Post # 1
You know on all the sitcoms how couples always get together for dinner or game night? Yeah, that doesn’t seem to happen in real life. At least not for Darling Husband and I.
Darling Husband and I both moved from college to our current city, and have pretty much failed at making friends. I was by myself for 6 months and didn’t go out much (wedding planning!) and now we’re pretty comfortable with our stay-by-ourselves routine. We’re a couple hours from home and several from college. My BFF lives about 1.5 hours away, but she has a farm and is due with their first child any day.
I did just have another good friend move cross-country to now only be 30 minutes away and actually texted last night about doing some sledding, but Darling Husband and I are so anti-social, I wonder how often we’ll actually do something.
So, how did you make new friends if you moved shortly before/after the wedding? What activities did you do? And how long does this making friends process take! I wish I were still 8, and could walk up to someone on the playground and say ‘will you be my friend’ and then we’re bffs.
Post # 3
I am *so* glad you posted this! My husband and I have recently become addicted to How I Met Your Mother (we’ve watched almost the entire series on Netflix in the past month), and I was lamenting one night about how we don’t exactly have a “group” that we do everything with like those characters do. We both have friends, but we definitely don’t have a regular crowd like what those couples on sitcoms have — and exactly what you’re talking about!
I guess I’m kind of a lame responder because I don’t have any tips or a timeline. But I’m here to brainstorm and commiserate with you. 🙂
Post # 4
Are there any Bees in your area? Maybe you could plan to get together with one of them.
Post # 5
Volunteer. Find some charitable organization and volunteer there. Not only are you and yours doing something great for others, you will meet like-minded people who share interests with you.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
haha! Now I see what you meant. Clearly, I’d love to know the answer to this! For us, we spent every moment together in college, and then we moved across the country. We both have really good friends from pre-college days, but they all live super far away. I’m the youngest by far in my office, and he doesn’t really see his coworkers as out of work friends. And we do stuff like go to wineries on weekends… not quite the party type!
We would love to have other couples to hang out with. I always buy stuff for “when we have friends.” Wow, that sounds so sad haha But, I love to cook and we love to play games and stuff. We’re fun people, we just don’t have people to share that with!
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House
Im not married yet but I feel like the same thing happened to me when we moved in together. I think the best place I’ve found friends is work… is there any couples there you could get to know better? How about neighbours? People from church?
Most people are open to having new friends – it sucks, but sometimes you have to make the first step. Invite a couple over for dinner!
Post # 8
The same thing happened to me. We moved and only hung out with old friends when we visited our hometown. He started playing soccer and I started school. Pretty much that’s how. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to have any friends lol! You can join a club or something, a hobby etc. If you live in a big city is hard to find friends. Good Luck!
Post # 9
met all my friends through meetup.com
Post # 10
We are in the same boat. My Fiance moved around a lot as a kid, so he never had a big group of friends. And my friends all live 2-3 hours away, and we suck at making plans and getting together. It’s even worse this time of the year-it’s freezing outside and my Fiance and I always joke that we hibernate in the winter.
We actually love having people over. When we lived closer to friends we had game nights, potluck dinners, movie nights, etc. I miss it actually now that I am thinking about it 🙁
I have no advice-but I’ll follow this thread!
Post # 11
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
@Bostongrl25: We hibernate, too! It’s been a little better this year because we’ve had a mild winter, though.
Post # 12
It’s funny how as adults, it’s hard to make friends. But I think you alluded to your own answer: you can’t go up to someone and say “what to be my friend?” but you can go up to them and say “hey! want to come ovre for dinner/go to a hockey game/movie/whatever”. I struggled with this alot after I moved home from college, and what I eventually found out was, you just start asking people to do things!
Darling Husband is big into sports, so I started inviting the guys he talked about and their gfs over and now we’ve go a little group of 3 couples. Plus, the gfs have friends, that we have girls nights with. It just starts to evolve.
Post # 13
@tksjewelry: i’ve been wanting to do a bee meet up in the carolinas for a while. I know Ms. Magic tried to set one up in raleigh but i was out of town that week 🙁
@Gemstone: LOVE HIMYM – my favorite episode has to be when lily and marshall are trying to make couple friends – Cheese?!
@hisgoosiegirl: my husband and I really struggle with finding friends/couples that we both enjoy being with. It doesnt help that most of our friends are still single. The couple we spend the most time with is a good friend of mine, we used to work together at my old job and then she came to my new job a few months after me. she was in my wedding and we have been friends for at least 5 or 6 years – we are really lucky that her boyfriend and my husband get a long really well. I swear it helps! her and i can sit on the porch and talk for hours and catch up and the guys have no problem being alone and playing video games or something. She no longer works with me but met her boyfriend here so i still work with him…def makes it easier to keep in touch! Other than them though we mostly hang out with siblings, we both have a few older siblings that have SO’s. We have tried out other couples haha but there hasnt really been anyone else that both of us have ‘clicked’ with.
I recently came across this website called meetup. have you heard of it? they have a charlotte section for couples where they meet up around town once a month or so for bowling or trivia…i’ve been tempted to try it out and see if we meet anyone interesting.
Post # 14
@Atalanta: ahhh! so someone has heard of it! do you like it?
Post # 15
@Bostongrl25: Ugh, we are such hibernators, too!
Post # 16
@totheislnds: Hahaha! Great episode. And yeah, kind of the same thing. But shows like that make me insecure about not having that kind of steady group.