(Closed) How did you pick your wedding party?

posted 7 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 3
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We’re not having a bridal party. But, if we did, I would choose my cousin for sure. I do have a friend who she and I have been friends for 25 years. However, similar to your situation, we have only talk to one another on the phone maybe, six times this year and we haven’t seen each other in person since 2008. I think we’re just at different stages in our lives, but I would still ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. You might want to look at people that have been significant in your life and ask them? Or maybe if there is a newer friend that you can see the friendship extending past the wedding?

Also, it’s totally okay to have a ring bearer and no flower girl. You and FH can do whatever you like since it is your wedding!

Post # 4
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Your wedding should be any way you want it to be.  You don’t have to be super traditional if you don’t feel comfortable doing it.  For me, I had to narrow down among my good friends, and that was hard because I didn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings.  But, I picked the ones that were supportive and always there for me.  My brother’s Ex-wife only had her Mom as her bridesmaid, that was it, and it looked perfectly fine.  I see no reason to have to have a flower girl if you don’t have any little girls in your family or a friend’s daughter that you are close to.  I guess what I’m saying is don’t feel obligated to anything due to tradition, go with your gut on it.  I hope this helps 🙂

Post # 5
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

We first decided on a rough size.  He knew before me who he wanted and that he wanted his two brothers and I wanted my brother also.  This left him with 3 spots for his friends so he picked his two best friends without any thought and then the last guy is someone that he became really close with during college.

For me my Maid/Matron of Honor is someone I have been friends with since 8th grade.  We don’t see eachother all the time but needless to say she really gets me and we do talk on the phone and FB all the time.  The other girls are a line up of friends through out different parts of my life.  I have 2 girls from high school and 3 from college.  My last girl is someone that I have become close to in the last 2 years and really feel close with. 

I think you make your party what you want.  Don’t just jump and ask whoever.  Really think it out.  I wish I would have thought a little longer before I picked all of my girls.  They are all great people but some of them aren’t always there liked I would have hoped.

Post # 6
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

We are keeping it simple, smaller weddig party and are having it be, for the most part, family, to avoid cat fights lol 2 brides maids (brothers fiance & my fiances cousin) and a Maid of Honor which I may have my mom double as..she has no idea yet lol my brother will be a groomesman along with one of my fiances friends from HS and his best friend as the best man.DONE- simple lol no floower girl, no ring bearer…mom’s walking me down the aisle.  

Post # 7
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i just knew for years who at least 4 of my BMs would be: my sister is Maid/Matron of Honor, and then i have 3 best friends since elementary and high school. i really should have stopped there!  but then i asked my niece to be (she will be 18 at the wedding) because i wanted to include FI’s family more. then i asked a friend because i heard through the grapevine that she was bummed i didn’t ask her (wish i had been on weddingbee at the time to help me with that one). in the end i am happy with my choices there and excited all these girls will be there for me.

Fiance on the  other hand doesn;t have a lot of close friends as he has moved around a lot since high school. so he has my sister’s husband and his nephew. there is a possibility of a high school friend coming to the wedding and if so, we will add him.

Post # 8
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

i think you should pick who ever you feel comfortable with.  personally i would pick whoever i feel the closest too.

for us we knew we wanted the smallest wedding party possible so a Maid/Matron of Honor and a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I chose my sister since to me, she is the closest person/friend.

Post # 9
Member
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I only picked my sister as my Maid/Matron of Honor and my best friend of almost 20 years. These are the only two people who I am closest to.

Post # 10
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i have 2 older sisters so they are joint ‘matron of honors’ because i didnt feel right having one over the other (even though i am closer to one then the other).  Then i have 2 best friends from College who are bridesmaids, a cousin who i am very close with and was just a bridesmaid in her wedding in October.  Lastly i have my niece who will be a ‘junior’ bridesmaid because she is 14 now.  so 90% of my bridal party is family with only 2 friends. 

i have been a bridesmaid & maid of honor in 2 friends wedding before but I’m no longer all that close to them so i dont feel like I ‘have to’ have them as bridesmaids. 

Post # 11
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i have 2 older sisters so they are joint ‘matron of honors’ because i didnt feel right having one over the other (even though i am closer to one then the other).  Then i have 2 best friends from College who are bridesmaids, a cousin who i am very close with and was just a bridesmaid in her wedding in October.  Lastly i have my niece who will be a ‘junior’ bridesmaid because she is 14 now.  so 90% of my bridal party is family with only 2 friends. 

i have been a bridesmaid & maid of honor in 2 friends wedding before but I’m no longer all that close to them so i dont feel like I ‘have to’ have them as bridesmaids. 

Post # 12
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m stressing the same dilemma of chosing a bridal party.  (I didn’t want any and Fiance wants 5!)  I have 5 friends that I could ask…BUT I’m learning that there are things that need to be taken into consideration when making these decisions.

1- the bridesmaid usually pays for her dress/shoes in addition to gifts for you, at your shower and wedding, and she’ll be part of the bachelorette party etc.. so you can eliminate some that you know you don’t want to burden with a hardship.

2- you should choose friends/relatives that respect your values and customs.  The last thing you need when you are planning your big day is a nay sayer or idea mocker… weddings aren’t for everyone.

3-You do want someone on your side who is going to see that your day comes together and understands that its more about you than them.  I’ve watched one too many bridezilla shows to see that the bride gets stressed b/c her wedding party sucks at being supportive. Or their always late, or not helpful etc

4- I think in your case you might be safer going with relatives… Yea they aren’t that close but their family and you don’t get closer than that lol  even though I wouldn’t give up on your Boyfriend or Best Friend before you even asked her.

I hope I helped–if I hear anything else I’ll let you know b/c I’m in a big bind about choosing my own  good luck

Post # 13
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I picked 3 of my best friends.  One from high school and two from college.  I’ve been besties with these girls for 10-15 years and even though we’ve moved several hours (or states) away, I can always count on these gals.  Also, I wanted to be able to have fun and be comfortable with my BMs, not feel awkward around my conservative SIL or cousins I only see once or twice a year, for example. 

Post # 14
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I picked my older sister, my best friend from high school my two other very good friends from the camp we worked at and then my college roommate. It was supposed to be 3 each and then it went to 4 and then it ended up going to 5.

Post # 15
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

You should pick whoever you’re comfortable with. However, just know that people you’ve lost touch with tend to flake out when you ask them to be a part of your wedding. They may say yes at first, but in a few months (or when it’s time to buy the dress) they may say no. Would your friends do that to you, do you think?

Goodluck and I hope it all works out 🙂

Post # 16
Member
6823 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am having two good friends and my niece for bridesmaids/jr bridesmaids.  Fiance is haivng his two brothers and nephew that is little older than my niece for his groomsmen

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