Post # 1
I realise that due to my age (I’m 20) and the fact we’re not officially engaged yet (two more ring payments!) means that kids are something we’re not thinking about for at least five years, but I’m just curious.
Whenever we bring up the idea of kids, SO tells me he wants two, three at a stretch. Now I’ve only recently come round to the idea of kids, after years of being adamantly against the idea of passing on my unfortunate genes to some innocent kid. I’m not good with kids, babies make me awkward, and yes, they’re lovely, but at the very maximum the most I could handle is one.
We always debate this. His side is that he’s always wanted one of each, and to experience both – my side is that if I have to carry and birth them, then I should get to decide how many times I want to go through that pain. In the end, we just laugh it off and he tells me he’ll ‘make sure our first is twins’. It’s never too serious a conversation, but it did have me thinking.
Did you and SO/FI/DH have different ideas about the size of your idea family, and if so how are you/did you agree on it?
Post # 3
Well you know- if you do have 2 kids that doesn’t guarentee you one of each.
I have one daughter from my first marriage, and DH wanted to have one that he raised from birth. So now we have 2 girls. We are considering having another. My best friend has 2 and REALLY wants a 3rd, whereas her husband is very happy with just having 2. I think it is causing some friction. But i think it is really hard to say until you have kids. You might have one and your husband might be like – “DONE!”.
Post # 4
We are not TTC but we agreed on just one child. I want to continue working after the baby and daycare cost about $1200-1400 a month. If we want to continue our lifestyle and not be tight on finances we could only do one. knowing my luck it will be twins 🙂
Post # 5
DH and I both come from 2 sibling households, so we’re planning on having at least 2 ourselves and then we’ll see how that goes and if we get the itch to add one more, we’ll decide then.
OP you can always start out with 1 and see how that works for you and then once that child is a little older and if you get the itch to do it again, decide then. Just take it as it comes I guess. Your outlook on life and kids can change a lot in 5 years.
Post # 6
DH would love a big family. Like 3 or 4 kids at a minimum. I’m an only child and as an adult, I’m sometimes sad that I don’t have siblings to share things with, so we plan on 2 kids for sure. That much is easy. Whether we actually go beyond 2 is very much up in the air at this point as I’m turning 30/having baby #1 in a couple of weeks and I want, ideally, be done having babies by 35.
Post # 7
I am known for being practical and efficient so my so-no-sentimental way of figuring out how many kids we wanted to have was this.
There are two of us (DH and me). As such, if we had two kids and there was an emergency, we can each grab a kid and be responsible for one each with undivided attention.
So if everything goes as planned, we are going to give this two tries. I’m not opposed to multiples the second round if that’s what is in His plans, but we’re only planning to get PG and finish twice.
Of course, my plan works with one child as well. So if all we can have is one, that works too.
Post # 8
Two maybe three(;
I used to want 6 but I am starting to like the idea of 2 or 3. Just depends. lol
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
I had one…. decided I never wanted to go through that experience again, and that was that. 🙂 I make it sound simple because it was for me. To be entirely honest, I’ve always loved my kid, but I didn’t like him until he was 5 or so. I adore other people’s small children, but raising one myself was no fun. Since I didn’t actually like the whole small child process and never widshed to go through it again, I made it clear to Mr. LK when we met that my uterus was out of business. He could accept that or move right along. He was cool with my decision, and we are the happy parents of one teenage boy who is pretty awesome.
Post # 10
we decided on one because kids are a lot of work and they’re expensive. we can afford to have one but two would be really pushing the finances. DH and i each have 1 sibling and neither of us are close to them so i don’t feel like having one kid would be depriving them of a sibling friendship or anything.
Post # 11
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@TopazTurtle: I think the best advice is to have one and then decide how many more you want. You may have a bad pregnancy or realize that one is plenty or three is too many. You’ve both agreed to have at least one so at least you’re on the same page about wanting kids at all.
Post # 12
I will have two and only two. I feel we should replace ourselves in the next generation and then one of us will get fixed!
Post # 13
I’m 38 and Fiance is 37. We’re currently TTC. We want one for sure and will take some lengths to achieve that. After that one, we’ll stay “trying” and see what happens. If we get another, great! If not, that’s cool too.
Post # 14
@TopazTurtle: we won’t start TTC for at least another year, but we both agree that we only want one. I do want a baby with Fiance, but have never, ever wanted more than one. We both feel that only having one will allow us to be parents, but still enjoy our identities as man and wife. Maybe other bees feel differently, but I strongly believe that once you have more than one kid, you’re only ever “Mommy” (or at least 99.9% of the time), whereas if we only have one, we won’t be completely limited to our role as parents.
Post # 15
Honestly, we still have decided. We have 1 on the way.
When we first met years ago I wasnt sure I wanted kids, DH wanted 5. As we got more serious he realized how much work and how expensive kids actually were and then he wasnt sure either.
Then one day we decided to have a kid. We have only committed to one. We would like our baby to have a sibling, but honestly I am not sure if we will or not. It will probably be decided the way we decided this one. One day one of us will say “I think we should try for #2” and then we will discuss it.
Post # 16
I’m currently 26 weeks pregnant with our first child, and we plan on having another child in the future. So two total. I just knew I didn’t want to have only one child, and DH definitely doesn’t want anymore than 2.
Not sure if this makes any difference, but both DH and I come from 2 sibling households.