- 3 years ago
- Wedding: September 2019
My fiance’s mother has put down every single decision we’ve made. From the chairs, to the food, to the groom’s wardrobe (no, I have not dared to show her my dress because she’s probably going to hate it, too!), to the lack of a bridal party, to the time of the wedding, to the flowers, to even the type of ribbons tied to the flowers…I mean everything. She tends to want to control every situation and she’s very bossy, so this was kind of to be expected, but now that we’re 8 months out she is REALLY stressing me out. I have done all of the planning myself and things are coming along really well. There are a few things left to iron out, but nothing that has to be decided right now. The big stuff is already set in stone. I’ve tried to be honest, but firm and just respond to her questions about things I haven’t decided yet with, “This is what I’m thinking, but we’re still ironing that out.” The problem is, the second I say that, she takes that to mean she can make the decision and demand what she thinks is best. I guess I could lie, but then when it doesn’t happen or it changes because it wasn’t actually set in stone, I’m sure she’ll throw a fit about that, too. My fiance says that she just likes to show off and needs this wedding to be something she can show off to their extended family. Besides the fact that my family is paying for it and she has not offered anything, it makes me angry and it’s aggravating. It feels like she does not think it’s well thought out, that I have not made good plans, and overall like it will not be good enough if it’s not what she thinks it should be (and we’re laid back people who just wanted a fun day..).
I know in my head that it does not matter. And I have attempted to not let it bother me when she puts things down (it does, of course). But it’s gotten really difficult with the questions about things I haven’t sorted out yet. Just because I haven’t made a decision on a few last minute things 8 months out doesn’t mean I’m behind or that I need someone to step in and make the decision for me. It certainly doesn’t mean this event is not well thought out. I’m a very decisive person, I’m honestly just waiting to see where we are at financially after we buy our new house in a few months. We’re already at max budget that my family generously provided me, so a few of the extras I would like will have to be decided on once the dust settles and we can see if we can add anything else. It will still be decided in plenty of time, of course.
I know, I know. I just have to put on my big girl pants and mentally give her the double finger while smiling and just moving forward with what I want. But how did you guys handle an overly opinionated Mother-In-Law during wedding planning?