Post # 17
@KH: “My DH and I are very financially stable, our lifestyle is condusive to kids”
This. I have been emotionally ready for kids for a long time. I know what it is like to care for babies and welcomed the challenge of raising one. But our LIFESTYLE was not ready. From 2008-2011 DH was in school and we were accruing a lot of debt. We didn’t know what our financial situation would be once he graduated so we waited to get married.
We got married in 2012 so I went off BCP. He got a good job and I already had a good job. They were just in different cities. Obviously this is not conducive to babymaking. So last fall I moved to where DH’s job is. We were NTNP but part of me was ok with not getting pregnant because it would have been awkward for me to start a new job and then go out on maternity leave right away.
So now things are more settled and we feel like we have a good idea of what we are facing so we started casually TTC this month and will become more active if I don’t get KU by June.
We are not waiting for a house. We peobably can’t afford one for another year but I don’t want to wait a second longer because I am already 32. We hope to have 2 kids and ideally before I turn 36.
Post # 18
We started TTC simply because I was 31 years old and wanted to have 2 kids before I turned 35. I didn’t have an all-encompassing urge either – it was more of a timing thing, now or never! DH and I were terrified to start. Our life was awesome! Having a baby would change everything! We live in the city, in a 1 bedroom apartment – walking distance to work, restaurants, bars, and our friends. We go to music shows, spend weekends camping, hiking, skiing, we run half-marathons and marathons, we can meet our friends at moment’s notice for mimosa brunch, etc., etc. Having a baby meant we’d have to move to the suburbs, it might even mean that we’d have to move much farther away – to where his parents live, or where mine live. Frankly, having a baby meant we’d have to grow up. The first few months of TTC, I actually breathed a little sigh of relief when AF arrived, thankful that I had one more month of city-life. As the months passed, things changed for us. Our priorities shifted. DH and I realized that we wouldn’t miss the city so much. We craved Friday nights at home with a little mini-me. Waiting for our sticky BFP has made both of realize how really, really, ready we are to welcome a baby into our lives (and how we’ll gladly trade a million mimosa brunches for a beautiful baby).
Post # 19
@MrsTidwinkle: I completely agree! I posted last week a poll on the pregnancy board asking how prepared people were, based on their prior experience with babies. The results are about 50% were very confident, some even practically raising someone else’s child. The other 50% only either observed their parents and did some research. Note that NO ONE said they were severely under-prepared. Many comments included that you learn as you go, get a good network of parents to help you (many found this on-line), and everyone is really doing the best they can with the resources they have and the child they have.
I totally get your “mommy role models”comment. I currently have two, one who works, is a step mom to a pre-teen and has an infant. I really don’t get her style (she yells a lot) and don’t care to mimic it. The second had a wet nurse, nanny and weekend “baby sitter”, so she was rarely alone with the child, again, not my style. I guess when I have a child, I’ll have to get some real role models/mentors!
Post # 20
@MrsTidwinkle: im so glad it helped you! it sure helped me a lot…and i am in the same boat in that not a single friend of mine has kids or is ttc, and we are all in our 30s! i never thought i could possibly be among the first, or that i would want to!
Post # 21
@hippomama: thank you.. That was really helpful