Post # 1
The invitations clearly said Mr and Mrs on the outside
The inside envelope had the couples names…. such as Mary and John
No kids listed and today 2 people said oh the kids are going to love this wedding
Another said, I bought my daughter a sundress for the wedding
How do you handle that in a nice way? Why does it make me feel rude?
It is a semiformal event with a plated dinner, open bar and dancing. Just not a typical “child friendly atmosphere” other than the wedding party children.
The meal is $70 a pop~ and how I am stressing over this for the venue ONLY holds a certain amount of people. IT is causing stress that is just not needed. Daughter has enough and I’m hitting max with just little issues like this. Where have the manners disappeared???
Post # 3
That’s so frustrating. I think usually people need a very clear indication, like “We have reserved 2 seats for you.” Since some guests seem to be confused, you can politely say something like “I’m sorry if there’s been any confusion, but the reception is adults-only.” Since you’re not inviting any children, they should understand.
Post # 4
We told people that our venue was not large enough for us to invite their children as well. It usually went something like this:
Guests: “We are so excited about the wedding! I just bought Little Jenny the perfect dress for it!”
Us: “Aw, I hope you can still return it. Our venue doesn’t have enough room for everyone AND their children, so we only included the children in our wedding party. Will you be able to find a babysitter, or can someone stay home with the kids?”
Guests: “Um, they aren’t invited?”
Us: “No. They are not.”
Guests: “Well we won’t be able to find a babysitter…”
Us: “You have three months, I’m sure you can find someone who will be free.”
Guests: “Well if the kids aren’t invited then we aren’t coming.”
Us: “We’re so sorry you’ll miss it! We’ve made it a very special and intimate event, but we understand if you would rather stay home with the kids.”
The thing to keep in mind is that THEY are being rude. You have to clearly set the boundary/rule and abide by it. Once you’ve made an exception, then you risk offending all the people who DID follow the rules.
Post # 5
It was really tough, and I felt a little rude, but I just told them that I was really sorry for the misunderstanding, but we were unable to accommodate children. Most parents were really understanding. It’s tough, but it has to be done otherwise if other parents find out “so and so” are bringing their children then they’ll think it’s ok for them to bring theirs as well.
Have you though about maybe hiring a babysitter and having all the kids go there? It would be much cheaper than paying the $70 a plate!
Post # 6
This is truly frustrating. We did the “We have reserved ___ seats in your honor” but some still responded with additional guests.
I 100% agree with mightysapphire. I know how hard it is to tell people no, especially something as awkward as this but you have to keep it in mind that it is not your obligation to include their children.
Post # 7
Mightysapphire…. keep telling myself that
Why do I feel rude??? Lordy lordy!
Post # 8
@msgthoney, we did the same “we have reserved— seat(s) in your honor and had about 3-4 people add additional guests….and about 10 people call, email or text requesting to bring a date….I was like are you illiterate, it says ONE!!