(Closed) How did you know when you were ready for a baby?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My husband and I are both very family oriented. We are with his family most weekends and see my family a few hours away every 6-8 weeks. Having a family of our own is a huge priority for both of us, and so we didn’t feel like we needed to wait very long to travel more or anything like that. Most of our regular activities are very family friendly – going hiking, camping, to local parks, movies, bike rides, etc… We are 26 and 30, and both are done with grad school and have a job in our career field. 

That being said, the closer we got to the time we originally decided I’d go off birth control, the less ready I felt. It’s a huge change. So hubs and I decided that we would wait until we both felt like we were ready three days in a row. That ended up being 2 weeks after our wedding, and 8 weeks after our wedding we got our first positive test. The irony was that once we decided to wait a little bit, I realized I was ready. It’s just really big, and in the weeks leading up to the wedding I wasn’t really feeling able to handle both.

I felt ready because there is nothing that I feel the need to do before we have kids. Saving more money, traveling more, having a year to ourselves would be great. But to me it just wasn’t worth putting off having a child. And everywhere we went, all I could think about was how awesome it would be to have our child with us. I kept hoping that “next year we might be doing this or going here with our child”. My husband and I love each other very much, but we both feel like our lives will only be better with a child. It will be a big adjustment, but we don’t have to change or stop doing the things we love, since they are kid-friendly already.

 

Post # 4
Member
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I took a pregnancy test and the baby was like “Ready or not, here I come mommy!” And thus began my journey into pregnancy. Seriously though, we wanted to wait until next year. I don’t even know why now-we are so excited and it seems like the perfect time! I did go off the pill a few months before our wedding, but I never thought I would get pregnant right away.  Dumb on my part I guess. I know this doesn’t answer your question-I guess what I mean is that I wasn’t 100% ready at first, but now I am 1000% ready as anyone could be with their first pregnancy. I’m sure I’ll be shell shocked when baby gets here.

Post # 5
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

With our age and life goals, we decided that we’d have a family about two years after getting married. When we decided that, we both weren’t quite ready, but with the timeline in mind, we both started to think about it more and more, got used to the idea and now, we both feel ready. We are working hard towards achieving our pre-baby life goals, and we’ll be done with them soon and be able to move on to our next goal, starting a family.

I always wanted a family but there is a difference between the theory and the reality! Putting a timeline on it helped me to feel more ready because I had to think about it in a more real way – if that makes any sense.

Post # 6
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

We still don’t know, but are making strides towards being ready. We literally went from “No way, we’ll be swingers and live in the city forever!” to “Oooh, this house in the suburbs looks nice, let’s save for a downpayment!” so I think it won’t be too long until we’re ready. It’s gradual though..

Post # 7
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We were completely surprised by ours- turns out it IS a big deal if you miss one pill in your packet! It shocked us and totally threw us for a loop, but I think it worked out better that way because like a PP said, if it had come down to me choosing to stop taking birth control and actively “try to conceive” I don’t know that I’d have had the balls to go through with it. It is the biggest commitment you will ever make (moreso even than getting married) and I imagine it would be terrifying to make the decision you’re going to start trying to become a parent, even if you are excited about it and look forward to it. I don’t regret becoming a parent, but I think I’m glad it was unexpectedly thrust upon me. I’m a lot better at rolling with the punches than throwing the punches it turns out.

Post # 8
Member
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

We are of the camp that we made an actual decision for me to stop taking my pill and go for it.  While I’d love (in hindsight) to have done it the was that @ohheavenlyday did, I guess life just wanted it this way for us.  

 

You’re never ready.  If you wait until you’re ready you’ll never have a kid.  I hope it doesn’t take us forever.  I have a hard time waiting!

Post # 10
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We aren’t TTC yet but our plan is to be ready by the time Darling Husband finish’s grad school.  That’s in 3 years but I’m thinking I’ll be ready in atleast 1 or 2.  Financially it’s not a good idea to have a kid before then.  I think that final goal of graduation is easy for us to set our sights on.  It makes it a definiate time frame and plenty of time to practice and save up!  I know it’ll be tough if I want to ttc before the 3 years, living off my 1 salary him doing clinical all the time. I do have this dream of being pregnant at his graduation, but that’s a secret dream for now!

Post # 11
Member
2820 posts
Sugar bee

I wanted a little married time with my husband too even though we had lived together for a few years before.  We settled on a year before trying and I’m glad we had that time with just the two of us because it was nice to really settle into a life with him.  But I think I’ll always worry about our jobs, which have a bit crazy schedules at times.  I thought about delaying for a bit when I realized it was probably a bad time to have kids but looking around at the people I work with, there just is no good time, so that’s actually what really did it.  Since there’s never a good time career wise, might as well go for it now when we want them. 

Post # 12
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t know how we’ll know.  We’re both finished school, and have jobs in our fields, we make a decent salary, but don’t have a house (so expensive here).  I think for us that’s what will do it.  We decided to throw caution to the wind and be like… pft, you can have a baby in a condo, but have kind of gone back on it now, and are back to using BC because we have a few more things we want to do.

We’re thinking maybe in the new year.  We’re both gun shy about change, so I think it’ll have to be one of those things that we just do.

 

Post # 13
Member
631 posts
Busy bee

We decided the time was right, and I didn’t want to be an older mom, so we went of the pill and went for it.  Even so, when I found out I was pregnant I was shocked.  (Silly I know!)  It took a while to feel like I was ready….

Good luck!

Post # 14
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We just got married but lived together and already had a house etc.  We are still having fun just being us and setting up the house the way we want it. 

I said we wouldn’t seriously talk about it until our first anniversary.  Around that time we will discuss it again depending on where our lives are at that point. 

Post # 15
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I dont even want to think about kids for atleast 10 years 🙂

Post # 16
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

i dont know when you are ever ready, if you know you want it, you just have to go for it. we are going to start trying in april or may!

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