(Closed) How did you decide which friends or acquaintances to invite to wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

 DH and I only had room for 110 people at our venue, and 60 of those were immediate family. 10 were parents friends (5 couples each), so that left us with 40 friends (20 + guests), which really narrowed down to 10 friends each. This made it EXTREMELY easy to choose who was invited and who wasn’t. I’m grateful we had a small venue, and that we could spend our day with the people who truly mattered in our lives. I think if we had a bigger venue, it would have been much more difficult because we would have had to make decisions about those “borderline” friends.

In the end, I think I would go with the rule “in 20 years when I look at my wedding photos, do I think I will still be friends with these people”? If your heart tells you no, now may be a good time to start cutting that cord.

Post # 4
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I read in a bridal magazine that if you have not spoke/emailed/texted or had any other form of contact with the acquaintances then inviting them to your very special day would be somewhat irrelevant. I scrolled through my phone contacts and true enough it made me realize and help who would matter to me & inviting them would not make or break the friendship, Did that make sense? 😉

Post # 5
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I moved to another state, so keeping in contact with people hasn’t always been easy. I am going to do a cut-off date kind of thing. If I have talked to a friend within the past 2 years they will be invited.

Post # 6
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I didn’t invite many old friends to my wedding. I hadn’t kept in touch that well since college and I felt rude inviting them (like it was a gift grab?).

Anyways, now I wish I had as I know some of them were dissapointed to not be a part of my special day.

It’s a hard decision!

Post # 7
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’ve been agonizing over our spreadsheet for a while. I have no idea. 🙁

Post # 8
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

To piggy back off gemini2loveme, do you have a venue or budget yet?  Both can be very restrictive in some cases.  I think that you should only invite people that you really WANT there… if you think it’d be nice to have more distant friends come and you can afford it AND the venue fits them GO FOR IT! 

Post # 9
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If they are in town friends that you don’t see, easy, don’t invite.  It’s tricker when it’s out of town friends, because it’s harder to keep up with them regularly when you don’t see them.

I will be inviting a friend from law school and his wife, because we were really close in law school.  If he lived closer, we’d still see each other frequently.  I’ve flown out once to visit him, 3 years ago.  If I’m in his area, I wouldn’t leave w/o making plans to see him.  So maybe that’s one way to think about it: Would it be unthinkable to be in the area and not see them?  Or, are they the friend you can pick up again with years later no problem?  Do you see yourself friends in 20 years?

Post # 10
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

It is really hard to draw the line.  I guess I used the ‘hung out with in the last 6 months’ rule for most people since it seemed like a good rule of thumb.  However, I made a few exceptions for some of my friends that are just FUN to be around!  I want to make sure that there are people out there willing to let loose!

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