How did you decide what ring you wanted?

posted 5 months ago in Rings
Post # 30
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

My partner told me to pick a ring and it was about 15 months till I actually decided what I wanted, so I can relate to the decision being tough.

First thing I decided was that I wanted a moissanite, I’d known this for years. Having a diamond because of it being a diamond was a marketing ploy I was never interested in, plus I wanted a bigger stone as I have bigger hands so knew I could afford more with moissanite. I wanted a colourless stone purely because I wear a LOT of colour in my clothes and wanted it to match everything.

Second thing I decided was that I wanted a low profile bezel. I came to this decision because I am clumsy, anxious and not used to wearing rings. So I figured a bezel would alleviate concerns as the stone would be very secure and if it was low profile I wouldn’t have to worry about bashing it.

I then decided I wanted an asscher or emerald cut stone, as I love wearing stripes and these cuts look stripey to me, so they were just generally up my street.

I ultimately chose asscher as I felt an emerald cut was a bit too conventionally ‘elegant’ for me, I am not an elegant person.

Then I decided on kite setting because I just don’t like the way square stones look as a square.

I always knew I wanted a white metal, but became disinterested in white gold as soon as I learnt it usually needs replating. I need low maintenance, so thought I wanted platinum. That was until I discovered that palladium is virtually the same as platinum but a fraction of the price AND weight.

The setting I decided on was inspired by a MoissaniteCo ring that is a very simple bezel with an open basket, as I knew I wanted to be able to see the side of the stone because it looks cool and because it lets in more light. This was important to me because asscher cuts don’t glitter/sparkle in the same way as other stones, and a full bezel prohibts some light from entering and can inhibit sparkle. So I wanted to increase the chances of it flashing as much as possible, given the stone and setting.

The most difficult decision was stone size. I ideally wanted 7mm, but the company who made my ring only use Charles and Colvard stones, which come in either 6.5mm or 8mm. I went with 8mm after much deliberation. I am pleased I went with this rather than 6.5mm, but ultimately I still think 7mm would have been absolutely perfect, as the bezel does add some coverage. However as I’m not trying to pass my ring off as a diamond it doesn’t bother me that it is clearly larger than what we could have chosen had it been a diamond.

Lastly, I didn’t try on any rings bar some costume jewellery ones in shops which confirmed I wanted solitaire. I did however order some 8mm asscher earrings from Amazon for about £20 to double check I was happy with the size.

Sorry for the long post, but I think that covers all the steps and thought processes I went through to decide.



Post # 31
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

We just went shopping, had a look round the jewellery shops, and I saw this one and liked it. It fit perfectly, so I wore it right out of the shop.

I did zero research beforehand. I was fairly certain I wanted a colourful stone, and green is my favourite colour, so I was drawn to this one. I was totally open in terms of style, cut, metal, etc.

Excuse the dullness of the photo, the ring sparkles in real life but the lighting in my office isn’t great!

Post # 32
62 posts
Worker bee

I did a lot of research online, but I’m way into research, lol. I looked at a ton of different designers websites, hung out on the forums here, etc. But ultimately, I think the most iimportant thing for me was going in person to multiple jewelry stores to actually see and try on the rings. You get a feel for what looks “good” on your hand and what you really want.

My vision definitely changed over time. At first I thought I wanted a princess cut stone, but as I read about the diamonds, I decided I wanted a round brilliant because of the sparkle and because of how classic (I think) they look. Another thing that evolved for me was wanting 6 prongs versus 4 prongs. But my overall idea didn’t change much – I wanted it to be somewhat delicate with side stones.

For the stone, I knew I wanted a white stone, so we looked at moissanite and diamonds. I really wanted to like the moissanite because of how much more reasonably priced they are, but I didn’t like the extra sparkle or knowing that it wasn’t a diamond, as superficial as that sounds, so we went with a diamond. As far as stone size, our jeweler actually convinced us to get a larger stone because of shrinkage, and I’m glad we did. We had initially though 1.5ct, but he had a beautiful 2ct that was in our price range so we bought that. IMO, the only way to choose how large you want to go is to see it on your hand.

Sorry for the novel, hope it’s helpful! Here’s a CAD of my ring because the pictures I take just don’t seem to do it justice 🙂


Post # 34
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019 - Canadian Rockies

I looked online for maybe.. a month? (He proposed with a “stand-in” ring.) I knew I wanted a sapphire – it’s my birthstone. I had to decide what was important to me, in size, clarity, cost, etc. I kept coming back to the same one online. My ring ended up being what I had hoped 🙂

Post # 36
12 posts

My story is so far removed from everyone else’s, though I completely admire the thought and work that went into finding a ring you loved! I accidenally stumbled upon a designer while looking for regular stacking rings; my FH started looking on her site and casually mentioned she primarily designed engagement rings. We both scrolled through and landed on the same suite we loved. It was unique and elegant. And then we never discussed it again. I fretted for a while after that that maybe I wanted an oval, should I have said I like a classic diamond rather than a colored diamond, etc. etc. – but in the end, I got a modified version of that first suite we saw. FH had gone into the store and looked at other options in person, but loved that one the most! 

Post # 37
115 posts
Blushing bee

I spent too much time on Etsy, Pinterest, Stuller settings, and many more to get an idea of what I liked. I found that brilliantearth has the option (if you’re on mobile) to snap a picture of your hand and view their rings on your finger (rough photoshop but still). I loved that because the one trip we took to a jeweler was a horrid experience and I refused to go back haha. I ended up having my ring custom made in China (StarsGem) and used Kay’s website to design the ring that I wanted, since I noticed it had the components that I wanted. Their design tool is fairly limited, but I wanted a simple ring so it worked for me. I’m so in love with it, and we got to have it made exactly to our specifications.

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Post # 38
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - City, State

I always thought I’d want a princess cut. That’s what most of the younger women in my family have. I went and tried some rings on & actually hated the way princess cut looked on my finger. Same for pear, oval, & cushion. The one I truly felt most comfortable with was a round stone. So I just told my husband, I just want the center stone to be round, so he got me a 1ct equivalent round moissy solitaire. I wear it with a plain white gold band every now & then, but usually I wear my wrap with it to dress it up a bit. 

Post # 39
297 posts
Helper bee

rdtobee :  Honestly it was based on the strongest emotion I felt looking at rings other women were wearing. I knew I liked the classic solitaire and also round trilogy rings, but I always admired the simple Tiffany style solitaire the most and that is what we went with. We chose a 2ct moissaite OEC set in white gold and it’s perfect for me.

Post # 40
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2020 - Austin, TX

For me I found that I kept coming back to the same one no matter how many others I thought I really liked. I had a whole wish list full of rings at one point! I loved that it looked classic but unique and kinda vintage at the same time. It was ultimately up to Fiance and Im glad he picked the one I always went back to. 

Rose gold milgrain bezel with micropave side diamonds. The gallery or whatever it is called is my favorite part!




Post # 41
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2020 - North Carolina

My FH and I had an old fashioned type of engagement. We had spoken about marriage and the future but never actually making plans or anything. We had talked about the type of ring I would want if we ever got engaged but it wasn’t even a serious conversation at the time (or so I thought). He surprised me when he proposed on River Street in Savannah, GA. I didn’t get to choose my ring but he knew exactly what I wanted and it was perfect. I also loved that I had no idea it was coming. It made it even more special. He did, however, ask my opinion on the ring later on and told me that we could exchange it for something more preferable whenever I wanted to. But honestly, I would’ve chosen this exact ring if it was up to me from the beginning.

Post # 42
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2020 - North Carolina

princessmiaofgenovia :  You’re ring is so different from what I’ve seen on the Bee. It’s gorgeous!

Post # 43
585 posts
Busy bee

I looked at a lot of instagram pages, and honestly there are a lot of things that I really like. The only thing I was really set on was a plain band either solitaire or three stone, because I was worried about wear and tear on micropave or small side stones. 

We went and tried them on, which to be honest was not that helpful for me because I have lage hands (size 8.75 ering) and if you are larger than a 7.5-8, most storefronts will apparently not have anything that even remotely fits. Plus for me, what a lot of stores carry more of (right now) is halos and pave stones, which were both things that I didn’t personally want. 

After that I put together a google doc with links to half a dozen ring styles I really liked, along with a couple of requests (yellow gold, please ask for it to be set as low as possible and size) gave it to my SO and left him with it. 

Post # 44
39 posts

I let my fiancé pick it out. All I told him what the type of cut I wanted the main diamond to be. It’s not like what I would have picked, but I’m 100% in love with it and would be devasted if I ever lost it. He put so much thought and time into choosing it, so I feel like it’s just irreplaceable. It’s also much better quality and a way bigger stone than anything I was considering! 

Post # 45
17 posts
  • Wedding: October 2020

I knew I was picky and didn’t like the “normal” engagement rings, so I looked for a long time online until I found several designers that were more outside the box. I think I’m definitely in the minority because I didn’t go anywhere to try on rings. My favorite designer is online only, so I picked about 5 styles I liked and sent them to my fiancé so that he could pick and I would still be surprised. Absolutely in love with the ring I got!

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