(Closed) How did you deal with…

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
2778 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

If you went to Colorado to elope you wouldn’t need a JOP, you can self officiate.  Thats what we did and we are having a ceremony later.

Is it possible for you to have a Destination Wedding to Colorado and find just a few more people who would like to come to difuse the situation.  Then you would have the best of two worlds the elopement feeling and those moments.

Or you could do what we did come here go to town hall fill out the paperwork and hand it right back in the clerks office and come back and have a full blown ceremony.  Of course you should run this past your dad and mom first.  My parents don’t mind at all and are still happy to participate in our wedding ceremony.

Post # 4
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Hi there and welcome!


I just eloped recently (I posted photos on here and recaps – mountains too nonetheless!).  I eloped for my first marriage as well (courthouse, then back to work). 

I too cannot fathom putting on that event in front of people as well.  I even planned a 75 person wedding before this elopement was planned only because I thought I should experience the wedding event this time.  Well it was fun to research but there was drama with it and then the cost!  Then my father had a few months to live and we cancelled it. 

H’s parents are awesome, kind, and self sufficient.  My mom is the kind that can ruin parties, kind of like your Future Mother-In-Law. We technically invited just his parnts, because my mo told me she couldn’t fly, she was sorry, go on without her.  So she was invited, but we moved it out of the country and there’s no way she could have come, but it was OK.

However, if it were me and hearing what you’re saying – I’d just go to Telluride, invite just the parents (divorced and remarried and all that) then just see who shows up.  I know it wasn’t a great mix of people, but it is what it is.  

Let the know the time you CAN spend with them and CANNOT (we told H’s parents upfront).  Maybe they’ll decide that it’s just not enough to come all the way out there.  If they cannot, tell them you understand and will celebrate with them at a later date at a fancy dinner.  Doesn’t have to be a reception or party, just them out to dinner.

My next suggestion would be to just elope by yourselves, then celebrate with parents individually later.  You seem to want that parent/wedding experience.

With the money we saved with eloping (we made it an 11 day road trip), we can visit quite a few friends (as in fly to there state) and just celebrate with these friends individually – so several parties but intimate!  We may throw a big anniversary party, but frankly I am totally fine if we do not.

My ideal wedding would have been just immediate family who came to us for a weekend wedding vacation, but i know that is not possible with my family, so my next option (eloping) was awesome and I have no regrets!  Not a single drop of drama and the day was totally ours.



Post # 5
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would do the 30-40 person wedding, but thats probably because I’m having a 175 person wedding because I can’t imagine doing it without the walk down the aisle and all of my family and friends.

Post # 6
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

It sounds like it would be pretty heart breaking for both your mom and dad if they weren’t there on your wedding day. Yes, it’s your wedding, but after its all over, your parents will still be there, and you should try to consider their feelings. 

Post # 7
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

The Telliride plan sounds amazing. Could you possibly find a few more people to invite (like 15-20) so it diffuses the Future Mother-In-Law situation? Then you could still have the moments with your parents and hopefully they won’t be ruined by certain family members.

I know how you feel. I have been spinning my wheels too since getting engaged. And for many of the same reasons. I never really thought I’d get married so I never had any real visions of it, and family drama has been hard to plan around. So best wishes to you!

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