(Closed) How Did You Handle People who Assumed They Would be Invited?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3167 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i’d probably just ignore her and hope she gets the hint, but i’ve been keeping a low profile on FB as is. you can tell her the date but if she’s not invited, tell her in the same breath.

Post # 4
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Ocean: I would tell her it’s a small intimate celebration for you,  FI, and your family.

Post # 5
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Ocean: People like this mean well. Just email her and tell her you greatly appreciate her happiness for you but you were having an intimate ceremony of close family only.

Post # 6
Member
2825 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’m so not “proper” about this kind of stuff… and I avoid confrontation whenever possible.  So when I’ve been asked when the wedding is and/or if they are invited I just say that we haven’t set a date yet.  And I try to not mention anything about the wedding on facebook.

Post # 7
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

keep saying “small wedding” that’s what I did.

Post # 8
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@o0olibelulao0o: Honey you will be a pro by time April comes. Promise. People will come out the woodwork asking for invites.

I had a cousin I haven’t seend since Bush Jr was President calling and asking for an invite. Yeah, I never sent her one

Post # 9
Member
949 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh man, that is not cool. So far I haven’t been confronted with that, but a couple of times when I realized I was about to talk wedding stuff to someone I don’t plan to invite, I just threw around some “Yeah, we’re keeping it pretty small…” kind of talk. I guess in that situation I would just try to pull it together and tell her that it’s going to be a very small guest list, maybe say something about being honored that she was willing to make plans to come?

Post # 10
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m planning a small wedding too, but I have the added benefit of my small wedding being far away from most of the people asking about it.  So I can tell them “Oh, well, we’re going to have the wedding in Maine.  It will be a small family wedding.”

Once more of my (univited) friends get word of the up coming wedding I’ll have to adjust it a bit “The wedding will be in Maine.  We’ve planned for a really small, wedding.  We don’t get to see our families as often as we’d like, so we really would like to be able to share this time with them in a more intimate setting.  I’m planning to be in [D.C / Seattle] for work in the next couple months though.  Should I give you a call when I’m in town?”

The best response is usually “Thank you so much for your well wishes!  It’s so nice to know that you love and support me enough to want to be at my wedding!  Unfortunately, we simply can’t accommodate everyone that we wish we could invite.  We’re trying to keep the wedding small and intimate, and that meant not inviting some pretty special people.  I certainly hope that we can catch up [at a time that would make sense].”

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