(Closed) How did you find out what sort of ring you wanted? How did SO know what to buy?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 31
7 posts
  • Wedding: November 2016

We had gone looking together casually as we’d pass a jewelry store in the mall, but I had no idea when he actually bought one. Having owned no fine jewelry before my e-ring, I thought they were all beautiful! He ended up picking an absolutely gorgeous Verragio because “I’m buying it for you but I have to like it too cause I’ll be looking at it every day for the rest of our lives!”. Good thing I’m marrying a man with amazing taste in jewelry ๐Ÿ™‚ though he did spend a LOT more than I thought he would given his college student status.   

Post # 32
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Ever since I was a teenager, I’d go to the high end jewelry stores downtown or at the mall (Tiffany’s, Cartier, etc.) and ask to try on all the ones I loved. Throughout my 20s, whenever I’d have a bad day, I’d go to Tiffany’s and try on the rings.

I was always attracted to yellow diamonds and eventually realized I alway chose to look at ovals. Eventually when I met Darling Husband, we “happened upon” a Tiffany’s and looked at rings together. He liked what I liked and the rest is history (though we went the custom route, NOT Tiffany’s!)

Post # 33
2421 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

That’s so exciting you are in the ring shopping stage!!

My Fiance and I started talking rings over a year ago and he just proposed a few weeks ago so I totally know how you feel being overwhelmed and wondering how it all comes together. My Fiance and I don’t have a very traditional way we started ring shopping. I love shopping and my Fiance hates it so I decided I’d go a few times alone to narrow things down and then take him. The only thing I knew is that I wanted a gemstone ering. I went to probably about 5 different stores and I saw little to nothing of what I wanted. From there, I did a TON of research online on what gemstones are the best for everyday wear, etc.

That’s when I started looking at Etsy. There are a lot of jewelers who have more unique rings and I really wanted a vintage ring if possible. I would suggest looking there first (because selection is so wide) and then shopping in person to narrow down what you liked in pictures.

I highly highly recommend looking at rings in person though. I never though sapphire were for me and then I tried one on and loved it. I’m glad I did! I also tried on round cut and princess cut and found out I didn’t like them! I think there’s a huge difference from pictures and in person.

We decided to take a leap of faith and have him order the ring online. I did get the chance to try on one morganite ring and three different blue sapphire rings. I really loved all of them so we went for it! I chose about 10 or 12 rings from Etsy, ranging from $250-$3000 so he could choose what he was comfortable with price-wise, even though he told me it didn’t matter (he knows how cheap I am and how I would never choose something expensive).

He ended up choosing a vintage oval sapphire ring with diamonds around it and I love it!

For us, it was a pretty painless process because I did all of the research and specifically chose the rings. I really liked to do all of the research and I know I am really picky so it would be easier for me to choose but let him surprise me.

Keep us updated on the ring shopping progress smile

Post # 34
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre

The only thing we talked about getting engaged was that I wanted to get engaged after I graduated from university. He surprised me with the ring and with the proposal

Post # 35
1575 posts
Bumble bee

I browsed the Internet, used weddingbee and compiled a list with links to my fave rings. He had already bought a right hand ring for a previous anniversary so knew my size. I not so subtly sent him the list, and he chose his favourite. He didn’t tell me when he had bought it, and still managed to surprise me with a lovely proposal overseas ๐Ÿ™‚ I LOVE my ring and I’m happy I got to have input.

Post # 36
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I researched rings about 10 hours a week for about a year. It took me a long time to realize what I liked and what I didn’t. Many factors went into what I decided on. As much as I love pave bands and bling, I feel it won’t hold up over the test of time. I also knew I want my wedding band to sit flush with my ering, so that cut out a lot of options for me. I narrowed it down to 2 different rings that I loved, and decided on the one with the better price and guarenteed to have a band sit flush with it. Couldn’t be happier!

As far as SO knowing what ring I wanted…I litterally was like this is the one I want, do you like it? You do? YAY!!!!

Post # 37
20 posts

Go shopping, and take your time!! Once you know, share those details with your SO. 

I am the one who proposed to my gf, and then we picked out my ring. Being a little bit of a control freak, I picked out my ring on my own after tons of online shopping, and I spent about 5 minutes with the ring in the store before it was shipped out to size. When I got it back, I had it for 3 days before I broke down and admitted I hated it on me. 

Once I admitted that, we returned that ring and shopped again, and this time I considered all my options. We talked price a lot before shopping too!! I ended up with a gorgeous solitaire that I’m pairing with a double band enhancer as my wedding band. 

Be honest about what you want with your SO, and take your time choosing. For me, online looking did not help at all, because I never even considered a marquise cut solitaire for myself but I absolutely love my ring now!

Post # 38
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Years ago, we saw the remake of “The Time Machine”.  The protagonist proposes with her birthstone, in this case a moonstone.  I loved that idea.  I knew my birthstone, an aquamarine, would be less expensive overall, the first “real” jewelry I was ever given was an aquamarine baby ring from my grandfather (which was stolen in junior high ๐Ÿ™ ), and it would make it “me”.  

I don’t recall how I communicated this to him, as I was totally against asking about it, talking about it – for my “waiting” years, it was just not a good subject.  I may have mentioned it to a few friends, one of whom must have shared with him.  

A little while after he admitted to shopping (hard in our rural area, sharing one car, the nearest town with a big jewelry store over an hour away and he is not one to go there alone but he wanted it to be a surprise), and after a while, ran a few photos in front of me.  They were beautiful, aquamarines, but to me looked like “right-hand rings” and I could not see how a wedding band would sit up against them.  So I feel bad, but I told him they were very pretty, but if this was for what I thought it was, a simple solitaire was more “me”.  He went back to the drawing board.

A few months later, on a walk, he surprised me with this ring:


and then we picked out our wedding bands from the same website gemvara.com, which lets you pick the metal, the stone(s), and even has payment plans and free engraving and re-sizing in 100 days of purchase.

Just cuz I like posting ’em:



Post # 39
13 posts

How involved or not involved you wanna be is entirely up to you. Almost everyone I know left the decision making totally up to their SO. I, on the other hand, was very involved. I don’t have my ring yet, but I know what it’ll look like and I even have a hunch when the proposal will be (mainly because of my crazy work schedule). I decided to go ring shopping with my SO after I went shopping with a friend and then she wanted me to go shopping with her SO and basically be the middle man. No thanks. It was easier for me and my boyfriend to just go together. Although I think my boyfriend is slightly disappointed there’s very little surprise factor, I know he’s excited cause he was able to get me exactly what I wanted. I had actually told him to pick out of a few favorites but because of my facial expressions he was easily able to pick “the one”. As far as pricing. A lot of jewelers asked that my boyfriend write down a budget on a piece of paper so they could hide the price points but towards the end I knew how much he was willing to spend. 

Post # 40
1976 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

I wanted my ring to be a surprise the only thing I said was not a solitaire anything else would be fine. I absolutely love my engagement ring

Post # 41
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I had basically figured out the style I wanted (Edwardian) and had a ton of pictures saved on Pinterest. After we decided together that we wanted to get married, and that we wanted to split the cost of the ring, I did a lot of research and got quotes from several jewelers to have what I was imagining made for me. The ring is under construction now and should be finished in a couple of weeks, at which point my fiance plans to propose. I have no idea what he has in mind, but hopefully he will do it in a relatively private place and then there will be champagne afterward! So the ring won’t be a surprise at all, but the proposal still will. Since we’ve already set our date and scheduled our venue, it’s not like I’m waiting on the ring to feel engaged, but I am very impatient to be able to wear the gorgeous thing!

Post # 42
281 posts
Helper bee

bluegreyeyes :  Hi & welcome.

a) ring shopping w SO **do jewelers talk pricing in front of the “bride”?

Yes, price is usually a pretty important topic of discussion.

b) ring shopping alone or with girlfriends/fam?

Ring shopping with SO. That’s my preference because it’s a personal decision. I’ve gone with my Mom before just for fun looking at jewelry, but to actually pick an engagement ring, just my boyfriend.
c) just cruising pics online?

I looked online initially (still do ๐Ÿ™‚ I also had tried on different shapes of rings, just for fun and to get an idea of what diamond shape I liked. When you try on the rings in person it’s much different than online so it’s important to go into a store.

d) completely surprised by SO, no input at all
*if d, how did that turn out? did you love the original ring or did you have to tell him you wanted it change? (this happened to my best friend AFTER she went to the jeweler herself, sent the pic and details of what she wanted to her boyfriend)?

For me, there is no way I would not have input on such an expensive, one time purchase. I plan on wearing this for a very very long time if not forever so I want to love it. We went together and chose together. The ring has been purchased so I’m awaiting proposal.

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