(Closed) How did you feel when you got back RSVP’s that said no?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
565 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

don’t feel like an awful person for feeling that way.  and hey, people have lives:  work they may not be able to get out of, or other obligations, you never know what is going on.  so, you’re not horrible to look at it that way at all.

Post # 4
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Since I have a Destination Wedding I am expecting a fair shar of no’s.  I have one that irked me though.  It is my cuz, and I went to her wedding, and I think she just said no becasue she dosn’t want to associate with the family on my other side.  (She had a messy relationship with a bad breakup with my other cousin)  He is not invited since he’s an ass.  I wasn’t even planing on inviting that side of the fam, but now that room opened up for them I guess i’m inviting them as well.  Sucks.  I seriously wish they won’t go.

Post # 5
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We had a small-ish wedding. We had a few “no’s”, but most didn’t come as a surprise. However, I had one friend who would have had to fly in for the wedding. He told me that between him and his wife, they had been invited to 4 weddings that summer/fall that they would have had to travel to. They felt too bad picking 1 or 2 from the 4 since they were all special, so they decided to RSVP no to all of them.

I talked to him a few months later and he went on and on about the wedding they went to in Key West. Guess he forgot the “excuse” he gave me a few months earlier!

Post # 6
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I remember feeling SO relieved when we were getting NOs in! Darling Husband and I were high fiving! Honestly we invited 215ish people and our venue only fit MAX 150. We were nervous! We ended up with 130 on the dot and I dont know how we would have fit any more than that!

Post # 7
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@CanAmBride:

ouch.  People should just be honest!

Post # 9
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s inevitable that some people will say no. While we’re definitely not there yet, I imagine it will be bittersweet–of course we want everyone there to celebrate with us, but if everyone we invite says yes, we will probably go over our budget. I know people say you shouldn’t invite more people than you budget for, but we are assuming that some of our distant relatives that live 1000s of miles away will probably not make the trip. If they do we may have to rethink some things!

Post # 10
Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

People are going to say no. I just made the option on my RVSPs funny to allow me to chuckle when they decline. its states ” No I can not come, I do not like fun”.

Post # 11
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

There’s only been 1 I was disappointed about, but I know it’s b/c of work…… the woman would move heaven & earth to make it so I know she tried. lol

I’ve been kinda relieved about getting some no’s too. I mean our cartering is set but we’re doing our on decorating so less tables is less stress & time (considering we have to pay by the hour to set up the day before the wedding)

Really… at this point I just want to GET responses… lol people are so bad about sending them back!

Post # 12
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

You’re not horrible at all! There was a small handful of No’s that I was truly disappointed about, but for the most part (and we only had 75 of 150 invited attend so that is a lot of no’s)– I was pretty happy that we’d have the smaller and less expensive wedding we’d wanted all along. I absolutely LOVED having just 75 people there, and I wouldn’t change that if I could’ve. 

Post # 13
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We haven’t sent our invites yet, but some people have told us that they may not make it because of work, graduations, etc.  We recently found out that our wedding day is the same day as many high school graduations in our area.  Since we’re inviting more people than we expect to attend, we’re kind of looking forward to some declines.  I think the biggest disappointment was having my make-up artist cancel because her sister is graduating that day.  Now I’m searching for another artist! Frown

Post # 14
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Darling Husband and I paid for our vendors and my parents paid for our reception so I guess when we got No’s I didn’t really think about that in money terms. I was so crushed by our first couple of No’s but once it was all said and done it worked out a lot better and we were able to save some money.

Post # 15
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I wanted a small wedding, so I was very happy when people said no.

Post # 16
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

i was actually kind of happy with the no’s –  we were way over our limit anyway so every no that came in i was doing  the happy dance. we invited about 190 people – our venue held 150 – we ended up with 120

im actually really really happy with the group we had there – very playful and fun – a very young crowd – i think my parents were the oldest people there.

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