(Closed) How did you word your invites?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
8471 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

If they plan on paying, then both.  If by the time you need to start on the invites and they have not given you anything, ask your Fiance to find out what the deal is. 

Post # 5
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I always think it’s nice to include the grooms parents even if they aren’t paying.  

Mine say Parents Names request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter My First and Middle Name to His First Middle Last Name, son of His parents name.

His parents are paying for rehersal dinner and flowers. But regardless of them paying for anything, I would have worded it the same way.  

Post # 6
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MissEMich:  our RSVP date is 5-6 weeks out. 

Post # 7
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@MrsWBS:  Ours were pretty similar in wording.  We included both sets of parents, his parents did arrange for the rehearsal dinner.

The real reason we did the wording this way was because we had enough relatives and families that saw us grow up that we needed the “oh, so-and-so’s kid” connection to be made.  We’ve gotten invites or cards where the last name or the family member we know isn’t readily apparent and it’s confusing.

Post # 8
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

RSVP dates:  I gave myself a month before the wedding.  That way I could wait a week, then spend a week tracking people down, then still have a week to get my seating chart done and get numbers and payments to the venue a week in advance.  Ours was a holiday weekend, too, and most people had to travel, so they pretty much had to commit well before then.

Wording:  if his parents haven’t ponied up, then just yours.  If they ever do offer for real, maybe have them do the (traditional) rehearsal dinner, then invites for that can have them as the hosts.  I had no idea that his parents were giving us a huge chunk of cash as a gift (but knew it would be something, but as a gift), and my parents had paid for my dress and helped with some stuff, so we just mentioned both.  We did:

“Miss S and Mr J along with our parents invite you to share in our joy as we exchange marraige vows on the twenty-seventh of May, two-thousand and twelve, etc, etc.”  Our wedding was outdoors at a sculpture garden, so no need for specific wording related to having it at a church or anything.  We had a card that mentioned the tram for the ceremony, and that dinner, etc, would immediately follow.

Post # 9
Member
13290 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I used the “son of..” line after FI’s name on the invites.  His parents contributed a small amount, but nothing in comparison to what my parents/we did.  I didn’t feel it was fair to my parents to put that they were both hosting when, in reality, they were not. 

As for RSVP date, I set mine two weeks before the caterer’s deadline for a final headcount so I had time to track down non-responders!

Post # 12
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I incorporated both parents’ names.  Check out my wedding to see the full wording. [post moderated for self promotion]

Post # 13
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Glen Sanders Mansion

@MissEMich:  I would send out the invites A week earlier (or right after the memorial day holiday).  If you have people coming in from out of town who still haven’t taken time off from work/made hotel reservations, it will give them more time to get those things done.

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