(Closed) How did you decide to elope?

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@his chippymunk:  I did have a somewhat small wedding planned (immediate family and close friends) for July in Jackson Hole.  All of our family live in different time zones, it wouldn’t be fair to make one side do all the travelling.  Then my father was given a few months to live and it was pretty much the same time as when the wedding would have been.  We cancelled it.

However, I had a lot of family drama and guilt (about spending the money to come to Jackson) from my side so it was not an easy road.  My mother has the inability to show any happiness for any other person.  I enjoyed the planning, we had the money for a wedding, but my family created a lot of stress for me.  I am sad and both relieved we didn’t go through with the wedding.

Now after seeing how hard it would have been to have a wedding with guests, we’ll just elope and make it easier for all.  I don’t think I’ll ever plan a wedding with guests again.  I eloped the first time I was married, so kind of thought I should get the wedding experience (first marriage for my FI), but not at that stressful sanity price.  Thankfully my Fiance is so great and is up for a wedding or eloping with equal enthusiasm!

 

Post # 5
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I can see your hesitance of planning a wedding based on promise of money, and you can see this person doesn’t have that kind of money.  I don’t think parents should take a financial hit on themselves (house, retirement, etc) to fund a wedding.  I have heard plenty of sad stories about weddings not happening or going into debt because a parent didn’t follow through.  So unless she writes you a check for the lump sum, I’d also not bank on this money.

I don’t have the family pressure, so maybe someone else can weigh in.  How much of a wedding could you afford if just you and your Fiance hosted it? 

Celebration parties after elopements are generally (not always) more casual – like there is less pressure or something.   So two home town BBQs could be cheaper than one wedding reception – just depends on the caliber of the party.  It could even be a BBQ at a state park where all the tables are provided.  Also some like to have the ceremony alone or with close family as it is quite the personal moment in one’s life. 

Aw, thank you.  I have made a pretty good life for myself, so luckily the family issues are balanced out by my happy life!  LOL 

At the moment we will elope on a trip after my dad has passed.  I think he may pass this summer, so I want to focus (my energy and money) on going home often.  The elopement we picture is not a last minute thing.  It’s going to require some preplanning, but we cannot even do that at the moment as we are unsure of the other events.

Post # 7
Member
1643 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Mine was simple – my Fiance didn’t want a big wedding, he also doesn’t want to tell his dad (definately not before, probably not immediately after )  So it boiled down to either go away or not get married.  So it was a no brainer really!!

We were planning to go and visit our friend in NYC this year anyway, so it ties the two into one perfect combo!  There are going to be about 16 of us

Post # 8
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@his chippymunk:  What about an intimate wedding with your moms as the witnesses?  Or even a few more close people?

 

You could get your $5000 photographer and then take the small wedding out to dinner for the remaining $2000 where they take care of all the details for you?

 

http://www.intimateweddings.com

 

 

Post # 10
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We eloped. Something I would have never envisioned for myself… but ended up doing… and absolutely loved every minute of it! It was spontaneous, fun and oh so romantic. And yes, I’d (we’d) do it all over again!

We started planning in January for a summer wedding, but the venue we wanted was fully booked and there was not enough notice to bring in our family and friends, so we decided to elope instead. Took the helicopters to the mountains with the pastor, his wife, a photographer and a videographer. T’was the best time of our lives.

We are currently planning a summer celebration to reaffirm our vows and party with our family and friends, and I tell you, I’m not liking the drama. Most days I just want to elope all over again. 🙂

 

 

 

Post # 11
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@his chippymunk:  Have you brought up the idea (the B&B) to her at all yet?  It sounds lovely!

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