurt your feelings. And especially with guys, learn to give back as good as you get The first time everyone laughs at him then he’ll stop picking on you. Bullies don’t like to be laughed at by the crowd they’re trying to impress.
I wish you all the best!
Post # 4
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
I’m not pregnant and don’t have any good advice for you, but I am also dreading the “strangers touching me” syndrom of pregnancy. When it happens, I am tempted to make a shirt with a big X over the belly and the words “Don’t touch!” 🙂
Hang in there! (PS – The guy’s comment about getting fat was totally uncalled for. What a jerk!)
Post # 5
Member
923 posts
Busy bee
Ugh…I haven’t told work yet, but I know it’s coming. The only other woman in the office said something the other day to someone else about how she is one of those people who will go up and rub a stranger’s pregnant belly. How is that okay and how has she not gotten slapped yet? I suspect that the day I announce at work I’ll be wearing a “Don’t touch the belly” shirt.Â
Post # 6
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Oh my god. I would lose my fcking mind. I will start slapping the hands of people who touch my (future) pregnant belly. That is a SERIOUS personal space violation. A girl I used to work with told me that I should just “deal with it,” but sorry, no, I will not “just deal with” random people (STRANGERS!!!!!) touching me.
Post # 7
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
All of that behavior is totally out of line. I’m so sorry. I certainly hope this the exception, rather than the norm. Why would they be rubbing your belly? I’m 16w and have not even the slightest sign of a bump. If someone tried to touch my stomach I would probably hit them.
Do you live in the U.S.?
Post # 8
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@ellebeerob: What the hell?! Seriously?! I want to punch these people on your behalf. *Hugs*
Post # 9
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
Wow, I can’t imagine. Not pregnant yet but actively trying. I will not be okay with random people touchign me. I’m already pretty anti-social so I won’t deal well with people touching my pregnant belly. I’ve gotten pretty good at the ‘don’t come near me’ look so i’ll just have to improve on that. ugh.
Post # 10
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
@ellebeerob: I think for starters you need this shirt and a blazer for your new work outfit…
or this one
And after that, maybe you need to have a quick, “my body is not up for discussion” line to throw out when people start going nuts. Good lord. This is a lot worse than some of the other “people are annoying about my pregnancy” threads I’ve read. This is horirble!
Post # 11
Member
931 posts
Busy bee
Are you in the US? Because in all honesty I would go directly to HR on this one. It’s a work event so people are still bound by all the relevant laws. You are protected as a pregnant woman – if they are creating a hostile environment for you, you should report it. Seriously.
Post # 12
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
A lady I work with seriously told me if I don’t let people touch my belly I am “denying them the experience of a miracle of God.” I disagree. The belly touchers should consider it a miracle of God that I don’t kick their asses after they touch me. There’s your miracle right there.
I do social work in a reproductive health/OBGYN unit of a hospital so that’s maybe why people feel like its ok to openly talk about it? But its not. It makes me feel like a disgusting fat farm animal.
Post # 13
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
@daybyday: @iRun2004: Yes I’m in the U.S. My boss isn’t really supportive of me being pregnant so I’m worried about being retaliated against by coworkers if I go to HR. I’m scared to do it but I can’t work like this either.
Post # 14
Member
818 posts
Busy bee
I’m not pregnant and don’t have any advice that hasn’t been illustrated here (definitely consider HR now or if it continues!!) But I just want to send you some HUGS and the thought that July isn’t all too far away until you have a wonderful payoff! 🙂
Post # 15
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
Oh geeze….. coworkers are the worst…. I have gotten rude comments too. They are not doing it to be malicious (they are only trying to be funny), but those words can sting. Just tell them that you would really appreciate it if they would stop. Don’t worry about them getting upset about it, I doubt that will happen especially if you asked them nicely. If it continues, you should most definitely go to HR. You are protected by law.
Post # 16
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
How about “OMG I guess ive been too busy noticing my boobs I JUST REALIZED how fat your ass has gotten!! Maybe lay off the cheese doodles from now on??”
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