Post # 1
Tell me about your experience. How did you decide to TTC? Were there any considerations that you weighed heavily? (Upcoming trip, occasion, etc.)
Were there any reasons to move up TTC?
Just all around curious.
Post # 2
My husband and I wanted to be married and own our home before even considering it. Also, I’m 8 years younger than him and wanted to finish college and start my career which I did and am now two years in. I wanted to start TTC this year and he initially agreed but then changed his mind and we decided for next year after he gets a raise at work. So for us it was mostly and is mostly about having stability that neither of us had growing up. I’m ready now but I was okay with compromising for another year. We are financially in a place where we could right now so that’s all that matters now.
Post # 3
DoubleD : makes total sense! Thanks for sharing. My husband is also 8 years older and has one daughter already, so I get the differences.
Post # 4
Before we got married I was going through treatment to help me ovulate, mostly for my own overall health, but it made us think a lot about TTC plans and we decided with my fertility issues that we didn’t want to wait in case it took a long time. That was our biggest consideration, though we did think about financial security and career plans as well.
Post # 5
My husband and I just decided to start trying to conceive earlier than we had actually planned to. We were thinking about trying to start conceiving next year at the earliest because he’d be in the second year of his job contract, and I’d have a year to do whatever I’d like before dedicating our lives to our family. We had actually been turning down vacations that were in zika areas and other things like that to prepare. If you had asked me a month ago if we were ready to actively try to conceive, it wouldn’t have been something that was fully on the table or at least something met with a bit of hesitancy or anxiety. We recently had a false positive that we are still trying to figure out due to some odd presentations. During that time, we realized that we weren’t terribly worried about becoming parents and starting this next chapter like we thought we’d be. We realized that we are fortunate enough to be financially stable, we’ve never felt more stable, and we just feel really prepared. When I took a second pregnancy test, it was negative. I am still waiting on an appointment with a new doctor (with minor guidance from my husband who is also a doctor) to figure out what is going on with my 50 day cycle with a false positive and a negative test/establish care in a new area. Since realizing that this was probably a false alarm, we have found ourselves actually feeling really sad that I am not pregnant. So, we have decided, once we have everything sorted out, to start seriously trying to conceive.
Post # 6
piper628 : well. We decided it was time when we had checked off all the boxes we had (loads of traveling, finished advanced degrees, house and cars purchased, some good savings, experience at jobs) and there was really no solid good reason to keep waiting except for fear. Fear of loosing sleep, money, free time, my body…
Getting my IUD out on Thursday. Starting the TTC journey here soon!
Post # 7
It wasn’t really on either of our minds consciously (as in we weren’t actively discussing postponing TTC) but what kept it off our minds was that our life has been in flux/instable since our wedding. I was graduating my PhD and transitioning out of academia, we were discussing moving continents but didn’t know *when* that move would be, Husband knew he wanted to transition jobs but didn’t know to what or when — so it didn’t seem like the right time to throw a huge life altering event into the mix 🙂
Now I’m settled in a new job, our continental move is planned and fast approaching, and Husband is changing jobs with the move (while I’m staying with my company so have that stability in benefits and generous income).
I think for us the catalyst was seeing some friends with young kids and realizing that we’re more excited about having one of our own than we are scared of the lack of sleep, additional stress, additional costs, etc. At the same time we re-evaluated our situation and felt things were settling down enough that we’re comfortable TTCing. Had my IUD taken out last week and are now taking the NTNP approach.
With the move happening in the next ~3 months and Husband job-hunting once we move we’re in a position where we’re not worried about getting pregnant now but from a stability point of view having a couple extra months would probably make life easier. So we’re not doing full on TTC until Husband starts a new job (assuming I’m not yet pregnant at that point).
Post # 8
We wanted to own a house in a specific neighborhood, for the great schools. We bought it in May. Also wanted to have a specific number in the bank. Also accomplished that.
We originally had planned to TTC starting Nov/Dec of this year..but since we did what we wanted to, D H spontaneously decided we could not try/not prevent last month! (I was totally cool with it as I have major baby fever). We also sort of pushed it up because every single one of our friends is having trouble TTC and is taking between 8-12 months to conceive. My cousin just took 3.5 years! So we expected it to take awhile. Wrong. I’m 5 weeks pregnant lol but we are SO SO excited!
Post # 9
We started ttc after 3 – 4 years of marriage. I had baby fever for years but I needed to take care of some health issues and do something about my lack of periods before we could start ttc. My husband had also been in school for what seemed like forever to be a pilot. He finished his program, but ended up taking a job in another field. My doctor advised me to take birth control pills for 6 months to regulate my cycles. I got pregnant as soon as I stopped the BCPs, but sadly miscarried at 12 weeks. I relocated with a new job and had to put off TTC for 1 year. As soon as I moved back to the area, we started ttc again with the help of an infertility specialist. I got pregnant again, but miscarried at 12 weeks for a second time. I took a break from actively trying, but we weren’t preventing either. I got pregnant naturally 6 months later which is my oldest daughter.
What lead us to ultimately know we were ready to start ttc was mostly the fact that I really wanted a baby. My husband was a little less sure but he was willing to make the leap for me. We owned a small house outright and could live on my husband’s income. It was important for me to be able to stay home with my baby for at least a couple of years.
My 2nd daughter was a complete surprise, so no planning there. I got an IUD placed after her and I started REALLY wanting baby #3 about 5 years later. It took my husband about a year to agree. He wanted to make sure we were financially secure enough to add a 3rd child to the mix. Nothing actually changed for us. He just grew confident that the timing was right. I would say our decision was mainly based on our age. I was almost 36 and he was 43. I knew that we where fast approaching now or never. It took us a year and several cycles of infertility meds to get pregnant. I was 37 when my youngest was born. My older girls were 8 and 11. We have all girls and would really love to try again for a boy. Unfortunately, we ran out of time. I often wish we would have had my youngest a few years earlier. Ultimately I feel lucky that we have 3 amazing and beautiful girls, especially since we both have infertility issues. I would love 4, but I’m happy that I got 3.
Post # 10
I agree with first PP. We discussed the topic before engagement when we had the talk about possible kids. My Fiance grew up financially less fortunate in a big family, so he’s very concerned about financial stability. For me I felt that kids are a big neverending responsibility so I definitely would want to be done with school and earning regular salary before TTC.
We’re also looking to buy a place of our own after the wedding so it would be about 4 years before TTC.
Post # 11
We were 31/36 when we got married so knew we wanted to TTC before too long as we ideally want 2 or 3 kids. Originally we planned to start trying one year after our wedding, but wound up moving the timeline up a bit and started about five months after the wedding. That was cause I came off the pill and noticed my cycles were on the short side, and immediately got angsty about my fertility. Also, my mom struggled with infertility, which made me worried I had inherited her issue. So I talked to dh about my concerns maybe 3 months after the wedding, told him I kinda wanted to get the ball rolling sooner rather than later, but left it up to him as to when that would be. Then two months later he decided he was ready and we went for it.
I think we did hold off maybe one month after we were both technically ready due to a timing issue – if I had gotten pregnant that first month I would have been due right when dh had an important out of state work trip, so we wanted to avoid that. But once we started trying, we went for it every month regardless of trips or other things on the calendar that a potential due date would have messed with.
Post # 12
We are both turning 29 in a few weeks (and we would both love a baby before 30), and last year I got an amazing unionized job that has amazing health benefits and salery increases. Because of my new job, we feel very secure financially and my husband is going back to grad school so he can pursue a similar job in a couple of years as more work is opening up in our city.
We live rent free right now at my parents house that they barely use (they are retired and have a cottage and travel lots) so although we do not own a home yet, we feel very secure and have room for a little one.
Because my husband will be in school next year, I am hoping have our first in the spring so he will be off on his summer break for a few months while I am on maternity leave. I know you can’t time these things but it would be amazing so this month we are officially TTC. 😀
Also, when we do have a baby, it will be the first grandchild for both sides which we are so excited about 🙂
Post # 13
redheadbride2016 : My Darling Husband is starting his second Master’s (that will roll into a Doctorate). So, I’m in the same boat as you when it comes to school. It’s difficult to have a perfect time, but I do like reading everyone’s stories and thought process.
Post # 14
Thanks for all your stories!
We are not TTC yet, but we are in the middle of discussing it. Between his Master’s/Doc program just starting and me now wanting a new job that pays more, I have a feeling we may push our timeline. We were discussing next year. But, I want to be sure I can have a solid maternity leave and that we are financially stable enough (that’s never perfect, but we can at least feel comfortable). We signed a lease for one more year, and after that, we will be looking for a place with an additional bedroom. (We will definitely not be able to buy in the city of Chicago. That’s a luxury that we don’t have.)
Hopefully, things will come together in the next year or so and we can still stay on the timeline. But, I may be reconsidering it may not be best for us. We will see.
Post # 15
piper628 : I like reading it too! We have been saving lots this past year because where we live my salery will still be good but not great when I am on maternity leave (here in Canada we get a full year). My employer only tops up my pay for the first 8 weeks and then the rest of the year I calculated I will get about 65% of my usual salery from the government maternity leave. It is great though because my job is secure for when I go back and we have saved enough for DH’s tuition without dipping into our home savings/investments. I feel like I have been gradually planning this whole year lol so now I hope everything work out! 🙂