Post # 1
How did you discuss the budget with your family? Or did you just pay for the wedding by yourselves?
Both of our families want to dive deep into planning, but we can’t move forward until we know what the budget is. His family and my family have both said they want to contribute, but we don’t know exactly how much.
I feel so tacky even having this conversation, but we are going to look at venues soon and I don’t want to waste anyone’s time if we can’t afford to have our wedding at these places.
If you have any suggestions for how to tactfully discuss this, please share. Thank you!
Post # 3
We knew from the beginning that we were paying for our wedding. So we just discussed our budget amongst ourselves. My parent’s ended up paying for my wedding dress and alterations as a wedding present and my husband’s parents bought the wedding cake as a wedding present. That helped us a lot and allowed some of our money to be freed up to do other things that we had previously thought we could not do.
Post # 4
We just planned/assumed we’d pay for it ourselves. My parents stepped in about 1-2 months after we got engaged and offered a set dollar amount to be used however we wanted for the wedding, and we added that to our budget.
Post # 5
I knew what my parents paid for my sister’s wedding, so I started with that point and created a budget and then went over it with him to make sure he felt good about it before we booked any vendors. Now that I have a budget to work off of, I just negotiate everything and he pays the deposits. I keep them involved and if anything is over budget I clear it with them first. There are some things that I am paying for to keep his portion where he wants it.
I would suggest you sit down with both sets of parents and explain that in order to proceed with planning you need to know how much they plan to contribute to the wedding. I don’t think its tacky or bad or anything to be up front about it. No one is under the impression that a wedding is free these days.
Post # 6
Both of our parents came out and said we will give you X amount of money. BUT if they said they wanted to contribute then I would talk to them maybe at dinner one night and say something along the lines of I know you have previously mentioned to us about contributing to the wedding and we are beginning to work on a budget, and needed to know how much so you had an idea of what youre working with. Your other option is, you can go with the idea that you are going to pay yourselves and make your budget based on that and then whatever they give you they give you.
Post # 7
FH and I are paying for our wedding, I think it’s funny how we decided on a budget. My FH spit out 4k and he had about 3k in the bank and I had nothing :P, so we would just save up for the rest. We are probably going to end up paying 5k total, we have just about everything booked, now we’re just making payments up until the wedding month.
Post # 8
We’re just planning to pay for everything ourselves so the chat didn’t ever happen. My mom bought my dress when we went shopping together, and FI’s family has offered to and is making the arrangements for the rehersal dinner. It was easier to let them make the make the arrangements for that so that they can determine and go with whatever budget they want for that. Anything else that our parents want to offer to help pay for, I will be grateful for, but its definitely easier to plan on your my budget. I’ve heard enough horror stories about parents saying they will pay, and then changing their minds later too!