(Closed) How did you prepare for having kids?

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Preparation for kids… wow- there were so many things we/I did and some of it wasn’t seemingly related to childbearing!

So, to answer some of your questions:

Financially- we wanted to be in a good financial position.  We both have student loans (and if we waited for those to be paid off we’d be too old to have kids!) so we prepared in other ways:  we both have full time jobs, my job comes with health benefits and I’m entitled to FMLA, we paid off our other debt (my car & credit cards) and paid down his car.  We have some money saved up, but our savings did take a bit of a hit with the wedding since we didn’t want to put any of that on credit cards.

Mentally- this was a tough one… I’m over 30 and very active, very fit, and very much used to doing what I want when I want.  He plays rugby, has guys’ night, and is also very used to doing what he wants when he wants.  We are spontaneous, we enjoy date nights out, we splurge a little from time to time.  We have spent some time working on eating out less, but still enjoying our freedom from babies.  We both work with children, so we at least sort of kind of know what’s up, and we have 3 dogs at home so we know we’re responsible enough to remember to feed them πŸ™‚

Bucket list- I don’t know that he had anything specifically that he wanted to do before having a baby, since having a baby won’t completely change his body.  I ran a marathon last spring, and I’m glad I did because I’ll be a whale by the time that race rolls around this year! 

Other- Physically, I wanted to be as healthy as possible in preparation for having a baby, being pregnant, etc.  I eat well, I work out hard, I am up to date on vaccines & my annual cooch snoop.  Once I got my BFP, I decreased the intensity and frequency of my workouts, but I’ve been able to remain fairly active throughout the pregnancy so far.  I’m 30 weeks now, and I’m still walking, doing zumba, spin class, and some swimming.  I just don’t work myself to breathlesness!  I also try to eat well, but I allow myself some leeway.  If I want tater tots and a burger, well you bet your ass I’m going to have them.  If I want skittles I eat skittles.  I do make sure I get plenty of lean protein and I take my vitamins.  I eat lean meat, lots of dairy, plenty of fresh veggies, and I snack on fruit and a string cheese once or twice a day.  But I splurge too πŸ™‚  Blame it on the hormones!

Post # 4
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

We gave ourselves a timeline of two years, during which I got myself used to the fact that I would lose my (then rocking) body – I was comfortable in my skin for the first time in my life after struggling with eating disorders and had to let go.  We also took those two years to travel as much as possible, going to Europe, Central America, the Caribbean…

As far as money is concerned, we both make a decent living and we’re very good at saving money so saving for baby was a non issue – and having a baby in Canada is not expensive since you don’t pay for hospital fees and you get paid parental leave for a year. With EI benefits and my employer top up, I had 93% of my salary coming in. Plus, we purchased used baby stuff except for a few select items (baby carrier and stroller), and received gifts as well…

So not that expensive.

Really the most important was our bucket list and getting mentally ready.

Post # 6
Member
1611 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

This is a good thread!  I am going to start ttc soon, and I am curious about the same thing.  I sometimes feel like we are reading and prepared, but since my husband is self employeed, his employment isn’t as steady as mine, so that makes me nervous, but I don’t know if that nervousness will ever go away.  Our savings also took a hit with the wedding as well, but being 31, I decided that we would be the type of people that would keep pushing it off until we were 60 because we would have never felt “ready”.  

Post # 7
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

There will never be the perfect time to have kids!!  There will always be a big bill to pay, another trip to take, etc.  Having kids is not the end of life its just another adventure.  As long as you realize that life is not 100% about what you want(because with kids its not at all!) you are ready!

Post # 8
Member
4582 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

The short answer is we didn’t prepare. And the pregnancy wasn’t unplanned, either – we just decided to do it and figured we would deal with things as they come. Responsible adults, we are. πŸ˜‰

Post # 9
Member
1611 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@iheartnerds:  I must be just as responsible as you are because I feel like that is what we are doing!

Post # 12
Member
3028 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Great thread, the FH and I had this talk a few weeks ago and we aren’t actively trying BUT I am getting my BC implant out in 2 weeks and am charting online w/ a basal thermometer.  Most of that is because I have been on BC for 12 years on/off and want to feel be more aware of my ovulation cycle.  He will either wear a condom, I will (try) to use a sponge or just abstain while ovulating.

Health: We quit drinking (which I rarely did,) I stopped eating raw fish (although my 30th birthday is next week and I will have a last hurrah for sushi!) I am starting folic in 2 weeks and am trying to lose some weight/be healthier/fit since I am like 30lbs overweight right now.

Financially: We both work and make “good” money, BUT student loans are looming and we will both me paying them off soon ($500/month gone!) I am right this minute signing us up for upromise.com hoping that might help later on a bit.

We also plan on having his mom (ex-nanny) watch the baby, since we both need to work- without that we would be scraping by- she lives 10 mins from our jobs.  We also have plans on renting a home and leaving our apt this summer.

Saving:  We are starting to build a saving account (have been living off 1.25 salary for last year) and hope to save $10k in 1 year as we do plan on buying a house once we move out of state in 2 years.  MI only has 6 weeks of short term disability abd my job offers no maternity pay!!! And I hope to be able to use FMLA and keep my job while staying home w/ the baby for 3 months living off the savings.  Also by then I will be on his much better insurance.

We are also going to have an IRA (my job has no retirement plan!) and begin with CDs to start saving for long term goals.  

Oh and we are preparing by getting married this summer! Ha putting cart before thr horse πŸ˜›

I would love to see more comments!

Post # 13
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I started taking prenatals, eating healthier, and exercising.  We have worked for close to a year to pay off our credit card debt.  We have a ton of student loans–no way we could get those paid off before baby.  I would be too old to parent a child by then lol.  I started putting in more for retirement.  We also have worked to save money for me to be off work (I don’t get maternity leave.)  And, we waited for my husband to get a promotion so we could afford basic baby costs (daycare, formula, diapers, wipes, clothes, medical expenses).  I had my teeth cleaned also.  We don’t have a ton of money in savings.  We mostly just wanted our credit card debt paid off.  I took a second job to pay off mine.  My husband’s will be paid off by the time baby comes in September or shortly thereafter.  We wanted to take a big trip but wanted kids more.

Post # 14
Member
7770 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

When it felt right it happened.  I am a go-with-the-flow type person.  I also think it has to do with age.  We lived A LOT prior and I think the most important thing to being a parent is knowing who you are and having life experience under your belt so you are secure.  I don’t think it is about money, personally.  You can have money and be an immature or irrational person and that isn’t ideal for kids.

Post # 15
Member
2652 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church

We assessed whether our apartment would be able to handle an infant/toddler and figured out where things would have to be moved/baby proofed in order to accomodate a child. I looked at how much school I had left, made sure to get as many of my mandatory courses in as possible and will be taking a term of courses this summer so that I can graduate in December. We are in cycle 6 of TTC right now, I would be due in October if we conceived this cycle, and I’m waiting on AF right now (due today), if she doesn’t show today then I POAS tomorrow morning and we’ll see what the verdict is!

We really didn’t need to prepare too much. We’re both mentally ready to have kids and chose to go for it. We’re in Canada too, so the actual pregnancy and delivery are not expensive.

ETA: I’m also taking vitamins and 1000mcg (1mg) folic acid. I wasn’t doing well on prenatals and my Dr told me to just switch to a multi and make sure that I got that much folic acid. Some prenatals have it and some don’t; mine didn’t, so I was taking it separately already.

Post # 16
Member
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We both finished college, my husband finished his master’s, we got married, bought a house and went on a few trips!  We didnt stress over the budget.  Kids are never affordable.  We just knew what we had to cut when the day came – and it came – and it was cut. womp womp…

 

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