(Closed) How did you deal with fading friendships DURING the wedding planning process?

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
mcate5 :  I had some friendship drama with a two women I was reconciling things with. 

Long story short, it was very emotional but I made peace with it. The drama confirmed my reason for ending both friendships several years ago. 

Hang in there and focus on the positive friendships.

Editing: I did not invite them to my wedding which caused even more drama. 

Post # 3
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Hi there. I was one of the first girls in my peer group to get married. I’ve been out of school for a few years but not enough time to have formed many other close friendships and I don’t know any coworkers well.  It has been difficult because my friendships with college friends have been fading fast (and have been for quite some time). I actually felt really sad and continue to feel sad during the planning process. I ended up inviting everyone regardless – they were an important part of my life at one point and I felt the friendships could be salvaged. Haven’t heard from most of them and it hurts but, people grow apart.

You still have quite a bit of time before your wedding – I don’t know if you have a big group of friends outside your school pals but have you thoguht about joining Bumble BFF? The only friend I’ve made post college was from there and she has been the MOST helpful person throughout the entire planning process. Even though I’ve only known her for a year and a half I am so grateful for her.

At the end of the day don’t forget you’re marrying your best friend!

Post # 4
Member
465 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I feel like we are really close to friends when we are put in a situation to make us close. For example, work and school is probably the biggest factor because we see them practically everyday for x amount of years. When you leave school and a job I think this is the true test of a friendship. Can you maintain a good relationship with someone by making the choice to make time to see them,  or just seeing them because you have to?

Yes, I’ve lost touch with lots of friends from this over the years. However, I look at it as who are my true friends now. I would rather have a few shiny quarters then a hundred pennies. 

Post # 5
Member
940 posts
Busy bee

I let them go. 

While I’ll be the first among my friends, most of my closer friends are from high school, and I’ve left that for quite some years now. Priorities change. Even if they tell me they’re super excited to be attending my wedding, I am aware that they may not show up if more important things than a HS close friend getting married get in the way. Like how my best friend agreed to go dress shopping with me but decided to ditch to help out her mom with something that wasn’t too important, but obviously that’s her priority.

Am I ok with it? Not really happy no, but the truth is I’m getting married to someone I love, and while I’d love for people I care about to care too, it isn’t the end of the world (or the friendships) if they decide that it isn’t that important to them. Technically it’s not even their business, so why should it be? 🙂 I wouldn’t really lose sleep over it.

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