How did you decide the length of your engagement?

posted 10 months ago in Logistics
Post # 2
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

We knew we wanted to have an outdoor wedding when it wasn’t swealtering, and got engaged in May. So, we were engaged about a year and a month (June wedding). We also scheduled around when we wanted to honeymoon (again weather related). So, I guess we were mostly driven by weather. Ha. Congratulations. 

Post # 3
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

We sent our save the dates at 16 months.

Half our family is travelling (and travelling in Aus is SO expensive), so we wanted to give plenty of time to get their ducks in a row

We also wanted a particular venue, and for the food/wine package we wanted it would have been out of our price range in peak season, so we’re having it on the 31st of August in winter. Well, last day of winter! A heap of people had the same idea as us, and the date booked fast like hotcakes.

Actual invites will be sent in April/May this year.

Post # 4
4036 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

We knew we wanted to get married on the Winter Solstice. We got engaged in July so it was either a 5 month engagement or a 17 month engagement. We didn’t want anything big or elaborate, so we went with 5 months. It was plenty of time to put together a beautiful, fun day. 

Post # 5
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2020 - Breckenridge, CO

We want a winter wedding and since we got engaged in the winter we just decided to plan for the following winter. So our engagement will end up being about 13 months! 

Post # 6
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - Summer Camp!

I’m finishing up grad school, so I didn’t want to worry about adjusting to my first job and studying for boards when planning a wedding. Plus we wanted to save up/give people enough time to travel. May 2020 could have worked, but we feel in love with our venue, and it didn’t have May availability… Plus the rush of rain was a bit lower in September. We were originally goingh to have around a year long engagement, but it ended up turning into over 1.5 years. Oh well. 

Post # 7
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - .

We got engaged late July and knew that we wanted a fall wedding. We didn’t want to rush or wait two years, so we decided on being engaged for just over a year before getting married. When it came to picking the exact date we went off of my cycle lol I didn’t want to be on my period! Too risky with my white dress, and I’d be too crampy to want to do much of anything.

Post # 8
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2020 - Clarksville, VA

We got engaged almost a year ago. I’ve always wanted a spring wedding and we knew we couldn’t afford to get married this year. So a 2+ year engagement was the best option financially. 

Post # 9
632 posts
Busy bee

It’s going to depend a lot on the type of wedding you want, how many of your guests need to make travel accomidations and what they would be, also the area you live in/are having the wedding and how far out things get booked. 

We budgeted for the wedding before the proposal. Once things were squared away I told me I would like 6months-1 year to plan the wedding we wanted. He proposed May 2018 and we’re getting married March 2019 so we had 10 months. 

ETA: We found a beautiful venue with great prices and picked one of their available dates.

Post # 10
2911 posts
Sugar bee

My first engagement was exactly one year from the day he proposed to the day we said “I do.”  It was enough time, could have probably planned it in about 6 months, but was excited and got wrapped up in details right away.  

This time around we wanted to make sure we were on the same page before we cohabitated, so we bought the ring a year ago, he made the proposal official in June, 2018 and we’ve decided to get married in July/August 2020.  We aren’t in a big rush and this year is pretty busy with other events.  So it’s over a 2 year engagement.


Post # 11
1617 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

We got engaged in the spring and wanted to be married in summer because I’m a teacher so I’d have time for a honeymoon. We didn’t want to wait over a year, so we just went for it. We’d been together 6 years, already had a house and dog so didn’t really matter. 

Post # 12
148 posts
Blushing bee

We got engaged in August 2018 and wanted to be married immediately but we decided to marry in the summer of 2019. This gave me enough time to have a dress made and to pick a venue. We chose May because it is beautiful month and it’s the beginning of summer hopefully we don’t have to deal with the summer vacation crush. So nine months from the proposal to the wedding day.

Post # 13
534 posts
Busy bee

I knew we needed at least a year to plan the wedding both for planning reasons and to be able to save and afford it.

Since we were engaged in December and I knew i wanted a summer wedding, 6 months wasnts long enough so it automatically turned into 1.5 year engagement!

Post # 14
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

sciencefig :  The “official” engagement duration wasn’t really planned. Right from when we started dating, we had a tentative timeline for marriage and had plans to get married during a certain month because travel will be easier during that time both for us and for others. 

Post # 15
4655 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

sciencefig :  it was really important to me that we had a short engagement (although I now appreciate why people wait as it was super stressful) and I wanted to get married in fall because I love the light.

I hated the idea of being a fiancee and I avoided that term throughout. For me engagement is a stepping stone to marriage so nothing “changed” until the wedding when we made our commitment to each other. I know some people recognise engagement socially but, in the UK at least, it isn’t a legally recognised marital status. We’d made a decision to get married and, for us, there was no reason to wait. Ours was 9 months, announced 6 months out.

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