(Closed) How did you know when you were ready to date again?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1404 posts
Bumble bee

Did you just kiss once?  I think you should try to stop thinking and just see what happens.  I know, much easier said than done.  I have had to do that in my relationship recently.  But, I am so much happier.  There is not so much pressure anymore.  

Post # 5
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@pec1216: I’m a little confused.  You tell us about a relationship with a guy who seems to really respect you…and then you ask us if you should call it off?  🙂  I think it sounds great that you guys are taking your time, it means that you can go at a comfortable pace and not say to yourself, “oh crap, I’m in over my head!”  I say stick with it, girl!  And, since it has been a little while, maybe this is a conversation you bring up with him?  You mention you’ve known each other since you were kids…are you comfortable being straight forward with him in terms of your past relationship and where the two of you are now both physically and emotionally?

Post # 6
Member
3102 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

how old are you guys? honestly, i would think it was strange. i know it’s a hard conversation to have, but you have to have it! my current SO took things slowly, which has become much more important to me as i’ve gotten older. but not that slow…

Post # 8
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I started dating my husband 1 month after a breakup(3 year relationship) and honestly i wasn’t ready – i wasnt seeing anyone else but i was not ready to make the commitment and be someone’s girlfriend. Lucky for me he stuck around 😉 (seriously i am so lucky he didn’t just drop me because i didnt want a relationship) and within 3 months of that day i was his “girlfriend” but I had to warm up to the idea.. I like you had trust issues in my last relationship so jumping into something else was just not sitting right with me. I wanted to continue to see him, i really liked him, so i made the choice to do this differently than any other relationship i’ve had. I was completely open and honest with him about past relationships, insecurites, finances…things i kept hidden or didn’t really discuss in my last relationship and i swear it saved me and made my relationship 10000000000 times better than any other relationship i’ve had.

i, like you, had my fair share of debauchery and running around having fun while i am the 3rd person my husband has ever been with sexually. It was strange for me, but think about him and how intimidated he must have by me! he admitted it. Maybe your friend is just as intimidated by you as my husband was.

my advice: if you like him…explore it a bit longer. be honest about your feelings and your needs and see where he stands.

maybe you should initiate?

Post # 9
Member
3102 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

 

you are young. go have fun. i can tell that’s what you want. there is no reason to be settling into a serious relationship when it sounds like there are a lot of things you want to do! i’m 33, which is older than i thought i would be in terms of settling down, but i’ve lived different places and had cool (and uncool) jobs and made friends everywhere and just LIVED. go do that.

Post # 10
Member
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

You have nothing to lose by having an honest conversation with him. I think it is only fair since you’ve been family friends for awhile. And if you are going to be in a relationship, you have to be able to talk to each other, even uncomfortable conversations. 

Post # 11
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Definitely be honest with this guy . . . . if you don’t want anything serious, then you may be wasting his time.  Please don’t break his heart and/or lead him on . . . take him seriously . . . sometimes it’s kinder to recognize that you both want two different things and just let him go than it is to drag it out when you know it can’t work out.  

Post # 13
Member
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t think you should talk about his history. It’s not an issue. He could have slept with 100 woman and still want to go slowly with you. 

You need to discuss what is going on between the two of you. Tell him how you feel– you like him, are enjoying getting to know him better, but are confused if this is moving forward to dating or not. 

Post # 15
Member
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@pec1216: Wait until he is stress free. Nothing about what is happening between the two of you is so urgent that it can’t wait until a face to face meeting can happen.

Post # 16
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@pec1216: Hmmm.  You’ll need to gauge the situation carefully, but you should talk with him.  If you or he starts getting uncomfortable, you can always drop the subject.  Good luck and let us know how it goes!

The topic ‘How did you know when you were ready to date again?’ is closed to new replies.

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