How did you know you were "ready" to start TTC??

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 15
Member
9281 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

We were NTNP when I got pregnant, but our decision to NTNP was bc we’d done all the things on our checklist that we wanted to get done before having a baby. Well, since dh actually wanted a baby ages ago, I guess I should say that I did all the things on my checklist… mainly, getting my JD, passing the bar, buying a house, and feeling sufficiently stable in my career. Then it was like, ok, guess now’s as good a time as any.

Fwiw I felt the most amazing/beautiful I’ve ever felt when pregnant, as strange as that may be! My body’s not 100% again (I’m about 5 weeks postpartum), but it’ll get there.

Post # 16
Member
7751 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It was more external factors that made me ready than a deep internal conviction that I want kids NOW! Being 32 with a history of infertility in my family, and wanting to have 2-3 kids, I was kinda just like yeah I guess it’s time, and dh agreed. TTC took 6 months/5 cycles (and we went balls to the wall from the first cycle with temping, opks, the works), with a MC and some CP’s thrown in there…a definite rocky road. I’m glad we began when we did, though I simultaneously wish we’d had another decade to enjoy married life and be footloose and fancy free! Unfortunately, time is not on the side of us ladies.

Post # 17
Member
730 posts
Busy bee

hemiandhighheels :  i’m starting to feel like this more and more everyday as well in terms of slowing down on the going out. Now I find myself prefering nights in with hubby or board games and drinks with friends versus hitting the bar. At this point I only seem to go “out” with people if it’s for a reason like a birthday, going away or some sort of bar crawl or drinking holiday. I also think that once we get in a house the baby fever will really set in. The only thing that could get in the way is the fact that my husband does a good deal of traveling for work… not sure how we would work an infant into that since I work full time as well. Pretty soon I feel like i’m going to be like what are we waiting for? Maybe that’s the moment everyone is talking about. hhahaha 

Post # 19
Member
328 posts
Helper bee

For us, our ages drove our TTC timeline (I was almost 34 when we got married, my husband was 38), but we were in a financial and career place where it felt right. We had bought the house we planned to raise our family in, and both of us were solidly set in our careers (we are both lawyers, had practiced for about 8 years, and were at our “forever” jobs), and we had plenty of money in the bank. 

I totally hear your fears – but dont worry too much. I start back at work next week, and at 12 weeks PP I look pretty much identical to when I got pregnant  I’m about 4 lbs over my prepregnancy weight, but I’ve decided to attribute that to my new boobs 🙂 Also, I REALLY swole up – not with fat, it turns out, but water weight. My legs and feet looked horrendous. And yeah, it was hard. Prepregnancy I was 5’10 and 134, so to say i wasn’t used to carrying extra weight would be an understatement. But, like everything pregnancy, childbirth, and children related, it’s all temporary. 🙂

Post # 20
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

We were also NTNP when we got pregnant (a think a few days after going off birth control). I’m 30 and husband is 31. I wanted us to have 2 years married where can enjoy us before having children so timing wise we nailed that almost perfectly. We’ve also travelled the world together too which was very important to me before having children. I’m an attorney in a pretty high stress environment and definitely plan on continuing my career post baby and not too worried about making it work. Tons of women do! I care about my body/appearance as well, but surprisingly pregnancy hasn’t been some dramatic or traumatic toll on my body. I’m a little over 7 months now tho so maybe I need to wait until after labor and delivery to speak on that issue. I feel pretty confident that I will bounce back though through careful eating and exercise post delivery. I’m still a bit worried about my time no longer being my own but ultimately we knew we wanted a family one day and we have a wonderful home and supportive family and friends. I also have a lot of friends having babies now which I think made the decision easier. We still plan on maintaining a social life – just an adjusted one! I’m also very type A and a planner and I love a good checklist. I wanted us to have our  children before I’m 35 so that also factored into my timeline.

Post # 21
Member
9787 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I thought I was ready and then this weekend my husband told me that he didn’t think he was going to feel ready by this summer (when we had discussed starting TTC) and I just felt relief more than disappointment. 

So now we are thinking maybe next year. But we are only 27/28. So even waiting 2-3 more years is a possibility. I think we just had it in our heads that around 28 would be a good time to start trying but the closer and more real it became the less ready we felt.

Post # 22
Member
730 posts
Busy bee

Soon2beMrsJennP :  I hear you on the friends having kids thing. One of my friends just recently found out she’s pregnant. Although it wasn’t planned i’d be lying if I didn’t get a pang of excitement about another friend moving into the “married with kids” phase of life because I feel like it’s easier to relate to people when you’re all on the same page. It also seems to have made my husband talk more about future kids etc. I think when you see other people doing something it makes it less scary and more of a natural transition. Prior to my friend’s pregnancy we are the only one married and/or pregnant in our close friend circle. 

Post # 23
Member
10027 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

My husband and I knew we wanted kids so after we got married we just went ahead and started trying. We’ve never felt “ready” per say, but more we had a series of goals we wanted to accomplish before we had them. For example, we wanted to be married, have a house, have stable jobs, we had also decided we wanted to start having kids by 30. So once we got married we were both 28 and by that time had a house and steady jobs. About 4/5 months shy of husbands 29th birthday we started officially trying and it took us 10 months to get pregnant. Our daughter will be born a week shy of my husbands 30th birthday and a month and a half shy of my 30th.

We had our baby shower yesterday and my husband opened a gift and held up a little baby outfit and apparently that was the time it hit him this was all real because he held it up and announced “We’re having a baby! Like we’re really having one!” In front of everyone. 😂

Post # 24
Member
9787 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

slomotion :  That’s such a sweet/funny reaction from your husband! Congrats on your pregnancy 🙂

Post # 27
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

For me, there was never going to be a “I’m ready!” point since  I’m not a big fan of kids in general.  I have moments where I’m like “yeah, that’d be cool” when you see how others have raised their kids.  

We were “ready” I guess when we kind of ran out of “excuses”, i.e. where we wanted to live, certain things we wanted to achieve (e.g. graduate).  When we finally did get a good family sized home, we decided we should start trying mid last year, keeping in mind that it could happen instantly or it could take ages… and now I’m about 5 weeks away from my due date, so that happened faster than anticipated.  

So when you do decide you’re ready, keep that in mind when planning anything big!

 

Post # 29
Member
917 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

hemiandhighheels :  Both of us had wanted to be parents for several years, so we decided to TTC right after our wedding. I have fertility problems, so I felt ready to trun right away because I had no idea how long it would take. It was really a combination of meeting the checklist we had to make sure we could provide for a baby and had met whatever pre-baby travel and personal goals we wanted to, and feeling more excited to have kids then to have disposable income/sleep in/be free to do whatever we wanted. 

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