(Closed) How did you know you were ready?

posted 10 years ago in TTC
Post # 17
Member
5243 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Our plans are to begin at the new year.  Those plans may change though depending on how FI’s plumbing business is doing.  I want to make sure I am able to financially provide without having to worry about money every month.  =)  Other than that, I think we’ll be ready!

Post # 18
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

im turning 21 in two weeks and am getting married in november next year (both Mr and I will be 22 at the wedding (: ) and we will be TTC at the honeymoon if not earlier. I guess for us the way we see it is we both want children, arent big travellors (veryone says to travel before having kids) have a house, just bought a brand new car (im still inlove) paying for our own wedding (25k) so we know we will be financially stable and he is working up within his firm (his an accountant) we are only waiting untill the honeymoon as we dont want to be pregnant or have a newborn at our wedding as it would become more stressfull and we wouldnt be able to go on our honeymoon that we are very excited about!

So in brief I know we are ready because we both have the desire for children, the mental, physical and emotional ability to rise a child and are financially secure and capable.

Hope this helped

Post # 19
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We have a place to live in that we love and that we can grow into.  We are both happy with our new jobs.  We had been talking about it on and off and we said that we would try over the summer.  Financially we are fine. At first we had all these stipulations as to when it would be perfect (ie. both having a Master’s degree, saving up for a house), but we realized that there is never a perfect time.  I always look to a co-worker of mine she’s 27 works a tough job with a low income, her husband works construction and barely gets jobs in the winter, they have three well-provided for kids, a house, and dogs.  If they can do it and do it well and be happy, then there wasn’t a valid reason why we couldn’t.  When we found out we were expecting earlier in the week it definitely became clear that this is what we wanted!  

Post # 21
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We will both be 26 when we get married in Aug. I would love to have a baby with Fiance about a year or so after getting married. My sister has a five and two year old I love to death. I’m super jealous of the other friends, like the one who got married less then a year agoa and is younger then me is pregnant.  I work with kids. But we live in a apartment right now and would perfer to be in a house when we have kids. Also by that  time we will be more ready moneywise to have a baby. So we are aiming for about 29-30 to start trying. I know waiting is the right choice but its really hard. 

Post # 22
Member
1731 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Oh man.  In theory I’d like to have kids.  In reality I am not sure.

In theory I’d like to have four since I love big families.  In reality I can probably only have one or two.  We are not financially stable enough for kids.  I think emotionally we would be fine.  He would make a great dad, he helped take care his sister when she was a baby.  He talks about how I would be with kids a lot.  I think I’d like us to be more than just he and I someday but right now hell no.  I always thought I’d like to have kids around 28 but thats only two years from now so um I dunno?

The last thing I’d like to do before kids is backpack through Europe, after that I will have done everything I wanted to do before having them.

Post # 23
Member
437 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Before we even got married, we talked about wanting to be married three years before we started having kids. We’ve been together almost 6 years and during that time we’ve watched couples we knew before they were dating get married and have babies. My husband is three years older than me, so a lot of his friends have kids. Amongst our siblings, none of us have kids and we’ve all been married about the same amount of time. As more of my friends have kids, I can see in a more relatable way how they change their lives. And you know, it doesn’t scare me or seem like the end of the world anymore. I’ve seen how their lives have been enriched and I’ve come to realize that having kids will be a wonderful addition to the family my husband and I are making together.

We considered trying last year somewhat because I wanted my mom to be able to see at least one grandkid, but I’m really glad we didn’t because my mom ended up passing away and it completely changed our life and situation (we have been pretty much nomads traveling to my hometown to settle her estate).

I don’t have “baby fever” and I don’t know if I’ll ever be one of those girls that LOVES holding other people’s babies and playing with them, etc. But I know I will love my own kids, and that’s what matters. And I’ve found that I DO love some of my friend’s kids a lot. Right now I feel like I would love to be an aunt. But that’s not happening any time soon!

As our third anniversary is approaching in about 6 months, my husband and I have gone through the “list” of things we want to do before we have a kid. They’re starting to fall into place: We’ve traveled a lot in three years. Especially in the last year. We scaled back where we live to travel more, and almost every place i said i wanted to visit before kids, we’ve either been to or are planning plan to go to by our anniversary. We’re looking for a house and are hoping to have one this fall. And I feel really good about the things I’ve accomplished in my career. I now work as a freelancer and i’ve set up my business in a way that I can work from home and also have a child. 

So… not TTC yet… but we will be in a few months and I’m actually really excited. I feel like I’ve come a long way since my husband and i got together. And knowing he’ll be a really great dad makes me less insecure about my parenting abilities. I also know I’ll be devouring every bit of info I can get my hands on to be a good mom. I hope it’ll be enough, but I know I can’t be perfect or raise the perfect kid because they are their own people, right?

 

Post # 24
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

This is a really interesting thread. I am like some of the pp who aren’t super “baby people” but still want kids. It is a wonder to me that anyone ever feels emotionally ready for kids…it is such a huge undertaking! We would like to wait a year after being married but that could change.

Post # 25
Member
2396 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Growing up, I always felt like I would get married and have kids because everyone else does that. I knew girls that were like “all I want is to be a mother” while I was busy thinking “all I want is a career I enjoy and do not dread every morning”. I figured I would probably be a mom at some point, but never put much thought into it. 

Then, this past year, I had two health scares that could affect my fertility and while in the doctor’s office talking about it, IT HIT ME. I want to be a mom. I want a baby. Maybe not right now, but yes, I want one and I feel ready. Not long after that discussion with my doctor did I go off of hormonal BC (with DH’s blessing). We are not actively trying, but if it happens it happens (we are not very religious with condoms anymore). If it does not happen right now, then we will start to seriously try in about 3 years. The thought of someday not being able to have them was terrifying enough for me to realize that I am more ready than I previously imagined. In some ways, it was a relief to have that feeling, because now I know that I really do want to be a mom.

Post # 26
Member
4858 posts
Honey bee

Great question!  There were a lot of factors that went into our decision.  One of them is that my parents are older (nearly 70) and not in the best of health.  It’s so important to both of us that my parents are involved in our children’s lives for as much time as possible.

Other than that, it just….hit me.  I just see us with children and I’m so excited about it.  We talk often about things we’ll do with “our kids” and places we’ll take them.  I think my DH is going to be a wonderful father and I really want to give him that joy as well as experience it for myself.

Sorry, that came out uber-cheesy, haha.  Basically, my clock has started ticking and the pros of having kids soon far outweigh the pros of waiting.

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