(Closed) How did you pick your wedding party?

posted 9 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 17
352 posts
Helper bee

We wanted it small but it is growing.

First we decided to go with sisters and their husbands (1 set on my side, 2 sets on my FH’s side). Also, my 2 neices (9 and 11), my nephew (2 years old), FH’s neice 3 years old). Then… we decided to add FH’s cousin and our mutual friend. And Maid/Matron of Honor is currently preggers.

So… 4 guys, 4 girls, 2 juniors bridesmaids, 1 flower girl, 1 ring bearer, and another ring bearer or flower girl (we don’t know the sex of the baby yet).

Post # 18
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Thanks @oneloveRicherPrice!! That was good advice.

My Fiance has 4 kids from a previous marriage. Three are girls ages 18, 20, 21 and on boy 16, and they all want to be in the wedding party (as do we). But when it comes to #1 – they usually cover their dress/shoes cost, etc… really, my Fiance and I will be covering their costs. We just had to make it part of our overall budget.

@Alli259: ours is growing too. We wanted to have some of our friends involved in the wedding party, too – not just all family. So, we each decided on 4 friends. This makes our wedding party a grand total of 16 people, not including us! (4 my friends, 4 FI’s friends, 4 FI’s kids, 4 my family).

Due to the large party (and all the variety of body shapes and sizes), we are not making everyone get the same dress… we have a few coordinated colors (purple, blue, green from the peacock feather). Everyone can pick their own dress within the guidelines. We are just getting started. Hopefully this strategy will work!

Post # 19
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I chose the first 5 girls that popped into my brain. I really believe instinct is important when planning a wedding – gut reaction to a dress, the flower you have loved since you were a child, your idea of the perfect wedding photos equals reception spot. etc…

So even though one of the 5 girls who popped into my head was a friend I was very close to a few years ago but with whom I have lost touch recently (haven’t spoken much in the last 2 years or so), I immediately asked her becasue she obviously means enough to me for me to think of her right away.

Picture your bridal party and whoever you see in the first split-second in your mind is who you should ask, in my opinion.


ETA: That being said, I think OneLoveRicherPrice had some great advice, because one of the first 5 that popped into my head eventually pulled out b/c weddings aren’t really her “thing,” and I didn’t take that into consideration when asking.

Post # 20
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m from a Spanish family and in our tradition it’s easy, Family is always in the wedding party. Sisters, Neices, and we never separate couples so if your groomsmen is married his wife is naturally his partner and your bridesmaid.  I only asked 2 of my BM’s to be in my bridal party the rest automatically assigned their posts due to tradition.  So I have 7 bridesmaids 🙂 As for the two I asked, they have only been my friends as of recently in the past two years.  We don’t see eachother all the time, but I noticed that Facebook keeps our communication up to speed a lot better than calling or texting.

Post # 21
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My sister will be my matron of honor and I have two good friends that will be bridesmaids.

Post # 22
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Were having 2 flower girls and no boys! dont see anythng wrong with that…

And i picked my bridal party on who Im closest with and my family!

Post # 23
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I decided on the people that I asked when i thought to my self if I could only have a select few people at my wedding minus family who would be there. The people that you cant picture your big day with out and the people that are always there for you in life.. those are the people that should be there with you!!

Post # 24
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My Maid/Matron of Honor is my best friend.  We’ve been best friends since we were in middle school.

Next is another good friend who is Fiance cousin and she set us up.

My brothers Fiance

The next 3 Bridesmaid or Best Man are good friends

My 2 Junior Bridesmaid or Best Man are my future-step-daughter and Fiance neice

and my flower girl is my daughter

Post # 25
6 posts
  • Wedding: October 2011

ok so I don’t like to admit this but I am on my second marriage. I just think of the first one as a test run but that is for another blog. lol! My first wedding party was huge (to me, anyway) I had 8 bridesmaids and one Maid/Matron of Honor. They came from everywhere. Old friends, new friends, people I hadnt talked to in forever but I thought I had to have them because we were close at one point. My Maid/Matron of Honor was my closest friend at the time and I had people get upset with me about that. “How come I didn’t pick my oldest friend”…etc. This time around I am older and wiser. I only have 4 bridesmaids and no Maid/Matron of Honor. In my book, they are all equal. Its my sister and 3 close friends. All of them live near me. I have a dear friend that lives numerous states away from me and I fought with myself about adding her or not but I chose not to because the long distance thing is very difficult. The long distance ones miss out on everything! The bridal shower, the parties, the to do lists and there is no bonding with the other bridesmaids. I will be having both a flower girl and a ring bearer, both girls. Ultimately remember that there is no wrong. Its completely up to you who you want and how you want it and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Speaking from experience, I had a monser-in-law (first time around)

Post # 26
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@lcm82:I am in a similar boat. I did not have any wedding with the first wedding and now, it seems odd to have bridesmaids mainly because I am sure the wedding itself will be a smallish affair. I want my friends and family in the seats watching, enjoying the ceremony rather than up with me. I have a 17 year old, had her early and a 11 year old son and my Fiance has a 6 yo daughter. It would be nice to include them somehow. I still need to figure out the plans Fiance has for his side. 

Post # 27
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have a great deal of girls in my life that are like sisters but I knew I could not have all of them in my wedding so here is who and how I chose

1. Maid of Honor- My Sister

2. Maid of Honor- Best Friend of 27 years

3. Matron of Honor- Friend of over 10 years

4. Bridesmaid- Best Friend’s sister who is my little sister

5. Bridesmaid- My Aunt who is like my sister


Post # 28
38 posts
  • Wedding: November 2011

If I didn’t have significant family/friends to choose from, I wouldn’t have a bridal party.  In my opinion, the bridal party is selected from the group of invites as people who willl stand up for you in the face of anything, and especially on your wedding day.  It took me a few days of really thinking about it  before I decided who to have in my party…


Maid/Matron of Honor – Sister

Bridesmaid – Best friend from College who would go to the end of the earth for me, and I for her.

Bridesmaid – Best friend from my current area where I’ve lived for 7 years (whom I’ve known since the third day of living here and who kept me here, and therefor, without whom, I wouldn’t have met my fiance)

Bridesmaid – Sister of Groom…selected by me for various reasons, even with my fiance saying “You don’t have to have her if you don’t want to, she’ll understand”.


But really, don’t just scrap together a party to have one.  If you’re willing to stand up by yourself, or with groomsmen, or a ring bearer, then that’s just perfect!

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