How did you decide the length of your engagement?

posted 2 years ago in Logistics
Post # 16
28 posts
  • Wedding: August 2018

We got engaged in October and we were both 23 at the time.

We wanted a summer wedding and didn’t want to feel rushed planning it, and also felt we’re too young to get married at 24 (although 25 isn’t that much of a differece haha), so our engagement was 22 months. 

Post # 17
1222 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

Ours was 10 months. We didn’t want a long engagement, and we already had the money. When we picked our venue, they suggested a date, and it seemed like it was long enough to get everything else sorted but not wait too long, so we went for it.

Post # 18
1054 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I really wanted as short an engagement as possible. Firstly because we didn’t live together before marriage, and also I was engaged once before and it broke down before the wedding (so I associated being engaged with a lot of emotional stress).

We asked our VIPs what dates they couldn’t make for the whole year. Between us all, particularly since one key family member travels a lot for work, that only left us with two possible Saturdays all year (one in March, one in Sept)! We wanted a Saturday so as many people could come as possible. Our venue was available on both days, so we chose the one in Sept as my Fi thought March would have been too rushed (only 5 months) and Sept has nicer weather.

We were engaged for 11 months, which was still longer than I’d hoped for, but in the end I loved being engaged and it was a good length of time. It enabled us to also buy a house before we got married.

Post # 19
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

We’re paying for the whole thing ourselves, so we did a bit of research into local venues etc, to get an idea of costs and we Went to a few wedding fayres to meet suppliers and get rough ideas for costs for everything else. We then worked out what we could cut back on and what we could comfortably afford to save, because neither of us saw the point of not being able to enjoy life just to save for one day. Then we worked out how long it would take us to save for the amount we had worked out. It will be roughly 4 years in total, we’ve been engaged for  just less than a year currently.

Post # 20
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

We decided first that we want a summer wedding in 2020, then working back from that I told SO that we will need at least 15 months to plan as venues etc get booked up a year in advance. He said he will propose by April to give us enough time planning time smile

Post # 21
222 posts
Helper bee

My SO thinks 6 months is a very long engagement. He hasn’t a clue about booking venues and planning! 

Post # 22
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Got engaged end of October 2016.  Wanted to graduate grad school, have at least a year to plan, and a spring wedding.  We decided May or June 2018, but ultimately June so kids were out of school.

Post # 23
1025 posts
Bumble bee

We had been talking about marriage and then kind of wedding we would want. When I suggested a surprise wedding, DH was all over that. Then I suggested my 40th bday as the perfect date for it, which he also agreed was perfect…it was 9 months from the day we were having the conversation. DH said we needed to get started planning, so he proposed then and there. 

Post # 24
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

View original reply
sciencefig :  My husband didn’t want an engagement longer than a year. We also both wanted an outdoor ceremony. That combined with weather limitations to avoid hurricane season and the oppressive summer heat  (we live in Florida) left us with the choices of November through March. We ended up going with November resulting in a 9 month long engagement. We then started pricing out venues in the area. Once we selected our venue, we asked for their availability for the first two weekends in November. 

So timeline was: Engaged in February –> booked venue in May (took this long as we were haggling over how large/small we wanted our wedding to be) –> Married in November

Post # 25
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

We aren’t engaged yet, but he has the ring and I know it’s coming soon. We both want a short engagement (second marriage for both), so we’ve already booked our venue for this summer.

Post # 26
1349 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

We knew we didn’t really have time to pussyfoot around because I really don’t want to start having kids too late (I’ll be 32 when we get married).  So we decided on a season that we liked, and then just picked a date that worked out within that season of the next year.  Technically we’ll have an engagement under a year long (but we started planning a little earlier).

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