(Closed) How did you get your SO to work out?

posted 5 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 2
Member
1228 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Bring him on jogs with me. If he doesn’t want to go, I come back afterward so at least he can join me on a cool down walk. And then I choose the hilly route 😉 He now joins me 2-3 times per week, but it took a few years to get to this point!

Post # 3
Member
4239 posts
Honey bee

You can’t make him work out- either he’ll find the motivation or he won’t. I would suggest you continue to cook healthy meals and let him know he’s free to join your workouts if he wants, then drop it. It’s his choice whether or not he joins you.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by  ClaudiaKishi.
Post # 4
Member
4888 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
ClaudiaKishi:  +1

I workout about 3-4 days a week (gym membership and videos at home), and play co-ed volleyball (sand/indoor) once a week. DH doesn’t really workout, but does a lot of stuff around the house that could easily be considered a workout. We also have an elliptical that he goes on, on occasion. But, I don’t force him too.

I have, however, suggested he start doing the elliptical more and maybe lift some weights to help his cardiovascular and work his back since he has problems with it. But, that’s up to him!

Post # 5
Member
1978 posts
Buzzing bee

You can’t force him to work out. Motivation comes from within.

Talk to him and see if he is depressed, or if something is bothering him. You have to come from a place of love and support, something like “It’s not like you to be like this, and I’m concerned about its affects on your health.” Let him know that you support him and want to help. But otherwise, it’s up to him to take care of himself. But don’t nag, don’t badger, and I would certainly do your best not to let on that he “squishes you” and you’re not as “revved up” as you used to be. That’s bound to just make him upset and likely guilty.

People change, and bodies age. Hormones, stress, age, and so many other factors go into fitness. Maybe he just doesn’t like working out anymore. Don’t focus on the fact that you want your engagement photos to show off his rockin’ bod – your engagement pictures should show off how happy you two are to be getting married. That sort of pressure to look good for pictures or your wedding day is just feeding a short term goal, not a lifestyle change. At the end of the day, you have to choose to accept who he is, flabby or not.

Post # 6
Member
1442 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Yeah, it’s a decision he has to make and come to on his own. 

Post # 8
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I understand where you are coming from. I used to date guys who were buff and so incredibly strong. My Fiance is a farmer and he does not have a six pack but he’s strong as a bull. Honestly, I think that is the most sexiest thing in the world though. I love that my fiance doesnt have a six pack and super defined abs because thats not the guy who I fell in love with. I understand that you want your pictures to look nice and that you want him to look nice, but honestly, how he looks on the outside shouldnt matter. Whether he is super defined, a little chubby, or very heavy, you should think he is sexy no matter what. I understand where you are coming from but try not to get so wrapped up in his apperance and remember the reasons why you fell in love with him to begin with. That is the stuff that matters. Maybe when his weight stops being brought up, he will start working out 🙂

Post # 9
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

OMG if my Fiance started hinting around that I needed to work out more I would be crushed… if you love him and his health isnt affected then who cares… just keep cooking healthy and drop it. dont make him feel self conscious poor guy

Post # 12
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
becomingsumner:  I don’t know how to get your SO to work out more but if you figure it out PLEASE tell my husband the secret lol

Post # 13
Member
2316 posts
Buzzing bee

The motivation has to come from within.  He may even be worried that he can’t  keep up with you because he’s out of shape.  Maybe you can begin by just being more active together.  Going to the park, tossing a ball around, frisbee, paddleboats, canoes, taking long walks/ hikes together are all ways to be more active without working out.  Try selecting a workout DVD together and doing it together, in the house a few nights a week.  Once he gets his confidence back he will want to step it up a notch and eventually he will be able to join you. 

Post # 14
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2015

 

View original reply
becomingsumner:  Maybe my post came across to strong, im sorry girl! I understand where you are coming from now 🙂 Working out comes from motivation and sometimes motivation isnt there, I know sometimes I dont have motivation either! lol I hope that he gets the motivation to get back to where he feels good about himself. Im sure everything will work out!! Good luck girly!

Post # 15
Member
3031 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

What about taking up a sport or something? Lots of places have adult leagues so if you can find something that is exercise, but doesn’t feel like exercise he might be up for that.

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