How did you decide between eloping or having a wedding?

posted 2 years ago in Elopement
Post # 2
892 posts
Busy bee

We haven’t, and we’re in the same boat. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Lol. Following to see the replies because it’s a hard choice!

Post # 4
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

We’re doing (did) both! We eloped and had a small courthouse ceremony and nice dinner after; we’re having a larger wedding celebration in the fall. My husband wanted to elope, and I wanted a bigger wedding. So this was our compromise. 

Post # 6
546 posts
Busy bee

I wanted to elope- my parents convinced me to have a wedding and offered to pay. About once a week I freak out about how much it’s all costing, and my Mom has to talk me off a ledge – she didn’t have a big wedding, so I think this is something she is enjoying, and if I weren’t thinking about the money, the truth is, I’d be enjoying it too. The idea is growing on me. 

FH and I can take a romantic trip any time in our lives. We can even renew our vows. 

But a wedding – that’s something that’s only going to happen once. And the more we plan and tinker with ideas and pranks and who will be there etc., the more I find myself tearing up at random moments, so grateful that we get to do this. 

It’s “just a day,” and “just a party,” I used to say – why on earth would we throw so much money away on quickly expended things. I am more of a practical, “let’s invest it,” or let’s spend it on a spectacular trip type person. 

But this is once in a lifetime. I’ll never do it again – and the planning of it has been an adventure in itself. 😉 



Post # 7
10444 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

We briefly discussed eloping but didn’t want to disappoint our family and decided we really did want our friends there so we had a smallish wedding (65 people because we have big families). Absolutely loved our wedding day and was glad we had all those people there to celebrate with us.

Though, in hindsight maybe would have put my foot down with the in-laws inviting relatives we didn’t know who literally can’t tell my husband and his brother apart despite the fact that they look nothing alike.

Oh and my parents offered to pay. I think if we had been paying ourselves we would have eloped.

Post # 8
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2021

I think FH and I are going to do a courthouse ceremony during the week with whichever immediately family can be there. And then have a get together that weekend to celebrate with our family and friends. I do not want a wedding, as we would be financially responsible.

We have priorities other than saving for a wedding. FH is okay with not having a wedding too, but he does want an actual venue for the reception whereas I want something casual like at a restaurant. So we will see what we end up choosing to do.

Post # 10
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

I wanted to elope, my husband wanted a proper wedding. We ended up having a very small, intimate 30 person wedding! It was perfect, we had only family, and our very closest friends. I know this might be hard for some, but we tend to keep our circle small, so it wasn’t a problem. We planned it in a few months, there wasn’t much fuss, and it was the best night ever! (It was a bit cold, haha, but that’s really the only negative I have from the whole evening) Plus, it only cost $7000 which was a bonus! 

Post # 11
3865 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I started to plan a big wedding and got frustrated with the process, so I started researching places to elope. I came across a B&B that I fell in love with that did small weddings, so we compromised and had a very small wedding (about 25 people) and it was the best decision we made!

Post # 12
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

I wanted to elope, but his parents were super upset at the idea.  After talking to my family, I realized how important it was to them to be there with us too.  So we are having a small wedding with just immediate family and a few close friends.  I find that I am getting excited about some of the planning. We are going to do a first look and exchange personal vows then and then just do the standard vows with the officiant at the ceremony. So I still feel like I get an elopement with just us and then a small wedding.  He’s got a huge circle of friends that are not being invited, so we are considering a BBQ or something later.

Post # 13
320 posts
Helper bee

We both wanted to elope but I am close to my parents and I know they really wanted to be there. So we compromised and did something VERY small (6 guests) and it was pretty much the day we would have planned if we’d eloped but with a few extra people. It was amazing and in the end we are glad we shared it with the people that were there.

Post # 14
7812 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I wanted to elope, but Dh wanted his grandmother to be there, and realistically my mum would have been disappointed. So we had a wedding. I still want to “elope” and renew our vows, preferably in Vegas with an Elvis impersonator.

Post # 15
5 posts

This is my second marriage and we will be eloping. My first wedding I felt so bustled to and fro and posed and so many people wanted/needed their bit of time with me that I didn’t feel I got to spend any of my day just enjoying it with my new husband. I felt like I was being herded from one tradition/photograph/speech to another that the meaning was all lost.

This time it will just be me and my future husband embarking of a journey together. There will be no pressure, no stress, no timelines – just the two of us starting our married life. We plan on a meaningful personal ceremony, picnicing together amongst the flowers, going for a walk around the beautiful rugged coastline wherever the day takes us and just taking time to enjoy the first day of the rest of our lives.

That’s why we’ve chosen to elope.

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