How did you space your kids out – pros and cons

posted 2 years ago in Babies
  • poll: How many years between your first and second?
    1 : (4 votes)
    9 %
    2 : (19 votes)
    44 %
    3 : (8 votes)
    19 %
    >3 : (12 votes)
    28 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    709 posts
    Busy bee

    one and done 😉 

    Post # 32
    Member
    2664 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    dtbm01 :  I don’t have children (yet) but would like them to be about 2 years apart. 

    I have two siblings…a sister who is 3 years older than me and a sister who is 2 years younger than me. My older sister and I fought all the time as a children and teens and didn’t get along, and we still aren’t that close. It is getting better between us as we get older, but we still have our moments…she moved out when she went to college when she was 18 and hasn’t been back and lives 2.5 hours away. My younger sister and I always have been close…when I went to kindergarten and she would steal my stuff while I was gone, through arguments, both of us going to nursing school (at different times), and still to this day. She’s one of my best friends, and we get to hang out often cuz we live close (20 min away) and our husbands work in IT and get along so well. We have never been distant and always text each other if we don’t have time to talk (I work all three shifts, so we can text at any time of the day) or we hang out every couple weeks. 

    Post # 33
    Member
    2794 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    My son is 1 and we’re trying for number 2. We had issues getting pregnant first time round (2.5 years of trying) and we’re turning 34 soon so didn’t want to wait too long just in case.

    Post # 34
    Member
    514 posts
    Busy bee

    3 Years, I didn’t plan it like that but it turned out to be the perfect gap 😊

    Post # 35
    Member
    2813 posts
    Sugar bee

    We have twins so didn’t really have a choice on the gap :)…Girls are turning a year in few weeks. First 6 months was hard. But now it’s getting easier so to me small gap seems easier than larger one. When one baby sleeps through the night, don’t want to repeat of every 2 hours wake ups with new baby 5 years later (at least I would dread it), somewhat of same routine and schedule, playmates, can do 1 drop off/pick up to the same school, etc. I️ am for the smaller age gap

    Post # 36
    Member
    383 posts
    Helper bee

    14 months apart. Perfect.

    Pros

    They can entertain each other. They are even in the same class and grade (so homework is done in one shot).  They are super close.

    Cons

    They sometimes fight a lot.

    Post # 37
    Member
    1141 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    I guess it depends how long their arms are. You want to keep them far enough apart that they can’t hit eachother but not so far apart that you can’t watch them all at the same time. 

    Post # 38
    Member
    1041 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    What I’ve learned through discussions is that most seem to think their age gap is perfect. So I think it boils down to what you know. My two are 21 months apart and my little man is only 5 months so I don’t know all the pros and cons yet. The pros for me thus far were being able to be off work while my daughter was in the most fun stage ever (I get a year mat leave) and the kids will never know life without the other. And if we would have waited, I think it would take some convincing to have 2. Life was just easy at that point.

    The cons were that my daughter wasn’t very independent when I got pregnant and didn’t like tv so the first tri was terrible and I felt like a horrible mom. Another con was that I felt like my daughter had to grow up too fast. She’s SUCH a different kid than before she was a big sister.

    I think 27-28 months would be ideal and is what we’ll shoot for if there’s baby #3.

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