(Closed) How did you do it!?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2 posts
  • Wedding: November 2009

Hey OohShiny,


First of all BIG hug! You sound like you need someone on your side.

Secondly, yes the stress can make you physically ill. Its stressful enough with all that planning and no family problems, WITH family issues, it can become dangerously stressful…. My guess here is that there are family problems with your wedding and you are not confronting them in an attempt to please everyone?

DONT DO IT…. Trust me on this one, the consequences can be far reaching. See my post of my experience underelopement' in response to the postanyone had a traditional wedding planned then cancelled’.

3 years on and I still suffer from the stress of being a doormat over my wedding, never confronting anyone at the detriment of my own health and happiness, and the stress continues today because even now I dont confront anyone over it and deny my own right to be angry. I just avoid them because there is no changing them. So Im not there yet…..


My advice – dont risk your physical and mental health for ANYONE, and if family problems are causing it – elope – BUT BY YOURSELVES…..


Hope you can have the strength that I didnt have to see your way through this for a happy, stress free wedding! You deserve it.






Post # 4
17 posts
  • Wedding: November 2012

Big hug! I totally agreed with @freelife

I’m on the half of my plan on my wedding, I fully understanding your feeling. Eveything is gonna be fine!You’ll def. have a very happy wedding ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 5
2127 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yeah, man, I’ve had 4 panick attacks in the last 4 months and I never get those…it’s been rough, my family seems to be falling apart in their own personal lives, everyone complains to me how broke they are…I’m pretty sure out of some 85 invites that went out in my hometown, only 10 will actually make the trip to my wedding.

I’m just leaning hard on my most supportive friends and my family from out of town who’s helping me with my wedding. I know they will make it beutiful for me…somehow, someway..and that hopefully for one day, everyone can put aside their differences and stresses and just enjoy. 

Having said that, I’m serously thinking about counseling to get me throug this last 3 months.

Post # 6
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Hang in there! I am feeling the same exact way! I am having family issues, a sick cat, and the rest of everything to do for wedding. And I pulled a muscle in my back so it hurts to move. Everytime I look at my room full of wedding things, I feel like I need to breath into  a paperbag.


Does everyone have a nice relaxing honeymoon planned to look forward to? I am going to Punta Cana ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
26 posts
  • Wedding: February 2013

Hang in there, you’ll get through it.  It’s supposed to be a fun and happy time but every bride knows there’s a lot of stress that goes into planning a wedding.

There are two things that are helping my sanity levels:
1. Go out and enjoy yourself at least twice a month.  Either on your own or with a friend.  But do something unrelated to the wedding.  Go for coffee, go shopping, go out for dinner.  Do something that has nothing to do with the wedding and that’s YOUR time.
2.  Spend some time with your Fiance just the two of you.  No wedding talk, no planning, no guest list, nothing wedding related.  Have dinner, or lunch, or just go for a walk together.  Have a “date” like you used to before all the wedding stuff.

Most of all, just try to breathe.  It’s hard, and it’s stressful, but it’s also a happy time.  It’s the beginning of your new life with your Fiance, it’s the start of something special and great!  ๐Ÿ™‚

I find these boards can be really helpful when I’ve felt stressed out.  I read the posts about what’s going well for other brides, and look at some of the DIY projects other bees have done and it makes me happy.  Lean on your fellow bees!

Post # 8
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Yoga! For the hour and a half I’m in a class, I don’t think about wedding stuff at all. Also- Fiance and I have done “wedding free” days, where we’re not allowed to talk about it- helps keep our relationship focused on what’s important.

Post # 9
6114 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t know how brides do it!  I feel for you, I had insomnia, I was cranky, all that stuff.  Then I quit planning for one month and I had never slept so well.  We’re eloping now, but for other reasons.


You’re so close though!  Can you hang in there?  Don’t sweat the small stuff?

Post # 10
7309 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

You are in the home stretch. The last 8 weeks leading up to the wedding were the tough ones for me. I had family drama that was completely seperate from the wedding and really high work stress, both of which made me want to lay in bed all day with the covers pulled over my head. But since that was not an option, I reserved full rights to cry when necessary, delegate crap to every willing individual, postpone other non-pressing things so that I could focus on checking off items on my “to-do” list, and order a lot more take-out that we usually would. Basically, if it wasn’t something for the wedding, work, or my family responsibilities, it could friggin wait. So what if my house was messier than usual? So what if Mr. LK didn’t get the grass mowed because he was working on the program layout? BFD. That stuff could wait. My Pop Pop took a huge turn for the worse 10 days before the wedding. At that point in time I notified my month-of coordinator and my vendors that I was officially done with wedding planning. They all knew my vision, they were top notch professionals, and they could figure it out. And that was that. At some point you will have to let it go, and it will be whatever it will be. When that moment comes, take a deep breath and put your trust in the professionals that you’ve selected. It will all work out just fine in the end.

Post # 11
2701 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Write things down. It may be overwhelming to look at at first, but you will feel good crossing it off! Don’t do too much. Designate a day for each thing. The last 5 weeks were so crazy for me but I ended up being ok because I did one thing at a time. Don’t look at the big picture; just what you have to do next.

Post # 12
7899 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I’m so sorry you are so stressed. You might want to see a professional and get Xanex, but aside from that, I recommend exercise. Any exercise, but mind-body stuff will do wonders. Even a walk or a job can really help calm you down and bring your hormones and blood pressure and all back to level.

Post # 13
45 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

I am very prone to letting stress get to me. Last year, during my sophomore year of college, I was going through a rough time emotionally. I never went to a counselor for it, but I feel like I probably had mild depression/anxiety. My stress gave me horrible insomnia (My anxious thoughts were keeping me awake until 3 and 4 am, which is bad when you have 8 o clock classes), I was hyperventilating often, and at one point I had a bad cold for about a month. I didn’t even have my period for about 3 months, which was also due to stress. 

I say all of that to say that I was able to pull myself out of that level of stress by making it a priority to take better care of myself. When you are depressed/stressed, sometimes it’s hard to get yourself off of the couch and make a change. At the start of this year (my junior year) I decided to get the courage to make a change for myself. It was scary because I was scared of failing. But I took the plunge. I started excersising regularly. (going to Zumba classes (FUN!), kickboxing classes and yoga classes. Going to yoga has been very theraputic for me with my stress levels. I joined two lifegroups (Christian Bible study/social group). Surrounding yourself with positive people is so important. I also scheduled my classes so that I had to wake up at the same time every day. I think a more consistent bedtime is really important to getting on a healthy schedule. I also decided to think more rationally about the people in my life who had been stressing me out. My mom is wonderful but she can be very stressful sometimes and I’ve learned to realize that she has good intentions but she isn’t always right all of the time and it’s okay for me to think differently. That goes for other people too. I felt a lot of peace when I started realizing and practicing these things.

I still have my days, and sometimes weeks, of stress, but overall, it is AMAZING how much doing those things have made me much healthier and happier. Actually being able to fall asleep at peace was amazing and I started to be able to do that after I started thinking differently and taking care of myself better. I got engaged two weeks ago so I’m going to have to remember to take my own advice as I begin this year of planning.

Just know that you are getting married to someone who LOVES you! That is a wonderful thing. ๐Ÿ™‚

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