(Closed) How did you feel about your bridal shower/bachelorette?

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
8446 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@indecisivebride89:  I told my Maid/Matron of Honor I didn’t want a crazy bachelorette party (I’m 33) so she arranged for a couple of nice dinners with just the girls.  I really loved it and it’s exactly how I wanted to spend my time with them.  I’m really glad that my Maid/Matron of Honor took what I said into consideration.

Post # 4
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think the bride/groom have a right to talk about the tone so for example if the bride not into dancing/going out, saying she wants a more low key girls night at home, dinner, or spa day is fine. The issue is when the bride/groom steps in and tries to micro manage decor and everything else.

I liked my bridal shower, however it was very girly and pink which isn’t totally me but the food was great and I loved ever aspect of it. My bachlorette is tonight, and I been left total in the dark about what is going on for that but its starts early at 5 so we shall see what happens with that. I assuming dinner/dancing/ fun cocktails minus all the penis paraphernalia nd tiara/slash stuff as that isn’t really my style.

Post # 5
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@indecisivebride89:  Just tagging this for future refrence (future Bridesmaid or Best Man for two weddings, so this could be helpful if the MOHs want help planning).

Post # 6
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I was really bummed about my Bachelorette party. My Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man planned it but didn’t ask me who I wanted to invite until about 2 weeks beforehand. It ended up just being the 3 of us because no one else could come so last minute. I had a great time but I really wish they had asked me for an address list so they could send invites out early (every bride has an address list of guests anyway so it’s not too hard to do that). I’m planning a Bachelorette party for a friend now and I made it clear that she just has to give me names/address and it will be my responsibility to get invites out.


For my shower, my mom and sisters took that over and planned everything. They asked me what I wanted and then planned everything and sent all the invites out. It was nice and just what I wanted. I just don’t like having all that attention on me so that was the only bad part. 

Biggest advice I have is to not make the bride feel like it’s a burden to plan these parties. I got grief from all the people planning about the things they had to do and it made me feel really guilty. I didn’t ask for anything crazy so it made me feel like no one really wanted to do this for me.

Post # 7
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Fiance and I don’t like the idea of bachelor/bachelorette parties, so we’re hosting a “get together”, renting a few rooms at a hotel (they are joined by doors) and going out to a nice dinner, then going to our favorite bar. Our friends are invited. We’re also bringing our PS3, XBox 360, and a Wii.  It isn’t really “wedding” related, but just an excuse to hang out with our friends – we’re footing the hotel and dinner, and any alcohol we bring from home to enjoy in our rooms (though drinks while out are on them).

Ideally we wanted to make a weekend trip to see the Jones vs Sonnen fight… but that didn’t work out for us. =(


My mom’s friend is hosting my bridal shower and I’ve got no say in it, and I’m perfectly fine with that!

Post # 8
7211 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@indecisivebride89:  My best friend gave me a lot of direction for her bridal shower. ๐Ÿ˜› She told me she really wanted it at her grandparents’ house, she gave some ideas about decor/color and was VERY VERY clear that she didn’t want to be embarrassed. At that point I stopped her so we could have SOME surprises! We’re having it next Saturday, so I’m hoping she likes what we did!

Post # 9
2747 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012



To answer your questions:


What did you think about your bridal shower and bachelorette parties?


I had the MOST incredible shower and bach that I could have ever wanted!! I was very happy. I am very close to my cousins (bridesmaids) and friends (who are super fun people) so I trusted them completely to make the night memorable for me.  


Did the hosts ask you what you wanted?


My cousins know me from childhood so they pretty much understood what I liked and disliked.  They only asked me input about who to invite.


And would you prefer them to ask what you wanted or should you just find out the day of and be surprised? 


I did not want to be involved at all.  The only thing I wanted them to do was to include me when drawing up the invite list and nothing disrespectful to myself or my hubby (but that was a given).


Was anyone disappointed in their days? Or begin off disappointed and then just suck it up and realize that you were with people you loved and ended up having fun?


Nope, nothing.


Also…was there anyone who you LOVED and wanted to be there, but you were worried would kind of bring the party down? This seems to be a re-occuring theme…someone who is a big prude, or doesn’t include themselves in activities on a regular basis. Did they suck it up for the big day or did they actually bring the party down!?!? 


Not at all. I don’t usually worry about who would bring the party down. I was going to have fun regardless. I only worried a LITTLE about having my family at the shower (since some do not speak English very well), but my cousins handled that with grace and everyone felt included.




I had a Destination Wedding in Cancun. So my bridal shower was Mexican themed.


They had a pinata, many different (family-safe) games, food and an outdoor TENT.  Originally they told me they had want to book a donkey (that was kind of overkill hahaha).





My bachelorette was Moulin Rouge themed.  I was to be “Satine” and my girls were the “Diamond Dogs”. The hosts had lots of food/snacks that they made themselves set up at a friend’s house for pre-drinks.  We did bachelorette bingo.  They booked a VIP booth at a lounge/club and had food catered for the night. It was just fabulous!





For both my bridal shower and bachelorette, my cousins (BMs/hosts) blindfolded me, drove me to a meet up point, passed me off to another vehicle, so that I would not know where I was going.  It was a lot of fun!!


In the end, I don’t have much advice other thank to choose the right people to be your hosts/bridal party and to relinquish control. =) Just plan to enjoy yourself no matter who is there/not there and no matter what you do!! If you are uncomfortable with something, let the hosts know off the bat. Respect is key.


Post # 10
2 posts
  • Wedding: July 2013

I would absolutely ask bride for ideas on what she might like to do, but keep the destinations secret. This way you can make sure she has a good time, but is also suprised.

Post # 11
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My bridal shower:

I gave my input for the theme I wanted, a venue that fit that theme, guest list. Maid/Matron of Honor did all the logistics and created some beautiful DIY flowers and favors. The only 2 things I was not happy with: she chose invitations that matched my wedding theme/color and not the bridal shower theme/color. I know she thought I would like that but I thought I was having a girly very pink bridal shower (in an all-pink room!) with a tea theme, but her invitations had yellow flowers that I was having in the wedding, though there weren’t yellow flowers there. My only other issue was that we only had about 2 hours in the room which was NOT enough, it felt very short and that was for a small shower with less than 30 people.

My bachelorette:

I was very unhappy about it leading up to it because my groom went on a 3 night trip to New Orleans while I was only getting 1 night in NYC which I’ve been to many times before and we were staying at one of my BM’s apartment in Brooklyn rather than a hotel in the city. I understand budget issues but I felt my bridal party was being a little bit cheap, and even my groom felt that – he sent me with $200 to give my Maid/Matron of Honor to spend! I also didn’t get strippers which I really wanted but otherwise they chose the perfect venue – Lips, drag dining which was AMAZING. We went to Hill Country and rode a mechanical bull afterwards which was fun and then one of those underground karaoke joints after at which point I was exhausted and drunk and fell asleep in our karaoke room :p

Post # 12
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Also, now that I’m not the bride but missing planning I’m already thinking about my Maid/Matron of Honor who is in a serious relationship and I expect to get engaged in the next few months and so am already thinking about her shower and recently saw an idea I LOVED – a mimosa bar with different kinds of juices! So yeah hopefully will be in the “party” section again soon of the hive searching for more ideas!

Post # 13
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My bridal shower was great, they asked if there was a theme or colors I wanted. I said I liked pink and white and they took it from there.  They had pink lanterns hanging and pink carnations for the tables.  All the prizes were potted pink and white flowers and pink soaps (both a big hit).  They ran some things by me to make sure I would be ok with it, but they ran the show and it was beautiful.

My bachelorette party, on the other hand, was just meh.  I’m not a big part girl and one of my BMs was only 16, so I asked that we go out for dinner and then to this fancy restaraunt/bar that has amazing desserts.  Well, we went to dinner at the place I wanted, but its inside a casino, so two of the girls wanted to gamble for a bit, so the 16 year old Bridesmaid or Best Man was left behind with my mom and another friend.  Then, the same 2 BMs dragged me to a few different bars that were within walking distance, I hated every minute of it and I felt bad for leaving my other Bridesmaid or Best Man behind.  My wonderful Maid/Matron of Honor was telling me the whole time that we could just leave and let the other girls do their thing. I felt bad so I hung around for a while.  When I did have enough, my Maid/Matron of Honor and I went back to the restaraunt where my other Bridesmaid or Best Man and my mom and friend were chatting.  We never did go to the place with the amazing desserts. ๐Ÿ™

Anyway….while the bridal shower was great, the bachelorette party wasn’t.  They asked me what I wanted to do and knew I wasn’t a bar kind of girl, but they just did what they wanted anyway.

Post # 14
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I haven’t had either yet, but they are setting up to be disasters.My mom and Maid/Matron of Honor got in a fight over invites in the beginning and now both of them are waiting for the other to take the lead. The shower is next weekend. So yeah, not really looking forward to it. At least I have a cute dress… But honestly I’m pretty sad. I read about these fabulous showers and bachelorette parties and I just wish I had people in my life who were really excited for me, who wanted to throw me a nice party. My Fiance thinks they are maybe trying to surprise me by acting like they don’t care, but I know them better than that. I refuse to get my hopes up ๐Ÿ™

Post # 15
2117 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@indecisivebride89:  My Fiance and I don’t like the idea of a bachelor/bachelorette party so we are having what we call a PWDT or Pre-Wedding Day Trip. We are going to NYC for the day and going to Eataly, the High Line, and Chelsea market, central park and then dinner. And then I’m going out with my sister and mom for a girl’s night out, but I’m not sure what we are doing yet.

As far as my bridal shower goes, it was a lot of fun and I appreciate all the effort that my mom and my sister put into the party. Most of my guests made it and I loved my shower. However, I was disappointed about where the shower was held. When my mom asked me where I’d like to have the shower, I told her I wanted it somewhere that maybe had an outdoor garden or something that reflected my theme. She looked at sooo many places but ended up going with a restaurant that I thought everyone knew I disliked but my dad kind of made her have the shower there. 

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