Post # 1
I just don’t ever think I will be fully ready! we are not young – 33 and 39, but not old either. I have had so many close friends who have had fertility issues and that scares me. I know you will never have enough money, time, etc. But what made you decide it was time to TTC?
Post # 3
I have a 3 year old son from a previous relationship. For me, I knew there would never be a perfect time, but I knew without a doubt that I wanted children. I had my house and a stable job. My relationship turned out to be not as stable as I had thought (he left when my son was an infant), but I have never regretted my decision.
Post # 4
Well, for us, we knew that we would never feel completely ready for this either. We discussed a timeline well in advance; we wanted to be married and enjoy at least one year as a couple before trying for a family, so we established that timeline and worked with it.
As we got closer to the deadline to start trying, we had had enough time to get it in our heads and feel more ready for it, so we were actually excited about TTC. We are now expecting, and while we are nervous because they’re so much we’ll have to give up, we’re also very much excited and happy because we’ll get to experience so much more than we can imagine.
Post # 5
I think age was a big factor for me. I knew I wanted kids soon, but I didn’t want to be too old when I start having them so that made me want to have kids now.
Post # 6
yeah, the good ole biological clock is most likely what will kick us in to gear.
Post # 7
We talked about it A LOT. i was ready before my hubby was and i orginally wanted to start in January but he wouldnt go for it bc he wasnt ready.(which he just needed that time to prepare) So we agreed to start in May. Well April came annd he surprised me and told me he wanted to start this month 🙂 Overall, im glad we waited and had some alone time (about 8 months married) before we started trying.-its nice to have. plus i am SO SO glad we waited until we were BOTH ready (To me that was huge, i didnt want any resentment or unsureness are his or my side.)Now were currently trying! AND yes i am still totally nervous about becoming a parent- i think thats normal. lol
Post # 8
For us when we got married we had a timeline as well if you will. And the timeline was directly related to life goals like many other girls. Like when A is achieved that is when we will start TTC.
Then back in December one of my BILs passed away unexpectedly. This shook our whole family to the core, it made no sense and taught all of us that life is too short. Waiting for xyz to do something we both really wanted was silly to us because of that. We both really wanted children of our own and knew that if it weren’t because of outside reasons that frankly at this point in our relationship -god willing – we most likely would have had one child at the least already.
After the loss we decided that it did not make sense to wait. Why wait? We were already mentally, emotionally and financially prepared. If anything were to happen to either of us we want the other to have something that is both of us. If that makes sense.
So that is hwy we decided to move up our TTC time frame.
I truly do believe there is never a perfect time for everyone. You just have to decide what is best for you & your husband and your future child.
Post # 9
We definitely talked about it a lot. We wanted to make sure we had a house (that wasn’t our 2 bedroom condo), and that we were both ready to have the responsibility of a child. We had a few things we wanted to get done in the house first, and did that…and now it’s just a waiting game for us. We’ve been trying for a while with no luck. After a certain point, I think it just clicks for you and you know you’re ready for a little one!
Something that’s really important is making sure you’re both ready. B/c a baby is hugely life changing for both of you, and if one of you isn’t ready, then there will be resentment later.
Post # 10
We bought a house together, got engaged, got married. My husband, 42, looked at me, 34, and said, “What the hell are we waiting for?”
I know it’s not that simple for a lot of couples! And you are right in that there is no perfect time. For us, it was just that we had done most of the things we wanted to do before kids came along – and our ages definitely played a big factor.
Post # 11
Having kids or kid as it will be for us was a major discussion point and issue before we got married. We actually broke up over it and Darling Husband decided that he did want to have “kid” and we got back together. He was 40 when we got married(me 30) so ever since we got back together we knew we’d be starting right after the wedding. We had already been together for 4 years, bought a house, have stable careers and we both wanted him to be as young as possible. I had always planned on having kids around 30. It was really nice having a year to mentally plan so when we actually started trying, we both felt ready. Now it needs to just happen already! 🙂
Post # 12
My hubby and I are in the middle of this decision as well. We got married in August and initially were planning to wait about 6 months before TTC. When February rolled around we decided that we were still not ready. We ran the financials and just don’t know how we could do it. We live in one of the most expensive cities in the US (San Francisco), rent an 800 sq ft 1 bedroom apartment (that we pay through the nose for), both have good jobs, but know we couldn’t afford to be down to 1 salary once baby is born (and 3 months mat leave is just not enough time, so I’d like to stay home). So we keep putting it off. The biological clock is ticking (we’re 36 and 38), but we just can’t wrap our heads around how we’d survive. We know we want kids, but at what cost?? Some days we play “Russian roulette” and figure that if it happens it happens, but it hasn’t happened yet. So I don’t know when you know….
Post # 13
We bounced back and forth on time frames and then we just decided “eh, f-it” There was never going to be a perfect time, vacations, other peoples weddings, wine festivals :), etc. I dont’ think you’re ever entirely ready for anything.
Post # 14
ditto @ mwitter80! we wanted to be married around a year before TTC. finally we just said now or never.
Post # 15
@kmw73:I can relate being in NYC living in a tiny apt but loving the city….hmm.
Post # 16
We were ready when both of us said we were ready. It took a while because I was ready but he wasn’t. Now, that we are ready, the home fever has pushed off the baby fever. I think I want a home before a baby. Hopefully (crossing fingers) that we will buy a home by the end of this year then baby next year.