Post # 1
My Fiance and I have booked our engagement photoshoot at the end of September, and I am beyond excited!
However…since we’ve been together, my Fiance has not been motivated to work out. He used to be in amazing shape (he’s in the Navy), and I mean his bod…ugh I’m talking like Marky Mark circa 1992. Well, as of late, he’s gone from fab to flab. His sex drive is still there, but the man squishes me and I’m not as revved up as I used to be to jump his bones if ya catch my drift.
I’ve tried cooking him healthy, portioned out meals. I’ve suggested walking the dogs together every night. I told him whatever workout routine he chooses that I’ll glad join him and keep him motivated side by side….
Nothing. He won’t do it. He’s not fat, but he’s pleasantly plump. He’s even admitted that this is the heaviest he’s been. So, if he knows he needs to work out, I know he needs to work out, and I’m trying to get him to eat healthy/work out with me, what can I do to encourage him to stick to something? I want our engagement photos to be him in great shape, not the way that he doesn’t even like looking in the mirror. He hates looking at himself in the “buff” and I want these photos to be something that he enjoys looking at with me.
Do you have any suggestions??
Post # 2
Bring him on jogs with me. If he doesn’t want to go, I come back afterward so at least he can join me on a cool down walk. And then I choose the hilly route 😉 He now joins me 2-3 times per week, but it took a few years to get to this point!
Post # 3
You can’t make him work out- either he’ll find the motivation or he won’t. I would suggest you continue to cook healthy meals and let him know he’s free to join your workouts if he wants, then drop it. It’s his choice whether or not he joins you.
Post # 4
I workout about 3-4 days a week (gym membership and videos at home), and play co-ed volleyball (sand/indoor) once a week. DH doesn’t really workout, but does a lot of stuff around the house that could easily be considered a workout. We also have an elliptical that he goes on, on occasion. But, I don’t force him too.
I have, however, suggested he start doing the elliptical more and maybe lift some weights to help his cardiovascular and work his back since he has problems with it. But, that’s up to him!
Post # 5
You can’t force him to work out. Motivation comes from within.
Talk to him and see if he is depressed, or if something is bothering him. You have to come from a place of love and support, something like “It’s not like you to be like this, and I’m concerned about its affects on your health.” Let him know that you support him and want to help. But otherwise, it’s up to him to take care of himself. But don’t nag, don’t badger, and I would certainly do your best not to let on that he “squishes you” and you’re not as “revved up” as you used to be. That’s bound to just make him upset and likely guilty.
People change, and bodies age. Hormones, stress, age, and so many other factors go into fitness. Maybe he just doesn’t like working out anymore. Don’t focus on the fact that you want your engagement photos to show off his rockin’ bod – your engagement pictures should show off how happy you two are to be getting married. That sort of pressure to look good for pictures or your wedding day is just feeding a short term goal, not a lifestyle change. At the end of the day, you have to choose to accept who he is, flabby or not.
Post # 6
Yeah, it’s a decision he has to make and come to on his own.
Post # 7
Yeah I’ve tried. He wants to work out, he’s just at a loss of where to get the motivation. In other words, running in this heat doesn’t appeal to him and at night when it’s cooler he’d rather watch a show.
So he wants to work out, it’s just a matter of how I can help him do so.
Post # 8
I understand where you are coming from. I used to date guys who were buff and so incredibly strong. My Fiance is a farmer and he does not have a six pack but he’s strong as a bull. Honestly, I think that is the most sexiest thing in the world though. I love that my fiance doesnt have a six pack and super defined abs because thats not the guy who I fell in love with. I understand that you want your pictures to look nice and that you want him to look nice, but honestly, how he looks on the outside shouldnt matter. Whether he is super defined, a little chubby, or very heavy, you should think he is sexy no matter what. I understand where you are coming from but try not to get so wrapped up in his apperance and remember the reasons why you fell in love with him to begin with. That is the stuff that matters. Maybe when his weight stops being brought up, he will start working out 🙂
Post # 9
OMG if my Fiance started hinting around that I needed to work out more I would be crushed… if you love him and his health isnt affected then who cares… just keep cooking healthy and drop it. dont make him feel self conscious poor guy
Post # 10
I think I worded my post a bit too strongly on how he looked before.
Apologies, and I still think he is gorgeous and sexy, it’s different from before, yes, but I’m still highly attracted to him. And he’s also very concerned about the pics and how he’s going to look because he wants to look back on the photos and love the way he looks…
He’s insecure right now about his weight and I’ve never walked up to him and be like, “you’re fat, change.” No. But he’s getting pretty down on himself and I’m just looking for ways to help motivate him is all….
Post # 11
Once again, never hinted it to him…he’s brought it up. Just trying to find ways to encourage him….
Post # 12
I don’t know how to get your SO to work out more but if you figure it out PLEASE tell my husband the secret lol
Post # 13
The motivation has to come from within. He may even be worried that he can’t keep up with you because he’s out of shape. Maybe you can begin by just being more active together. Going to the park, tossing a ball around, frisbee, paddleboats, canoes, taking long walks/ hikes together are all ways to be more active without working out. Try selecting a workout DVD together and doing it together, in the house a few nights a week. Once he gets his confidence back he will want to step it up a notch and eventually he will be able to join you.
Post # 14
Maybe my post came across to strong, im sorry girl! I understand where you are coming from now 🙂 Working out comes from motivation and sometimes motivation isnt there, I know sometimes I dont have motivation either! lol I hope that he gets the motivation to get back to where he feels good about himself. Im sure everything will work out!! Good luck girly!
Post # 15
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
What about taking up a sport or something? Lots of places have adult leagues so if you can find something that is exercise, but doesn’t feel like exercise he might be up for that.