(Closed) How did you know he was the one?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@ladybugmommy2010:  I would always ask myself, will this guy be a good partner AND a good father?  This is why I ended all but one of my many relationships b/c they did not fit the bill.  My Fiance did and I knew it around 3 months of dating so I held on to him tight!!  We’ve been together for 4.5 years and engaged for 8 months and he mostly certainly is a great partner and I can’t wait for him to be my husband and a daddy. 

Post # 5
Member
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Because he is an AMAZING, GOOD, HONEST, CARING and a SENSITIVE MAN.

It took a bit of time, after my coming out of a 25 Year Abusive Relationship to SEE THE LIGHT… and what a truly healthy relationship could look like (YES ladies we deserve these types of men… they just aren’t always the ones we are most attracted to… how we love the Bad Boys eh?)

But he hung in there… because he saw something in me that shone thru… a glimmer of the gal I used to be before LIFE got in my face.

Essentially I’d say that we both knew early on that we were smitten with each other… Just because I had had so much pain in my previous relationship that I was shy to admit it (take the risk / leap of faith)

My Guy… is quick to help his friends, come to the aid of someone in need, holds doors open for people, and is known to cry openly at Wakes, Funerals, Weddings and Sad Movie Scenes… and he is quite happy to tell the WHOLE WORLD that he loves me… and ONLY ME and can’t wait to spend the rest of his life with me (and he’ll even then give me a quick kiss even in front of strangers to seal the deal)

And this man is over 60.

He rocks my world !!

I am one very very lucky girl !!

 

Post # 6
Member
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Reason why I called back after the First Date: The way he dressed, he was respectful, he showed interest in me as a person, he was not upset that he did not even get a kiss on the first date

Dates After: He was fun, spontaneous, open minded, loved to try new things. His interests were alot like mine, yet he challenged me mentally.

I knew he was the one: When he was playing with my baby niece and the smiles that were on the both of their faces.

Post # 7
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@ladybugmommy2010:  Thank you! 

@This Time Round:  I had to comment on your post!  Good for you for seeing the light b/c some never do and it’s an awful waste.  We are all deserving of great things and although I hate you went through your bad experience, even though I don’t know you, I feel so proud of you that you had the courage to stand up and live the life you deserve.   Soak it up and enjoy every minute b/c it is well deserved!

Post # 8
Member
1543 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Well i knew within days of meeting him. It pretty much was love at first sight.  but over the years we def went through our ups and downs and i had some doubts if we really had what i takes but then once we came back up for good – i looked back and realized he was always there for me no matter happened. He never doubted me and he never let me leave because he knew I loved him too much. Now I know that even if we do fall again I know we’ll come back up because we always have.  Our 4 year anniversary is in 3 months. And now we’re engaged and planning our wedding. And I can’t wait  to marry the love of my life! 

Post # 9
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I knew what I was looking for after my first ex who was everything a woman could want. Except he just wasn’t right for me. He had to be a lot more than sweet, kind, funny and nice. I wanted a partner that partook in my interests, liked the same things I did, enjoyed the same foods, activiities etc.When I found someone who was a match- that was that.

Post # 10
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I was smitten the moment I laid eyes on Fiance. It was years before we could actually date though and when we finally could the first year of our dating was rough. If I hadn’t been so head over heels I would (and should at some points) been gone. He had a horrible time trusting and believing in love. He had a horrible past all the way up to 3 years ago. There were a lot of issues that needed to be handled. It would have been easier to cut and run butI knew he was the one. One day though, I had reached my limit. He kept keeping my just far enough out of reach and wouldn’t really let me in. He said something in me changed and he knew I was leaving. It scared him to think of me leaving and his walls came tumbling down. He opened up to me, we both cried, he was a different man. He loves me without holding back now and is very open about how stupid he was and also grateful for how I handled it. He finally feels safe being in a loving relationship and it took work but he is so worth it. Not the traditional love story I know but all the trials and tribulations have made us stronger.

Post # 11
Member
5177 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

I knew he was the one because:

1. He is curious about me and who I really am.

2. He is open and honest with me about who he was.

3. I can totally be myself – and be accepted for myself – with him.

4. He is always true to his word.

5. We could, did and do talk about everything in a very open and accepting way.

6. He is a lot of fun. He has a crazy sense of humour that has me in stitches, an excitement for life and experiences, and challenges me out of my own comfort zone. He has a wonderful energy to seize all that life has to offer and encouraging others to do the same.

7. He is incredibly supportive of my own personal growth and my biggest “cheerleader”.

8. He is totally trustworthy.

9. He is there for me no matter what. Whether I have some bad news, or we disagree on an issue, we work together as a team, can work together and be there for each other.

10. I have never had to question how he feels. He is always incredibly verbal and physically demonstrative of how he feels about me and our life together. He is passionate and excited about me and our life.

11. We can be totally authentic with each other.

12. He is very self-aware and emotionally mature and intelligent. And even when he has his own days where he feels a bit snippier, he lets me know how he is feeling, and what he needs, whether it is time alone or time together, without attacking me. And if he does snip at me? He apologizes right away.

13. He has a high degree of personal responsibility. He does not play the victim card, and recognizes he has choices in life.

14. We are best friends. We can play, laugh, confide, cry, dream, learn, and so on together. We are “safe” together.

15. We “get” each other. Not because we read minds, but because we take the time to know each other and be knnown by each other.

16. He is intelligent and curious about life and everything in it. We meet each other on an intellectual and mental level, which is also very important.

17. Because with him I find tremendous freedom, yet feel very grounded.  We are very stable and strong, and both find our personal individuality to be embraced and encouraged.

18. He is patient, kind, warm, loving, compassionate…yet also strong in knowing who he is and not being afraid to tell the truth even if it is not what others want to hear.

19. We share similar values, lifestyles, interests (not all the same, but many are, and the others are compatible or totally accepted and encouraged), compatible goals and so forth.

20. Because, while I am sure that there may be more than one “one” for me in the world, he is the “one” that had me want to stop looking. He IS my “one”.

21. He really is the whole package, for me, and I feel very, very blessed.

 

And no, we never broke up or anything like that. We met when I was 29, he was 34. We dated, and moved across the country about five months later due to work changes and moved in together. We were engaged about 7 months after that, and married 2.5 months after that. We knew very early on we had something pretty special, and knew early on after that we were ready and wanting to spend our lives together.

Post # 12
Member
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Ms Flamenco:  Thanks for your kind words.

My heart breaks every time I read a post here in WBee from a girl who is having major issues with the LOVE of her life… trust me true love shouldn’t be this hard !!

The over-used saying “this stuff makes you stronger” is outright BS… it just is an easy way to make an excuse to decide that you don’t want to go out and find something (deserve) something better !!

(I can certainly attest to that, because it was my belief system for over 20 years)

Sure life will deal you things like health woes, and friends, family members and pets who die etc (stuff we as humans don’t get a lot of say about) … we all face those hurdles from time-to-time.

BUT the day-in-day-out “being” with the one you love should never be difficult… REAL TRUE LOVE shouldn’t be a struggle… it should be a joy to be together.

I lived “on eggshells” for 20 Years… it stole my youth, my energy and my joy.  It took me 10 long years to find myself again, the girl I was 30 years ago BEFORE I married my first husband.

I have many memories from my first marriage, including some good ones… like the birth of children… but there were more sad / bad days than pleasant… so I am very happy that that chapter in my life has finally closed.

Looking very much forward to this one…

 

Post # 13
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

when SO and i first got together, i was 18. i told my mum at the time that i could imagine marrying him. sounds like it was pretty straight forward, right? nope.

we were on and off for a while, then steadied for about 3 years. it was wonderful, but i was still very young (still am!) and we both had issues we were not dealing with. we ended up breaking up after 3.5 years together. we were apart for 2 years, during which i moved abroad. it was difficult for both of us, but more so for him since he knew straight away we had made a mistake, but i stubbornly went my own way and tried to convince myself we broke up for a reason.

well, we did break up for a reason. we needed time to be alone and to grow into ourselves a little. last year, we reconnected and it was the right time, we both knew this was it and we were ready to work on what problems remained after we had matured during our time apart. 7 months on, and we’re getting engaged very very soon 🙂 i am so grateful that he believed in us and waited for me to realise that we were supposed to be together. he was a very patient man and i consider myself incredibly lucky.

Post # 14
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hmm.. I don’t think there’s ever been a time that I went “Oh! Now I know he’s the one!”. I think it’s been more of a gradual thing, but it’s because he’s loving and caring and kind and amazing; because we don’t have to work hard at our relationship, it’s much more natural than I ever expected a relationship to be; because he’s fantastic to me, takes care of me, and never ever played games. We met in college six years ago (I was 18, he was 22), so not playing games was a big deal in a guy! I’ve always known exactly how he felt about me. I may not have always been up for where our relationship was going (especially feeling so “into” and committed to a guy at 18, kinda scary, especially when you’re first starting college. Worth it in the end though!), but being with him has always made me ridiculously happy. In fact, he’s supposed to be getting up soon from sleeping and even after living together for five years, getting to see him STILL makes me excited (it’s the little things in life ;)). We’re getting married this weekend and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. 

Post # 15
Member
9482 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I just knew.

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