(Closed) how did you know hes the right one?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2395 posts
Buzzing bee


I knew he was The One because ….  

  • I didn’t ever wonder whether I was doing the right thing. I felt calm and peaceful about us getting married and being together forever.  
  • Unlike my previous relationships, there was no drama, arguing or fighting. To this day we’ve never had a real fight per se, just a few differences of opinion here or there that were quickly resolved. We’re very compatible in our values, ethics, personalities, senses of humor, etc.
  • He has strong integrity. This was super important to me simply because some of my previous BFs were painfully lacking in that area. The whole time we were dating, Darling Husband was sure and steady, true blue and faithful, a man of his word. 
  • He always was (and still is) going out of his way to watch out for me, take care of me, help me.

I adore my husband! He took me out to lunch this afternoon and he had that smiling, “in love” look on his face whenever he looked at me. We’ve been married two years this month — together four years as a couple — and the honeymoon is going strong.  I thank my lucky stars every day.

Post # 4
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

i was engaged before but called it off 9 months prior to the wedding.

this time i just know. i don’t have doubts about this like i did before. this time i keep thinking “oh man i’m actually going to get married this time”. so i think i knew that the last one wasn’t it. 


Post # 5
1681 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@BelliniChic:  I knew Darling Husband was the one for me when my grandmother was in the ICU and he spent all of her last night holding me as we laid on the hospital waiting room floor. 

I knew Darling Husband would be husband because he’s responsible, respectable, mature, light headed, and loving. My life would be totally empty without him.

Post # 6
1886 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@katydaisy:  I am marrying my fiancé because we love one another, are compatible/have similar goals and values, and are willing to work hard to resolve problems. I don’t believe in “the one” or soulmates, but we make a damn good team and I can see us being happy together for life. 

Post # 7
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

There was never any moment of realization or “aha” for me….it just kind of happened.  After awhile when I thought about the future he was there, and I didn’t want to imagine a future without him.  Much like the PP, I don’t beleive in “soulmates,” but I know that we love each other and want to make a life together.  

Post # 8
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@katydaisy:  I knew when he was the one because:  

1. We could be in the worst of situtaions (the trip from hell, lost luggage, being sick, moving) and yet it was alright as long as we were together.

2.  When we realized that we were stronger together than we ever were apart.

3.  I felt comfortable enough to let down my guard and tell him the stuff about myself that I had never told anyone else.

4.  When there was a distinct lack of drama in our relationship (trust me you don’t miss it).

5.  When I had good or bad news he was the first person I wanted to tell (and sometimes the only person).

6.  When I realized that while could function on my own, and be completely on my own… but I didn’t want to, and I didn’t want to share my life with just anyone, it had to be him and only him.  We aren’t together because we have to be, we’re together because we want to be.

Post # 9
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

All the things that other Bees have said above (and what others will say in their replies below this one)

But for me PERSONALLY… it comes down to this:

I was married previously… I spent 20+ years in an abusive marriage

For me it comes down to a very simple equation.

There is NO DRAMA part.  Life is easy, comfortable and secure.

But beyond all that…

It is a man who is head over heels in love will ALWAYS put your needs above all else

He lives to make your life better, and you inturn become a better person

It is something that is hard to explain… it isn’t a tangible thing

It is just something you see in yourself… feel & know over time

It is like a plant…

You live every day in the light, with the nurturing you need that fills your thirst … and you grow and prosper.

You are never kept in the dark, starved of affection, or stunted by someone’s demands and their own life.


Post # 10
1651 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’ve only been with my Darling Husband for just over 2 years, married 3 – 4 months, but I’ll say this from the relationship books I’ve read and because my response is less romantic:


– you marry someone with very similar values

– However, there is no mr. right. You have to do the work to make the relationship the best it can be – putting in time into the relationship. willing to be forgiving. willing to be vulnerable. and when you’re married, you wake up every day committing to the same person even if that person or your circumstances have changed.


I took a HUGE leap of faith in marrying my Darling Husband. We didn’t know each other very well at the time, but we both had a feeling – probably from God – that we were meant for each other because we both challenged each other a lot in our weakest areas, while bringing out each others’ strenghts.

Post # 11
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

when i felt more at home being with him at his place than at my own house..i get this sense of ..tbis is where i belong

Post # 12
730 posts
Busy bee

Nobody can really know. Somewhere around 40% of marriages end in divorce and not all the couples that stay together are necessarily happy. 

If you’re compatible and have healthy ways of communicating and dealing with problems then that’s good and you don’t really need a specific reason that sticks out for knowing he’s the right one. For all you know you could be happily married until you die, you could end up miserable 10 years from now, or he could get hit by a bus 6 months after your wedding. 

Post # 13
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I knew he was special the moment we were introduced to each other BUT I knew he was the one I wanted to marry when all of the following just fell into place:

1) When I couldn’t imagine my life without him. He’s my best friend. The one I can tell anything to and not worry about judgement. 

2) When I realized that he cared more for my needs than his own (and vice versa) 

3) When we found a way to grow together, instead of apart, through high school/college/university/broke 20’s phase and are still crazy about each other. It wasn’t always easy!

4) His laid back personality balances my sometimes uptight/sometimes perfectionist personality.

5) He’s just a good person in general. The kind that would give the shirt off his back to help someone in need kind of guy

Just so many reasons…I could go on and on!



Post # 14
4932 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I knew he was the right one because whenever I thought about it there was no doubt that he was the right one. Even with flaws (which we all have), I knew 100%. 

ETA It was more than just “knowing” … it was more sure than that. I’m not even sure how to put it into words. 

Post # 15
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

The simplicity of our love. We didn’t have to try at all. It just existed.

It was almost as if he had “hello I am your husband” tattooed on his forhead.

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