How did you know they were the "one"?

posted 8 months ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
640 posts
Busy bee

sassy411 :  Wish there was someone like you in my life at that time to keep me from making that horrible mistake! yell 

Post # 32
Member
6129 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

mindzoo :  I just realized who you are. I’ve read all your posts in the past…

Time for some bluntness: this is not the guy for you. This is not the relationship for you. You need to break up and move on. The time for second guessing is over. You’ve been contemplating if this is the right relationship for you almost the entire time you’ve been in it. The answer is it’s NOT. 

Post # 33
Member
9325 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

queenie8119 :  

Me, too!

Most of us get pulled in at some time in our lives.  We’re wonderful, caring, loving people.  We just need to work on being clear eyed.

It was especially tough for me because of my background and my naturally psychological turn of mind.  Finding a healthy relationship requires developing a certain ruthlessness about rejecting the damaged ones, no matter how convinced you may be that it’s all the fault of his horrid family.

If it’s any comfort, they make a lot of that stuff up.

Post # 34
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Same as a lot of other bees, I don’t believe in “the one”. I believe in meeting the right person at the right time.

When I met my fiancé, I had recently left an emotionally problematic relationship which left me with some trust issues. I was very straightforward about them and he always reassured me, let me know when he was meeting female friends (not asking permission, just letting me know), he just obviously cared about my feelings. AND he also cares about other people. He is unfailingly polite to restaurant and supermarket staff. He is quick to notice when strangers need a hand. He’s a big guy and can look a little rough but especially elderly people take to him immediately. He has a good relationship with his family and with mine. He was open to meeting my friends and keen for me to meet his friends. He likes kids. He is gentle with animals. He has a wonderfully stupid sense of humour. We have been together for over three years now and we still have not had a real fight – not because we don’t disagree but because we are both great at finding compromises. From the start he, too, wanted a committed relationship.

Sure, things aren’t perfect. He could be a little less messy. He could be a little more career-driven. He could have agreed to move in a little sooner and speeded up the engagement. 

But on every day of our relationship I’ve felt loved, respected, cared for and protected. He has never let me doubt that I am the person he wants to spend time with. Not every minute of the day but preferably every day of his life. We could absolutely live on without each other but we both choose not to because life is better when we’re together. 

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