- 3 years ago
<h5 class=”font-sizer”>So this is my first post here so I hope it’s not a jinx, I get superstitious about looking at engagement and wedding stuff. SO and I have been dating over 18 months and we debated moving in together but I really felt it was right to wait until there’s a commitment. We’ve talked children, and me continuing to work, and possibly retiring somewhere warm. So right now all signs point to marriage but I still have 10 months left on my apartment lease so ya know, no proposals in the near future…I’d imagine late spring or summer. </h5>
Anyway, our mutual friends just got engaged on Friday. And it brought up the topic of rings. Our male friend mentioned at brunch that his fiance had no clue on what she wanted, that they had gone to jeweler together and gotten sized, she got an emerald b/c she didn’t want a diamond. He joked with my SO and was like “well, you’re lucky b/c bluegreyeyes will know exactly what she wants, give you a list with all the specs and send you on your way”. Which is not true at all, SO luckily knows me better and responded “ahh you’d be surprised, she has a crisis just trying to decide where we should go for dinner”. Lol, totally true.
Interestingly enough last weekend SO’s Facebook newsfeed had a “21 Tips on Engagement Ring Buying” article which he quickly complained “I dunno how I get signed up for these weird articles” lol. Anyway, the whole convo/wkend got me thinking about how I have no idea what I want in a ring since I’ve never tried on rings or gotten sized.
More than that, he’d have no idea wtf to get me. He’s asked to get me jewelry for holidays but I decline b/c I’d rather go to a great concert, or super fancy dinner or a weekend trip somewhere. I don’t wear jewelry really. I wear Mikimoto pearl studs and a lokalai balance bracelet on the daily but no watches or necklaces. I wear kinda over the top costume jewelry when we go out on dates and to events… Forever 21, H&M, Anthropologie… ya know, the cheap gaudy stuff that looks cool in selfies and gets tossed after a few wears 😉
I do want a classic traditional diamond engagement ring. Right now I THINK I want a super delicate pave band with a round solitaire in a 6 prong setting. Again, this is all based on pics – so it could change once I try on.
I have a very small finger, I think just b/c my frame is super small and from years of playing the piano, to the point where I can still wear rings that I got as a child. Not sure if that makes a diff in anything. I could probably rule out anything larger than 1.5. My best friend has a 2+ carat solitaire w halo and pave band, it’s… intense…. but that’s her, and where she lives it’s very competitive like that so bigger is normal.
I want SO to be involved in this venture… of course I want something I’ll love but I don’t want to be too specific going into it and too Type A. We’re both very thorough and conscientious when purchasing things. We love to read a million reviews and get all the details and search the internet like detectives to find out everything we can before we buy. If I were to guess, he will have a PhD in diamonds by the time this is over with. I want him to look at the ring and love it as much as I do….especially since he’ll be paying for it.
As for price and budget, that would be completely up to SO. We do not mix our finances yet and I have student loans so I wouldn’t be contributing for the ring. I’m not even sure how men calculate their budget for e-rings, I know that 3 months salary thing is a bunch of bull, right? SO makes 6 figures and he drives a luxury car, owns a townhouse so yeah, he does well… no debt that I’m aware of, he likes to save 20% a month. I really don’t want to know prices or anything, it just… seems like a business transaction at that point.
Anyway, my questions are: curious: how did you know what sort of ring you wanted? and how did you communicate to SO what you wanted?
a) ring shopping w SO **do jewelers talk pricing in front of the “bride”?
b) ring shopping alone or with girlfriends/fam
c) just cruising pics online
d) completely surprised by SO, no input at all
*if d, how did that turn out? did you love the original ring or did you have to tell him you wanted it change? (this happened to my best friend AFTER she went to the jeweler herself, sent the pic and details of what she wanted to her boyfriend)
Sorry this was super long (Slow day at work)…. thanks for the input ladies.